Blog

Six Priceless Gifts That Don’t Cost Us Anything

In many cultures, this is a time of the year when gifts are given to family, friends, colleagues, and others. The gift-giving tradition generates feelings of generosity and gratitude, but it can also feel like a burden and an obligation. During an already busy and pressure-filled time, we find ourselves stretching budgets, pressing for time, and searching our brains for gift ideas.

Unfortunately, gift giving under these conditions can risk us missing the value of gifts given freely and thoughtfully with the recipient in mind. Gift giving should not feel like an obligation. The gifts that matter the most, regardless of the time of year or tradition behind them, come from our hearts filled with the joy and happiness of the receiver in mind.

In fact, some of the most precious gifts we can give aren’t tangible objects or expensive selections. Instead, the gifts that matter most tend to cost the least and are given without expectation or obligation. Here are six gifts we can offer now or at any time of the year that communicate our caring, demonstrate our generosity, and cost us nothing. Most important, they can be priceless to those who receive them.

The first gift is our simple, attentive listening. Listening communicates respect and value. Our willingness to be still and really listen to others offers a precious gift to those who need to be heard and want to be understood. We don’t have to have all the answers. We may have no solutions to offer, but our willingness to give our time, dedicate our attention, and actively care matters more than we know.

A second gift is our willingness to accept others without conditions and expectations. Our society, our communities, our schools, and even our families are becoming more diverse. People who see life differently from us, whose lifestyles may be different from ours, and whose goals are not goals we would choose to pursue still deserve to be accepted for who they are. Still, the sad reality is that people often face barriers, discrimination, and pressures to conform that are debilitating. Our willingness to accept and value those who may not be exactly like us is a welcome gift and gives reassurance of their inherent value as a person.

The third gift is our willingness to offer encouragement and give support to those who may be struggling and need someone who believes in them and wants them to succeed. However, our encouragement needs to be authentically offered and our support genuinely extended. Often just knowing that we’re confident in them and their potential to succeed is enough to encourage them through their struggle and get them to move forward.

A fourth gift is to reach out and lend a hand without expectations or obligations. Our willingness to give our energy, insight, skills, and time can be a relief-giving gift when someone feels overwhelmed, inadequate, and alone. We may not see our assistance as special or unusual, but when offered at just the right time, freely given, and obligation-free, our offer of assistance can be a burden-lifting and much appreciated gift.

The fifth gift is our willingness to forgive, let go of past grievances, and restore relationships. Disappointment, resentment, and separation result in heavy burdens both for those who harbor these feelings and for those who are the object of them. The feelings may have roots in legitimate grievances. Past words or actions may have caused hurt. However, hurt feelings and grievances rarely maintain any value over time. Deciding to forgive, let go, and restore relationships that matter to us create valuable, life-lifting gifts.

The sixth gift may be simplest, yet it can make an outsized difference. That gift is a smile. A genuine smile assures others we see and notice them. A smile offers hope and communicates caring. It’s difficult to ignore a bright and friendly smile. A smile brightens a day and offers hope. It‘s been said that “If we meet someone too worried or distressed to give us a smile, we should leave one of ours. For no one needs a smile quite as much as someone who has none to give.”

In this season of giving and of gratitude, these gifts can have astounding positive effects on those around us. Additionally, these gifts also offer special value to us as their givers. Each of these gifts enrich our lives, make us more optimistic, and leave us feeling happier. It’s a no-brainer that these dual benefits make these gifts worth giving!

Eight Secrets for When You Want to Slow Down and Savor Life

Climate and Culture, In Your Corner, Supporting Teachers

December 19, 2024

Eight Secrets for When You Want to Slow Down and Savor Life

Life seems to come at us at full speed; as Ferris Bueller notably observed, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” In our day-to-day schedule, though, finding time to reflect, appreciate, and enjoy life can sometimes feel beyond our reach, yet the truth is that each of us has the same number of minutes and hours in each day. The key to finding a pace that works for us and provides time for what makes us happy, gives us comfort, and feeds our soul resides in decisions we make every day.

We can allow life to come at us at its own pace, or we can decide to exercise more control. We can react to things life throws at us without much thought, or we can respond with insight and purpose. The choice is ours.

Of course, gaining more control over our lives, finding ways to moderate the pace, and reserving time for what matters to us is not necessarily easy. It requires thoughtfulness, focus, and some discipline. However, the process can be amazingly fulfilling and meaningful. Here are eight strategies we can use to slow life down and allow us to savor more of it.

Establish reassuring routines and reinforcing rituals. We might start each day by taking a brief walk while taking note of our surroundings and appreciating nature. We may spend a few minutes stretching and loosening our muscles. We might spend some time journaling our thoughts while having a cup of tea or coffee. The key is to begin the day with a comfortable pace and thoughtful presence. Similarly, at the end of the day, we can establish quieting and relaxing routines and rituals; listening to calming music, reading a good book, or taking a relaxing bath or shower can bring the day to a peaceful close.

Engage in mini breaks and mindful minutes. We can interrupt the pace of hectic days by consciously stepping back for even a few minutes to close our eyes, calm our minds, and give our brains a rest. These mini breaks can also be times when we practice mindfulness activities such as breathing deeply, choosing calming thoughts, and centering our attention on the moment. Even a minute or two spent during transitions can help us to slow down and connect to our feelings and surroundings. As a result, our stress can ebb, and our productivity can surge.

Slow your speed and take your time. As simple as it may seem, consciously slowing our walking pace, moderating the tempo of our speech, and even driving at a more leisurely pace can help us to feel calm and more deliberate in our thoughts and actions. Similarly, we can resist multitasking and, instead, focus on what we are currently doing while savoring the moment. Meanwhile, we will make fewer mistakes and get more accomplished.

Take time away from the tension of technology. We might designate times when we will unplug from notifications, alarms, and screens. For example, we might choose to unplug during meals, while driving to and from work, an hour before bed, and, if possible, a day on the weekend. We can avoid nonessential alarms and notifications that add to our distraction. Of course, staying away from technology during the night can lead to more restful sleep. Time spent away from the screens in our lives also creates more opportunities to focus on ourselves, connect with our surroundings, and pay more attention to our loved ones.

Notice small things and appreciate simple pleasures. In a hurried life we can overlook, ignore, and discount the presence and value of small but enjoyable aspects of life. Paying attention to the sunrise and sunset, focusing on music as we listen to it, stopping to smell a flower, or enjoying the taste of a delicious meal can help us to gain greater enjoyment of everyday life. Making time to visit with a friend, spending quality time with family members, or engaging in conversation with a neighbor can help us to refocus and reflect on the importance of the people in our lives.

Prioritize progress over perfection. When we expect perfection, we are more likely to be disappointed than gratified. Focusing on progress gives us permission to make mistakes—and learn from them. Expecting perfection, on the other hand, means mistakes must be avoided. We can celebrate small wins and modest successes as we build new skills, develop our talents, and expand our expertise. Regardless of whether progress comes at a modest and consistent pace or occurs in surprising leaps, we can savor the journey and use the experience to remain positive and motivated to live and learn.

Consider the possibility of procrastination. Procrastination has a bad reputation, but just because something is on our to-do list does not always mean that it must be done right now, or even today. Sometimes allowing time to pass can lead to a better understanding of something or a better approach to completing a task. In some cases, conditions migrate, and the task we thought we needed to complete changes or may no longer require our attention. Of course, we need to avoid falling into the trap or habit of putting off what really needs to be done. However, considering elements of urgency, timeliness, and consequences can help us to better manage the pace and sequence of what needs our attention.

Regularly reflect, reassess, and realign. Life happens whether we go with the flow or decide how to live it. Spending time thinking about what is important to us, contemplating the difference we want to make, and setting goals can help us to clarify and honor our priorities. However, we need to regularly reflect on how and whether we are really spending our time on what is most important. Intentions matter and plans are necessary, but what we do and how we spend our time determines whether what we value is also what we live.

There is no question that resisting the constant rush of life is a challenge and finding time for meaning, enjoyment, and appreciation can be difficult. These and other strategies can help us to create space for meaning, find a place for enjoyment, and embrace life as it unfolds. Do you have some favorite strategies to add?

Climate and Culture, In Your Corner

Want to Lift Your Spirits? Follow These Five Practices

December 12, 2024

In Your Corner, Student Learning

Five Common Assumptions About Learning We Need to Fix

December 12, 2024

Climate and Culture, In Your Corner, Thinking Frames

Looking for Inspiration? Here Are Six Ways to Find It

December 05, 2024

Communication, In Your Corner, Relationships and Connections

Six “Potholes” to Avoid When Students Are Upset

December 05, 2024

Share Your Tips & Stories

Share your story and the tips you have for getting through this challenging time. It can remind a fellow school leader of something they forgot, or your example can make a difficult task much easier and allow them to get more done in less time. We may publish your comments.

Send Us An Email