The Master Teacher Blog

It's often said that what matters more than what we say is how we say it. While this is certainly true in many circumstances, when we want to communicate in ways that influence understanding and behavior, our words themselves matter. After all, the words we choose can open possibilities or invite resistance, instill hope or foster despair, encourage cooperation or engender resistance, or instill confidence or sow seeds of doubt.  

Unfortunately, many common phrases can stand in the way of our efforts to build self-confidence in and connect with our students. They can unintentionally leave students feeling incapable and diminished. On the other hand, often even small shifts in the words we choose can reframe issues and offer possibilities. They can separate what students do from who they are. Small shifts in language can convey our belief in students and communicate our caring.  

One of the most common language shift suggestions is to replace “but” with “and.” While “but” suggests objection or complications, “and” offers a path forward. Rather than signaling immediate rejection or resistance, “and” proposes supplemental consideration. Let’s consider six other common words and phrases and how to adjust them to shift focus, create hope, and stimulate student effort.  

Rather than “You’re wrong,”  

try “Let’s look at it another way.” 

This shift removes potential guilt and shame and proposes another way to think about a task or problem. It also separates the student from the mistake and opens the door to learning from what has not worked.  

Rather than “You should already know this,”  

shift to “What do you remember?” 

This adjustment avoids what may seem obvious and demeaning and instead focuses on activating prior knowledge. Students may know more than they think and just need a nudge to make connections and access what they already know. Further, this frame avoids defaulting to blame when our goal is learning.  

Rather than “You’re not listening,”  

try “I need to be sure that I have your attention.” 

The initial statement focuses on what the student should do without presenting a reason or rationale. The language shift presents a purpose for listening and suggests that something important is about to follow. It also focuses on the student’s behavior without suggesting a label.   

Rather than “I already explained that,”  

offer, “Let me explain it another way.” 

This adjustment sidesteps assigning blame and recognizes that regardless of the cause, what was explained was not understood. Further, repeating what was not understood has a limited chance of changing the outcome.  

Rather than “Everyone else can do this,”  

try “Let’s figure out what will help you do this.” 

Making an unfavorable comparison to other students is rarely an effective way to motivate students who may be struggling or lacking confidence. This shift takes the focus off other students and conveys confidence that the student can be successful. It also implies that we will be there to help the student find a path to success. 

Rather than “You can’t,”  

shift to “What you can do is…” 

Telling students what they cannot do is sometimes unavoidable. However, if we can shift attention to what students can do, we sidestep what might be a restriction and present an alternative that holds possibility. When what we offer accomplishes what the student initially desired, but in a different way, we can avoid resistance and maybe even enhance the student’s experience.   

Obviously, there are times when what we must say to students will be uncomfortable and restricting, especially when we need to enforce boundaries and reinforce expectations. Nevertheless, when what we say conveys our confidence and caring and builds connections with students, everyone wins.

We know that learning is influenced heavily by emotions. When our students feel safe, included, supported, and confident, learning thrives. When they feel fearful, worried, isolated, or uncertain, learning suffers. Students’ emotions influence whether they choose to engage, take risks, and persist in learning. 

Of course, we do not and cannot control every emotion students experience. However, our emotions and the ways in which we communicate them matter. Students pay close attention to the tone of our voice, our body language, the expressions on our faces, and other emotional clues, and what they “read” in our emotions often influences how they feel about learning—and whether they choose to engage with it.  

Our ability to read and respond to students’ emotions can also significantly influence students' openness to learning and their choices regarding it. When we recognize that a student is struggling, needs reassurance, craves understanding, or is experiencing other influential emotions, we can make choices, employ strategies, and communicate in ways that lessen the extent to which emotions might interfere.  We can also encourage positive emotions that support and lead to learning. 

We are talking here about our emotional quotient (EQ) and how we can use our EQ to build trust, nurture a sense of belonging, bolster confidence, encourage curiosity, and foster persistence. Let’s explore five examples of this influential force and how it can support learning.  

We can start by being self-aware. Before engaging with students, we might ask ourselves, “What emotions am I bringing to the classroom today?” When we are feeling tired, stressed, frustrated, or distracted, we risk letting our emotions get in the way of learning. Students often pay more attention to our emotional messages than to the words we speak. To shift our mood, we might take a micro-break, focus on something positive, commit to pausing before responding negatively, or at least avoid letting our emotions become the message. 

We might activate our emotional radar. We can remind ourselves that being conscious of students’ emotions can influence how we relate to them and how they respond in kind. We might look for nonverbal cues and be curious about unexpected and unexplained shifts in behavior. We might engage students in brief emotional check-ins if we feel the classroom tone or mood is off. Our awareness of and readiness to respond to students’ emotional states can prevent many distractions, conflicts, and other unproductive behaviors.  

We can lead with empathy. When students struggle, seem distracted, or are uncooperative, we might be tempted immediately to push, direct, and insist. However, doing so may overlook important information that could provide insight into the emotions causing the behavior. Armed with better information and understanding, we might find better, more productive options for responding.  By listening and being curious, we are more likely to reduce the defensiveness and pushback we experience while opening the door to problem-solving and solution-finding.  

We can seek motivational alignment. Student motivation can be influenced by a wide range of emotions. They may fail to see meaning and purpose in the learning task, or they may be delighted and ready to approach the task using their creative energy. The key for us is to understand how students perceive learning tasks and to help them align their motivation with the task at hand. We may need to help them see the value and purpose of what they are learning, offer options and choices, or make other adjustments depending on their needs. 

We can build confidence. Fear of failure can be a powerful emotional barrier to learning. Some students need to feel confident before they will even begin a task, others need a boost in confidence to persist, and still other students need us to help them gain the confidence to take learning risks, trust themselves, and stretch beyond what they have tried before. To bolster confidence, we might break tasks down into achievable steps. We may help students focus on the importance of the right kind of effort and the best strategies. Or we may need to increase the frequency and forward focus of our feedback. The hope and sense of self-efficacy we nurture in students can become the keys to getting started, persisting, and finding success.    

Emotions can be the “hidden hand” in learning success. We can plan the best lesson and deliver what feels like perfect instruction, but if we fail to attend to and respond to students' emotions, we can fall flat. It is our EQ that often makes the crucial difference in whether students choose to learn.  

Once the school year is underway, we face the challenge of establishing routines, setting a pace, and creating a rhythm to carry our instruction and, by extension, student learning forward. We may be eager to introduce the curriculum and move forward with what we have to share with students, but success with these priorities depends on creating a solid context and processes to support what lies ahead. 

A successful launch to the new year will require some patience, discipline, and focus from us. Time spent in the first weeks of school helping students practice routines, develop confidence, and refresh their learning can make our work with students in the coming weeks and months significantly more successful. Let’s review five start-of-the-year practices that can position our students and us for success in the year ahead. 

Observe before expecting. We may have ideas and hold assumptions about what students should know and be able to do, but we must remember that what students bring to our classroom may vary widely due to a number of factors. Some students may not have fully grasped past learning or may have forgotten much of what they have learned. They may have had a summer filled with distractions and trauma. Or they may have engaged in activities that accelerated their knowledge and built new skills. The truth is that students will begin the year where they are, not where we expect or want them to be. By taking time to observe what students know, how they behave, and what they may be ready to learn, we can gain insights that inform our planning and guide our instruction in the coming weeks.  

Prioritize progress over perfection. We want students to find success. Yet, we need to remember that learning is a journey. Perfection may be a goal, but expecting perfection can be a recipe for frustration and disappointment—for our students and for us. The gap between where students are and where they are going will be closed by effort and progress. We need not lose sight of where we want to take students, but we must be realistic about the length and nature of the journey. Prioritizing progress is a better strategy than expecting perfection, especially in the first few weeks.  

Go slow to go fast. The beginning of the new year, those first few weeks when we meet and begin getting to know our students, is the time to focus on building a foundation for the rest of the year. Relationships built in the initial weeks can create a foundation of trust and reassurance that can prevent future resistance and conflict while building cooperation and commitment. Time spent refreshing concepts and renewing skills can save time and frustration later as students encounter more complex ideas and build new capacities. We may worry that we are off to a slow start, but momentum fueled by confidence and competence can easily make up for lost time.  

Repeat to automate. Students do their best when they know what is expected and when they are comfortable and confident with routines. We may think that a few repetitions should be adequate for students to learn and follow daily procedures, but when students are still trying to find their place and hoping to fit in, this type of learning can take longer than we expect. Rather than place a number on how many times we will explain and repeat, we might continue until students no longer need reminding. While getting started may take longer than we anticipate, well-established routines and expectations can pay rich dividends as the year unfolds.  

Assume positive efforts and intentions. Student behavior in the opening weeks may be erratic and unpredictable. Some students will withdraw until they feel a sense of belonging. Other students will act out and even be defiant until they feel assured in their relationship with us. Still others may test our boundaries and expectations until they are confident that we are serious and will follow through. In response to these varying and sometimes confusing behaviors, seeking to understand the reasons behind the behaviors we see will be more productive than drawing premature conclusions or assuming the worst of students. Unfortunately, when what we assume and expect is negative, we are more likely to encounter more negativity. Students often need time and a fresh start. We can help by assuming students’ intentions are positive—or at least suspending judgment until we have more experience with them.  

There is much to do and think about in the initial weeks of the new school year. We might find ourselves wanting to immediately launch into the curriculum and leave relationship building, routines, and expectations for later, yet this is usually a mistake. Trying to correct and undo unacceptable and unproductive behaviors and processes usually takes more time and effort than establishing a strong foundation from the beginning. 

The first week of school is an incredibly important time. What students learn, experience, and sense as the first week unfolds can set the stage for the year ahead. Meanwhile, we can feel the pressure of managing logistics, setting expectations, and getting started with learning. 

These are important elements to address, but there are other aspects of the beginning of a new year that also deserve our attention. How students feel about what lies ahead, whether they think they belong, and whether they believe they can succeed also matter. In fact, unless we address these issues with students early on, our students—and we—are likely to struggle to find a rhythm, pace, and path that will launch a successful year.  

As we plan the first week of school, we need to consider the messages students want and need to hear to help them start off on the right foot. Here are five assurances students want to hear and feel confident about before the end of the first week. 

You belong here. When students feel welcome, seen, valued, and respected, they are more likely to be open to forming relationships with us and with others in the class. We may not be able to create a community in the first week, but we can lay its foundation. For example, we might prioritize learning students’ names as quickly as possible. Having others know and use your name is a sign of acceptance, respect, and belonging. We might also design content-related activities to help students become acquainted with one another and interact. Our goal is for students to feel that our class is a safe, welcoming, and supportive place for their learning.  

You can succeed in this class. Beyond telling students that they can succeed in our class, we can give them opportunities to experience success. It may be solving an accessible problem. We may give students an engaging but achievable challenge to work on. We might even have students share personal experiences that are meaningful to them or share their expertise in an area where they excel. The key is to give students opportunities to experience success and feel assured that success is possible. The more we build a foundation of hope and confidence, the more likely students will be to engage with the challenges that lie ahead. 

I am here for you. Some students will come to our class with a history of success and expect to succeed, even without our assurance that we will be there to help and support their learning. However, more students will enter our class with questions about who we are, whether we can be trusted, and whether their learning is our priority. We may assume that students should know that we are committed to nurturing their learning. Of course, they should. Yet many students may not feel that all the teachers they have experienced have held their learning as most important. Stating our commitment and offering examples of how we will support their learning can make a big difference to these students.  

We will learn together. This message may be surprising to some students. They might assume that, as teachers, we already know all there is to know about teaching students. Our opportunity is to let students know that an important part of our work is getting to know them as people and as learners. We not only want to learn about how they learn, but we may also need to learn new approaches and strategies to help them learn. Meanwhile, we can assure students that they will play an important role in the process by giving their best effort, letting us know when they need help or support, and sharing what is working for them. In the end, finding success will require that we both learn. 

This is going to be a good year. The first week is a time to build excitement, anticipation, and curiosity about what lies ahead. We might discuss the interesting and useful things students will learn. We might preview some of the “headline” activities we have planned. We might also share some of our humor, interests, and experiences. Having students see us as humans who enjoy life, other people, and learning can provide a great jump start to the year.  

Students come into the beginning of a new year with excitement and curiosity, but they may also be anxious, uncertain, and hesitant about what lies ahead. The first week is our time to create a vibe of excitement, possibility, and opportunity.

Regardless of how many new school years we have experienced, it seems that every year there are elements of the new start we fail to recall or expect. We may even find ourselves thinking something along the lines of “Whoa, I forgot that my new students would be like this.”  

After all, the summer has given us psychological distance from the routines and realities of the classroom. We have had time to allow memories to fade and even for some assumptions to form. For example, we may assume—without reflection—that our new students will be like the students we sent on their way in May or June.  

It is true that each school year offers a new beginning. It also means we will be starting where we started last year, not where we ended. The students we will meet are likely to present several surprises, even though we may have been through this yearly cycle multiple times.  

As we prepare to meet our students, there are several realities to keep in mind to minimize surprises and be prepared for what lies ahead. Here are six start-of-the-new-year truths that are likely to mystify us if we are not ready to deal with them.  

Students will seem younger and less mature than we expect. We can easily forget that our new students are nearly a year younger than the students we finished with the previous year. While students’ appearance and behaviors may surprise us, they are likely to be just about where last year’s students were when the year began. As the year unfolds, we will again have a front-row seat as students grow, mature, and end the year in places not much different from those of the students we said goodbye to in the spring. 

Students will have forgotten more than we expect. Depending on the students’ summer, they may have had few opportunities to use, refresh, and build on what they learned last year. Consequently, some of what students knew and could do when school ended in the spring may not be immediately available to them when they return. Review, reinforcement, and even some reteaching will probably be required before students are ready to engage in new learning.  

Students’ readiness to learn will be more varied than we expect. Not unlike what students may have forgotten over the summer, they will return in the fall at different levels of readiness to learn. Some students may have had a traumatic summer, some may have lost skills due to neglect, and some may have had a stimulating, academically rich summer. A successful beginning to the new year will require understanding of where students are in their learning readiness and what we need to do to engage and support them. 

Students will take longer to learn and follow routines than we expect. Routines may have seemed like second nature by the time school ended in the spring. In fact, we may have had to give little thought to managing and reinforcing routines after students spent months in our presence and under our influence. Unfortunately, the students we encounter as school starts may be unfamiliar with our routines and expectations. Our challenge will be to return to the basics, explain the importance of routines, give students opportunities to practice, and provide ongoing guidance and feedback. Of course, they will also need our patience. 

Students will be more anxious than we expect. We can forget that we represent a significant and even scary unknown to many students. They will be trying to figure out what life will be like in our presence. Some students may show far less anxiety than they feel. Other students may act out, seem distracted, or even be defiant as they sort through what to expect in the year ahead. Obviously, we need to do what we can to inform and reassure students about the rich, meaningful experiences we have planned and the accepting and supportive class community we intend to build.  

Student relationships will take longer to develop than we expect. By the end of the previous year, we had developed strong relationships with students. They had learned to trust us, feel free to take learning risks, and depend on us for understanding and support. Unfortunately, the new students with whom we will begin the year will not have had the experiences of last year’s class. They likely have had varying experiences with adults, some of which may leave them reluctant to form relationships. Our challenge is to understand that building relationships will take time and remind ourselves that the investment we make will help the year go better and our students to learn more. 

The beginning of a new school year is an exciting time. Months of discovery, engagement, challenge, and progress lie ahead. However, we must remember that each year, students come to us where last year’s class started, not where they ended. We need to give ourselves space and grace to find our way and our rhythm with this new group of students.

Habits are often formed without a deliberate decision or intent. We might find ourselves engaging in certain behaviors under certain circumstances, such as when we are upset, disappointed, frustrated, or hurt. However, once the situation has passed or the circumstances have changed, we might continue the behavior. Our sour attitude persists, our perspective remains negative, or our blaming continues.  

We might enter a cycle of behavior that feels natural, even though it may not be helpful or healthy. It is possible that we do not even realize what we are doing or how our behavior affects others. If left unaddressed, these negative, often self-defeating behaviors become established habits that persist unless we recognize their impact and commit to change.  

In many life contexts, people can choose to overlook negative habits or physically remove themselves from dealing with them. However, when certain habits carry over into teaching and leadership roles, they can be especially destructive. Students and colleagues do not always have choices to remove themselves and avoid the impact of the behavior. In fact, some behaviors can get in the way of our instruction and even undermine our students’ learning. Consequently, we need to be vigilant to ensure our behavior is healthy, helpful, and positive. Here are five of the most common negative behaviors that can become destructive habits, along with strategies to counter them.  

Sarcasm. This behavior can be subtle. In fact, it may initially surface as well-meaning humor. However, the impact often comes when, instead of being used as an intentional tool to relate to our snarkier students, it becomes a habit we employ thoughtlessly; then, it comes across as disrespectful and cutting, causing shame or hurt in its recipients. For example, saying “Nice of you to join us” when a student arrives late conveys anything but a welcoming gesture. Or joking “Well, that is one way to get it wrong” is not sending a message of support. Even though sarcastic remarks can at times elicit laughs and factor into relatability, especially for those of us who teach teens or pre-teens, they might more often undermine trust, discourage risk-taking, and strain relationships.   

Counter habit: Use neutral language rather than casting judgment. Replace with respect, authentic support, and warmth. 

Cynicism. While less overt than sarcasm, this behavior conveys low expectations and a dismissive attitude. The implication may be that nothing can be done, things cannot be changed, and efforts to make a difference will be fruitless. Statements such as “Most of them will not study anyway” and “We’ve tried that before; it never works” convey a lack of hope and can send students the message that they cannot or will not learn difficult things.  

Counter habit: Replace with credible optimism. Focus on conditions to make a difference. Think “not yet” rather than “not possible.” 

Emotional disengagement. The behavior shares some characteristics with sarcasm and cynicism, but it is even more passive. Emotional disengagement is often associated with burnout. It involves low levels of effort investment. It is often described as “going through the motions” or “mailing it in.” The behavior can involve mindlessly repeating lessons one may have taught dozens of times, letting expectations slip, and feeling bored. Students quickly sense when emotional disengagement becomes a pattern and often scale back their investment in effort in response.    

Counter habit: Focus on being present and creating moments that matter. Vary routines and explore new approaches.  

Assuming negative intentions. When students behave in unacceptable ways, refuse to commit to performing at their best, or fail to persist in the face of challenges, this habit assigns blame and metes out criticism. Rather than investigating the cause of the behavior, the conclusion is that the student chose to misbehave, was lazy, or did not care. Student behavior can result from a variety of factors, including some over which the student may have little or no control. Unfortunately, hastily drawn negative conclusions and unfounded blame often lead to emotional separation, resentment, and even reduced effort in the future.  

Counter habit: Replace immediate conclusions with curiosity. Pause and inquire before deciding. Separate student behavior from their identity.  

Excessive hurrying. We may feel as though we must rush to do all that is asked and expected of us. We might feel pressure to hurry through units or a series of lessons. We might find ourselves rushing through our reviews of student work and pressuring students to move faster in their learning. Unfortunately, pressing can mean superficial instruction and learning. Feedback to students may be perfunctory and generic. Students may feel that complete understanding and deep learning are not priorities. Unfortunately, the habit of rushing teaching and learning processes can exact a high price in missed learning.  

Counter habit: Think purposeful pacing over coverage. Focus on understanding, retention, and transfer over exposure. Remember: If it is worth doing, it is worth doing well.  

Habits can be helpful for instilling good practices and useful routines. However, they can also get in the way of what we want from our work and life. We need to be certain that they help us to think and grow, not become barriers to achieving what we want for ourselves and others in our lives.

One of the most rewarding aspects of teaching is hearing from former students about the profound and lasting impact we have had on their lives. They might describe a characteristic or value we demonstrated and instilled in them, emphasize the impact of a special project or challenge we presented that convinced them of what they could achieve, or they might tell us of how really seeing and believing in them and their potential gave them confidence to shift their perspective and aspire to more than they had imagined possible. The list could go on.  

However, it all begs the question: What is it that we do that can have such a life-changing, lifelong impact? We may not see or understand the influence we have on some students in real time. We might never know our impact on others. Yet, we have the opportunity every day, every week, and every year to change students’ lives and give them access to possibilities that never would have occurred to them without spending time with and learning from us.  

So, what are some of the most impactful behaviors in which teachers engage that hold the potential to change lives? Here are five behaviors people point to when describing educators whose imprint shifted the trajectory of their lives.  

“Seeing” students. Students want to feel seen. They seek reassurance that they are worthy and matter. For students who often do not feel seen, the experience can make an outsized difference. Having teachers greet them by name, be interested in and remember details about their lives, and notice when something is bothering or distracting them communicates the message that “You matter to me.” Being truly seen can be enough to carry students through a difficult time and give them confidence to keep on keeping on. 

Believing in students. All students want teachers who believe in them, but for students who do not yet believe in themselves, the experience can be transforming. Having an important person in their lives see potential they have not considered or believed they possess opens new possibilities and freedom to dream. When students do not yet believe in themselves, a teacher’s confidence can serve as borrowed confidence until they do. When students feel the confidence of a trusted adult, they can aspire to high standards, knowing they can succeed.  

Being fully present for students. Having someone’s full attention and commitment to understand can be a rare and precious gift, especially for students with few caring adults in their lives. Students remember teachers who were mentally in sync with them rather than rushed, distracted, or detached. Teachers who are ready to listen, engage, and assist are important and appreciated, especially when students are facing life challenges, confused, or in crisis.  

Refusing to give up on students. Teachers who remain committed, nudge students to do their best, and always get better matter to students. Students can become discouraged, convinced they cannot succeed, and may even want to abandon the struggle altogether. Often, it is a teacher who refuses to believe that success is not possible, insists on continued effort, suggests different strategies and approaches, and encourages students to persist until success is achieved. Memories of these struggles and pride in the outcome can build lifelong gratitude.  

Modeling integrity and grace for students. Students notice when a teacher’s words match their actions—or when they don’t. Authenticity creates credibility. Students want to be confident that what a teacher tells them is what the teacher believes and lives. Students notice how teachers behave under pressure. Times of crisis, conflict, and drama are times when students pay particular attention to teacher behavior. Grace under pressure makes an impact. Calmness during emotional storms creates emotional and psychological safety and engenders confidence. Students often aspire to emulate the models of integrity and grace they were exposed to early in life.  

The truth is that we have more influence on students’ lives than we realize. Unfortunately, we are unlikely to know the full impact we have had on the aspirations, achievements, and life views of most students we have taught and nurtured. However, if all or most of these five behaviors are part of our approach to students and our work, we can be confident that our influence is wide and profound for an inestimable number of students.