The Master Teacher Blog

The Master Teacher Blog
Providing you, the K-12 leader, with the help you need to lead with clarity, credibility, and confidence in a time of enormous change.
Eight Messages Students Want to Hear (and Feel) From Us

Eight Messages Students Want to Hear (and Feel) From Us

As human beings, we often internalize how we are treated, and our students are no exception. While the intensity with which students seek evidence and reassurance of our relationship with them may vary, all students want to know that they matter to us, that we are attentive to their needs, and that we want them to succeed. Even students who may seem to resist our influence and reject our guidance want to be connected and included. These students may be carrying negative past experiences that make it more difficult to make connections and gain trust with adults in their life. It is crucial to not give up on making these connections and continue attempting to forge a relationship with these students, even when it doesn’t seem possible.

It is also true that much of what we communicate to students about our feelings toward and perceptions of them are not scripted and often are not even consciously demonstrated. Yet, students watch, feel, analyze, and interpret our words and actions to discern where they can find reassurance, protection, and connectedness. Let’s examine eight ways that we communicate to students what they mean to us, what we think about them, and what our actions and intentions say to them:

  • Noticing. A greeting at the school or classroom door, an authentic and personal smile, or fist bump can send an unmistakable message that students are noticed and they count. These seemingly small gestures can have an outsized impact on how students feel about us and about themselves.
  • Respect. Regularly calling students by name, listening to what they have to say, sharing their victories and empathizing with their struggles tell students that they are worthy and have our respect. When students feel respected, they are more likely to show respect in return. 
  • Safety. When we establish and consistently enforce reasonable rules, refuse to tolerate hurtful teasing and harassment, and otherwise attend to students’ physical and emotional safety, we free students to be themselves. We make it safe to participate and take learning risks. When we create an environment that students feel is safe, we set the stage for everything else we want to accomplish.
  • Caring. While noticing is important, caring goes the next step to inquire, listen, and act.  A question or comment when students may not be feeling well or are having a bad day, offering to do something to help, and even stepping up to advocate for a student who needs adult support can create a significant, lifelong impression on a student who feels lost and helpless.
  • Belonging. When we build a classroom community, encourage respect and inclusion, and step in when students are shunned and ignored. It is important to assure students that they are welcomed and belong. Students who may lack social skills, come from backgrounds from other students, and otherwise may struggle to fit in can be especially aware to whether they have a place and feel connected to the class. These students often appreciate our attention and actions more than we know.
  • Confidence. “I know you can do it”, “I have seen you find your way through difficult challenges before”, and “I believe in you” are all powerful statements when students hear them from us. Feeling our confidence can make the difference between giving up and persisting in the face of difficult learning or life challenge for students. Students do not always believe in themselves. Our confidence may be exactly what they need to feel to find their way through.
  • Positive presumptions. Assuming that students are well-intended, trying to do the right thing, or simply made a poor choice when they made a mistake or behave inappropriately can send a powerful message about what we think of them and the behavior we expect from them. Giving students “the benefit of the doubt” reassures students that we view them as more likely to act positively than engage in mischief. Assuming that students are trying to meet our expectations encourages positive behavior. Assuming that students are purposely misbehaving risks encouraging them to validate our negative assumptions.
  • Forgiveness. When we give students a fresh start after a bad day and avoid rehashing yesterday’s conflict or reminding students of past disappointments, we signal to students that we are focused on what today will bring. They do not have to fear retribution or uncomfortable reminders from the past. We free students to face forward and do their best without being hampered by guilt and regret.

Taken together, these eight connecting and confidence building behaviors can have a powerful impact on how our students feel and behave. However, this is not necessarily an all-inclusive list. What behaviors would you add to reassure and connect with students?

Debate: What if We Refused to Assume That Students Are Lazy?

Debate: What if We Refused to Assume That Students Are Lazy?

Refusing to assume that students are lazy may seem like a preposterous proposition. If we apply the common definition of laziness to the behavior of some students—procrastination, taking shortcuts, failing to follow through—we might conclude that there is a perfect match. However, labeling a student as lazy has some serious downsides.

Once we decide that a student is lazy, we often feel that there is no need to search further to understand their behavior. Yet, what we are seeing may be the result of a variety of factors, pressures, and circumstances. We also risk blaming the student for a problem that may not be their fault.

Laziness is often assumed to be a character trait, but no scientific research identifies laziness as an element of someone’s character. Further, punishing laziness does not make students more motivated, conscientious, or committed to learning. The behaviors of procrastination—taking short cuts and a lack of follow-through—may look like laziness, but they may be the result of something that is addressable and fixable. Labeling students as lazy cuts off the need to inquire, blames the student, and may allow us to feel that we do not have to do more.

On the other hand, if we refuse to assume laziness as the cause of student behavior, we open the door to ask some important questions: What is driving the behavior? What about the task associated with the behavior may be contributing to the conduct? Is there something else going on that drives the behavior we are observing?

We also might ask: What are the consequences of being wrong? If we assume the student is lazy and there is something else at play that is holding the student back, we will have squandered an opportunity to make a difference. We may also brand the student in ways that become self-fulfilling prophecy. If we assume the student is not lazy, when they actually are, we can still learn more about the student, uncover possible ways to make them less lazy, and we may even plant some seeds that take root and grow in the future.

So, what opportunities lie in refusing to assume that students are lazy?

  • We move from blaming the student’s character to exploring what may be causing the behavior.
  • We look beyond the student’s behavior and try to learn and understand the back story of their choices.
  • We move from making assumptions about the student toward understanding their perspective, experience, and life circumstances.
  • We lessen our focus on compliance and look for ways to make and strengthen our connection with the student.
  • We become less occupied with punishing and more focused on problem-solving.
  • We leverage the power of our positive assumptions to lift our expectations and strengthen our support.

We may discover that some difficult realities underlie what appears to be laziness. The student may lack underlying skills that need to be strengthened. They may fail to see relevance or challenge in what we are asking them to learn. They may have failed so many times that they lack confidence in their potential to succeed. They may fear what friends would think if they began to behave as though they care. Of course, the list of learning-related challenges could go on. Yet, these are issues about which we can usually do something to make the situation better and increase opportunities for success.

We may also find that what is causing the behavior lies beyond the student’s experience in school and our ability to intervene. We may need to enlist the efforts and support of others in the student’s life. We might need to recruit professionals within and beyond the school to intervene and provide support. While we may not be able to solve these issues, our interest, concern, and support can make a determinative difference to the student and lead to shifts in behavior and a stronger relationship with us.

It may seem that laziness is straightforward behavior. However, upon examination, there is often much more to the situation than first appears. Only when we go beyond making assumptions and drawing conclusions are we able to understand, intervene, and make the difference that can change a life.

Five Biases That Haunt Our Classrooms

Five Biases That Haunt Our Classrooms

Conversations about bias are not new, but there has been a more recent trend addressing the implicit biases that we develop naturally through the experiences we have, the experiences we don’t have, how we interpret our experiences, and what we learn from others. Biases influence what we believe about people and what happens to and around us. They influence our expectations, interpretations, and interactions with others, including our students.

Biases are invisible yet omnipresent. They subtly and persistently influence how we see and engage with our students, and as an extension, they can shape how our students experience learning in our classrooms. Our biases can influence our students’ emotional state and psychological development, and they can hold the potential to undermine our efforts and our students’ learning. Let’s explore five of the most common biases that haunt our classrooms and how we can counter them.

Expectancy bias. Also known as the Pygmalion Effect, this bias allows our perceptions of students’ potential to drive what we expect, how we support, and how we evaluate the work and behavior of students. Multiple research studies have shown this bias to have a significant effect on how well students learn and perform. This may be good news for students whom we perceive to be talented, but it is very bad news for students we perceive as having low potential. Expectancy bias can also influence student behavior. Students whom we perceive as well behaved can more easily be given extra chances and the benefit of the doubt, while students perceived as mischievous, sneaky, or otherwise prone to misbehavior are often blamed and punished more frequently and harshly.

How to counter: We can avoid expectancy bias by having high expectations for all students and not allowing past performance to shape our beliefs about their future potential. We might commit to supporting all students to build their potential. We can also focus on individual student progress rather than comparing the performance of some students to others.

Gender bias. This bias involves different perceptions about female and male students. As examples, girls are assumed to share characteristics such as being more likely to demonstrate good behavior and skills in reading and writing but not being as likely to demonstrate strong skills in math and science. Boys are seen as more prone to mischief and leadership roles and not as strong in communication and relationships. While there may be some natural gender-related tendencies present, girls and boys share more characteristics than not. Girls commonly demonstrate strengths and interests often attributed to boys, and boys often excel in areas that are perceived to favor girls.

How to counter: We can start by being conscious of the language we use, the assumptions we make, and the behaviors we practice that reinforce gender labels. We might make it a point to balance opportunities for participation, responsibilities, and leadership. Further, we can encourage and support students—regardless of gender—to enroll and excel in a wide variety of academic and career-related subjects.

Stereotype bias. Socioeconomic status, ethnic background, race, and other factors can play a role in how we see and interact with our students. We may hold lower expectations for these students’ learning and expose them to less rigorous curricular content. We may make negative assumptions about their likely behavior and commitment to learning. We may even press them less to perform than we do for other students.

How to counter: We can regularly check ourselves and our beliefs to be certain that we are not expecting or supporting these students’ learning less than that of our other students. We can focus on each student as an individual, value their strengths, and support their growth. We also need to review instructional materials and resources to avoid reinforcing stereotypes and to ensure positive models for learning.

Affinity bias. We sometimes encounter students with whom we feel a stronger than usual sense of connection. We may share similar personalities, backgrounds, interests, or even certain life challenges. Even without consciously deciding to do so, we can give these students more attention, encouragement, support, and positive feedback than other students. While the students who experience our affinity may benefit, other students often pick up on what they see as favoritism. As a result, they can feel unseen, ignored, or even disliked, and those can lead to feelings of resentment; meanwhile, the student who is the object of our affinity can experience separation, teasing, and jealousy from classmates.

How to counter: Being aware of our feelings and the consequence of showing favoritism is a good start. We might also be careful to provide equitable feedback and attention to all students. We could even go as far as collecting data on our interactions to ensure an equitable distribution exists among all students.

Confirmation bias. When we have a preferred approach or have done something in a certain way for some time, we can assume that it is the best way to do it, even when there is evidence that other approaches work better, at least in some circumstances. Equally challenging, when trying alternative approaches and strategies, we can find ourselves paying closest attention to information that supports what we expect rather than objectively evaluating evidence. Confirmation bias can leave us clinging to practices that are not effective or that are not as effective as other options and approaches.

How to counter: Commit to having current practices prove themselves. Start with an expectation that a different approach might be better, and collect evidence in an attempt to prove it. Allow the evidence, rather than pre-existing beliefs, to determine the outcome. However, be certain to practice the alternative approach long enough to become proficient before making a judgment.

Biases can be destructive, but they are not inevitable—and we are not helpless to them. We can educate and equip ourselves to understand and overcome their presence and their impact. Our commitment to our students can be the motivating force.

What To Do About Students We Just Don’t Like

What To Do About Students We Just Don’t Like

We know the power of strong, positive student relationships. When students are confident that we like and care about them, they are more likely to listen to what we say, comply with what we ask, and strive to meet the expectations we set. In addition, with positive relationships, our level of stress goes down, we have more energy to focus on our work, and we feel more confident in trying new strategies, even if they may not initially be perfect.

Yet, the truth is that there are students with whom we may not connect, who press our buttons, and who we may just simply not like very much. Still, we have a responsibility to accept, support, and care for each student regardless of our private feelings.

The source of our struggle with some students likely varies depending on circumstance and the individual student. Researchers point to at least four potential causes of when we find ourselves challenged to like someone, in this case a student.

The student may remind us of someone else. Our relationship and experience with the other person can color our perceptions about and feelings toward the student. This phenomenon is known as transference. Often, we are not even aware of the presence of transference. When we experience strong negative feelings about a student that are not directly connected to any specific behavior, we need to stop and ask ourselves what is happening and whether our assumptions and perceptions may be playing a role.

We also may be responding to signals we are receiving from the student indicating that they do not like us. Consequently, we may find ourselves not liking the student in return. Unfortunately, our responding in kind will make the situation worse. The student may feel they have reason to dislike us even more, and we will face even greater challenges in building a positive and productive relationship.

We may be reacting to our own life experience. We may have grown up in a family where certain behaviors and attitudes were strongly rejected, or we might have experienced harsh treatment and learned to manage our responses in ways that allowed us to avoid disapproval and other negative responses. Now, as adults, we can harbor feelings and expectations that have roots in our experiences during childhood and adolescence. When students behave in a manner that is not consistent with what we were taught as “proper,” we may struggle to relate to and understand them.

We may be projecting feelings about ourselves. We might struggle to manage our own anger, and consequently, we may respond with greater emotion to a student who fails to control their anger. Or we may have grown up in a family that struggled financially, and as a result, we might find it difficult to connect with students whose families have substantial financial resources.

The question, of course, is how we can overcome the relationship barriers we face. Here are five questions to consider when we struggle to form a relationship with a student:

  • What is behind the feelings I am experiencing? Might one of the four challenges discussed above be at play? Is there something about the situation that I must own? Awareness is the first step to finding a productive path forward.
  • What might I be assuming about this student or situation that I need to examine? Is what bothers me valid, or am I projecting my feelings and history on the student? Choosing to assume positive intentions and suspending judgment can open the door to exploring and building a relationship.
  • Is there something about the student with which I can relate? Finding even one aspect of the student we can admire, embrace, support, or nurture can open the door to seeing the student differently.
  • Who seems to have a strong relationship with this student? We can check with colleagues to gain their perspective. It may be that others do not share our perception and can offer valuable insights to help us move beyond our assumptions and projections.
  • What steps might I take to move beyond my feelings about and perceptions of this student? Committing to take on the challenge of forming a relationship can lead to the development of new skills and offer the opportunity to let go of feelings and perceptions that get in the way of this and other relationships.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne W. Dyer

Six Questions Students Want Us to Answer in the First Week

Six Questions Students Want Us to Answer in the First Week

The first days of a new school year are typically filled with anticipation and excitement—and some nervousness. As teachers, we are engaged in a new beginning. We have an agenda and a plan, and we can shape the path that lies ahead.

Students experience many of the same feelings. However, they have less control over what lies ahead and thus feel even more uncertainty about what the experience will be like. Consequently, they come with many questions, even if they may not ask them explicitly.

As we think about the first days of the new year, we might consider the questions students will have so that we can think about how we will answer them in ways that set a positive tone and preview an attractive, meaningful, and reassuring start to their learning journey. Here are six questions we can be sure are on students’ minds and to which they are hoping for answers.

“Is my teacher interested in me?” For students we have not had in the past, the first week of school is too early to have a relationship, but students will be looking for clues to discern whether a positive relationship is likely. Do we greet students as they arrive in our classroom? Do we make eye contact and notice their presence? Is it obvious that we are committed to learning their names? Are we interested in learning something about them?

“Do I feel like I am accepted and belong?” We might plan some community-building activities to help students reconnect with existing friends and discover potential new friends. We can share the classroom behavior norms and rules, including the reasons behind them. Even better, we can engage students in the discussion and development of norms and behavior expectations. When we do, they will be more likely to feel ownership of and accept and abide by what is decided. Remember: Students will be asking themselves whether they can be themselves or if they must monitor and modify their behavior to fit in.

“What is expected of me?” Students are likely to want to know if they will be expected to sit and listen, or if they will be invited and encouraged to contribute ideas, insights, and experiences. Will learning be directed or co-constructed? We can share examples of how we will design and approach learning tasks and challenges. We might share an estimate of how much out-of-class time students should expect to spend on assignments and projects. We should also consider discussing how much background knowledge will be necessary to succeed in this class and how we will help students to fill any knowledge gaps.

“What am I going to learn?” This is a time to “sell” what we intend to teach. Students will likely be asking themselves whether the content sounds interesting and how they might use or benefit from what they will learn. This is a great time to answer the “why” of learning the content and skills we will be introducing and nurturing during the class.

“Can I be successful?” To reduce our new students’ fears of failure, we might share tips and strategies that previous students have found helpful. We can assure students that we expect them to succeed—and believe they will. We might also share with students the supports available should they begin to struggle.

“Is this a class that I will enjoy?” The answer to this question rests on what students have learned from the first five questions. If students feel that we are interested in them and want them to feel accepted, and if they believe that they can participate and be successful, this is likely to be a class to which they will look forward and in which they will invest.

We only have one opportunity to get off to a good start. It is worth the time and effort to think through what students want to know and how we can provide the information and assurance they will be seeking.

When Students Don’t Participate: Where to Look and What to Do

When Students Don’t Participate: Where to Look and What to Do

The disengagement we see from and in our students can take a variety of forms. Students may choose not to volunteer information or respond to our questions. They may not complete assigned work or “complete” it by doing the bare minimum and providing insubstantial responses. They may even actively disengage by putting their head down, putting earbuds in while we are providing instruction, or taking it upon themselves to substitute an activity other than what the rest of the class is doing. Our emotional response to the behavior can range from mild irritation to frustration—even anger. After all, this type of student behavior can slow the momentum of a lesson or even interrupt the flow and focus of what we are trying to accomplish.

Of course, there are many potential reasons for non-participatory behavior, and unless we know what is causing the behavior, we are not likely to be able to correct it. Sometimes we can discover the cause simply through observation. Other times, we need to meet with the student privately and try to initiate a productive dialogue. Or we may have to be content with trying some things and seeing what happens. Here are six of the most common causes of students choosing not to participate, as well as strategies we can use to respond.

Students may fail to understand the relevance and value of what they are being asked to do and learn. It is true that students today are often less patient and compliant than even a few years ago. They want to know how what we are presenting and asking them to learn has a worthy purpose and is relevant to their lives. When they fail to see a relevant reason for learning, many choose not to invest in it. As educators, we may be quick to take the position that all learning is valuable and that students should choose to learn simply because it is expected of them. While this approach may have been effective in the past, for many students, it is no longer a persuasive argument. Students often ask, “Why should I?” or “How will I even use this?” In our responses, we can start by sharing the purpose and utility of what we are asking them to learn. Our approach may need to be proactive and explicit in that we might not always wait for students to ask “Why?” before answering that very question. We may occasionally even challenge students to make connections between what they learn in class and their personal lives. Of course, not everything students are asked to learn may be immediately relevant to them, but frequent, authentic connections can reduce the need for students to always seek the task’s immediate purpose. It can also increase the likelihood of sparking interest and stimulating participation.

Many students want more autonomy. Some students automatically push back when they feel that their behavior is firmly directed or overtly forced. Others may minimally comply but still feel a lack of ownership of their work. These students need another approach. We can sidestep many of these issues by offering multiple options or choices for completing the work and demonstrating understanding. Authentic choice can increase student effort, lift the level of their performance, and build their learning. For example, among the choice options we might offer for engagement and proof of learning are demonstrations, 3D renderings, debates, music, drawing, and even coding.

For a significant number of students, refusal to participate is driven by fear of failure. Studies have shown that as much as 20% of classroom misbehavior can be linked to fear or expectations of failure. Students often choose not to participate, to misbehave, or to engage in other off-task behavior to avoid the risk and embarrassment of not being successful after a genuine attempt. For these students, the consequences of misbehavior are often seen as less painful than being revealed as unable to succeed. We can counter some of that fear of failure by giving students foundational, low-stakes opportunities to engage and succeed. Over time, a pattern of success can give students the confidence to take greater learning risks. We can also find success with these students when we focus on feedback that helps them to connect their efforts to growing success. Delaying the assignment of grades to student work as long as possible can also free these students to take learning risks without the distraction of the grade they will receive.

Some students choose not to participate because of feelings of isolation and lack of belonging. The absence of social connections and sense of support from other students can be a significant barrier to participation; the source of these feelings may be the lack of social status, absence of friendships, or even a student’s personal appearance and characteristics that drive a wedge with other students. Feelings of isolation and separation can be even stronger if teasing, shaming, bullying, or laughing are allowed responses to lack of success. We can counter much of what these students experience by establishing and enforcing norms of respect and acceptance. We can also design activities that give students opportunities to make personal connections and form friendships that might not exist outside of our class.

There may be students who choose not to participate due to that absence of a relationship with us. Some students are challenging for us to connect with. Some students may have a history with teachers, or adults in general, that leave them reluctant to even want to form a relationship, let alone try. However, when we fail to connect with our students, we lose access to a powerful motivational force. Students generally want to please adults who care about them—and whom they care about. They are more likely to participate, even take risks, if they know that we have their back and will be ready to support, encourage, and coach them to success. When a relationship is missing, students are more likely to let things go, fail to invest, and maybe even disrupt the learning environment for disruption’s sake. As difficult as it may be, and as long as it takes, we need to do all that we can to form and nurture positive relationships with our students.

For a growing number of students, failure to engage and participate is driven by factors outside of school. For these students, stress, worry, and family disruption can make the ability to focus on and commit to academics a stretch. When students are not certain where they will be sleeping or eating that evening, when they anticipate disruption and chaos at home, and when they may even fear for their personal safety, school can be a secondary concern at most. Sometimes, the best we can do is get to know our students and understand what they are facing. We can make our classroom a safe, predictable, stable space in their lives. It may be that just communicating our understanding will be an influential counterweight to help our students engage and learn despite what else is happening in their lives.

We know that unless students choose to participate in the learning activities and experiences we design, learning is likely to be compromised. Understanding why students may be reluctant to engage is a crucial first step in countering the behavior and opening the door to full participation and learning success. Once we know why, we can use our experience and expertise to plan how to respond.

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Five Underappreciated Benefits of Strong Student Relationships

Five Underappreciated Benefits of Strong Student Relationships

The importance of having strong, positive relationships with our students is unsurprising and universally accepted. Naturally, our work is more fulfilling when we spend our days with students about whom we care—and who care about us in return. Yet, the significance and utility of strong student relationships goes beyond simply feeling connected to and comfortable with our students.

In fact, the relationships we build with our students position us to influence them in multiple ways and allow them to make our work more impactful. Here are five accessible areas of influence strong student relationships create.

“Nudge muscle”: Some of the most potent opportunities to influence our students’ thinking, behavior, and decisions are found outside of formal requests or directives. Sometimes students may need a nudge, rather than a push. Not unlike a mother bird whose offspring is ready to fly but reluctant to leave the nest, a gentle nudge may be all that is needed. When we have nurtured strong, caring relationships with students, they become tuned in to what we have to say and what it means for them. Our influence might take the form of a little nudge to help students take the next step or make a timely decision. A quiet suggestion, a nuanced observation, or a seemingly offhand question can have an outsized influence when students trust us and care about what we say and think.

Expectation impact: Expectations can have a powerful influence on students’ aspirations, efforts, and commitments, but only when they are anchored in caring and encouraging relationships. Unfortunately, in the absence of a relationship, expectations can be ignored or even become points of resistance. Our expectations reflect the confidence we have in the potential of our students; when students know that we care and have faith in them, our expectations can have a potent impact.

Advice access: For a variety of reasons, students are often wary of the advice they receive from adults. However, when students know that we truly want the best for them and when we have developed a trusting relationship, we can gain access to the ability to give advice that is actually heard. The impact of our advice may not always be obvious or immediate, but the absence of visible action or reaction does not mean that we have not been heard or that our advice will not be heeded. In fact, advice given in these circumstances can often have a lifelong impact, subtle or not.

Modeling traction: Much of what we want to teach our students cannot be found in the curriculum and may never appear on a formal assessment. These lessons come in the form of modeling. What we say, what we do not say, how we act, how we react, what we embrace, and what we reject are carefully observed by students, especially when students feel connected to and cared for by us. We can be surprised when students use our words, adopt our thinking, or aspire to be like us, but we should not be. They are, after all, just responding to our modeling.

Misstep tolerance: Teaching is also a learning profession; in other words, the role of a teacher is also to be a learner. Learning new techniques and approaches keeps our practice fresh and helps us to respond to the changing needs of our students. Yet, learning and practicing new skills can be risky. Attempting something new can mean that we will occasionally make mistakes. However, when we have developed strong, supportive, trusting relationships with our students, mistakes can be quickly forgiven and forgotten, and missteps can be corrected without shame and embarrassment.

Forming solid relationships with students can take time and, at times, be challenging. However, relationships can make the difference between wondering if we are “getting through” and actually seeing our influence take root and blossom in the lives of our students.

Remind Students They Matter: Ten Actions to Take

Remind Students They Matter: Ten Actions to Take

We know that students try harder, persist longer, and are more successful when they feel valued and accepted. Some students enjoy popularity among their peers and naturally feel as though they fit in. Some students gain acceptance through academic success. Still others may excel in the arts, athletics, or other areas.

However, success does not always translate into feeling a sense of value and belonging, especially in the classroom. What we say, how we relate, and the messages we send to students matter, regardless of students’ stature in other contexts.

In fact, we send hundreds—maybe thousands—of messages every day that students perceive and interpret in order to understand whether they matter and belong in our eyes. In innumerable small ways, we communicate what we think, how we feel, and what—and who—we value.

Unfortunately, what we communicate is not always intentional or even a conscious action on our part. We can develop habits that stand in the way of our communicating to students that they matter, and we can overlook opportunities to communicate to students how much we value them.

Now is a good time to take a few minutes to reflect on how we convince students that they are important to us and that they matter. Here are ten elements we can use to get started.

First, notice and greet students. Whether when they enter the classroom, when you pass them in the hallway, or when you encounter them at activities or in the community, noticing students matters. Greeting students by name, supported by a smile, can mean more than we realize.

Second, make eye contact. When listening to and speaking with students, we can be distracted by the task at hand or what we need to do next. Stopping what we are doing, making eye contact, and giving our full attention communicates respect and attentiveness. When students experience that attentiveness, they understand that they matter.

Third, be courteous. Saying “please,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” and other common courtesies may seem obvious, but in our hurried and pressured world, we can forget that students are as worthy of our respect as any adults with whom we interact. Showing respect tells students they matter.

Fourth, be quick to say “I’m sorry.” It may not seem like much, but when we are willing to admit our mistakes, take responsibility, and apologize to students, we communicate that they matter enough for us to want to make things right with them.

Fifth, assume good intentions. What we believe about students has an impact on how we interpret what they say and do. If we choose to think that students are well intended and typically do not want to misbehave or even be disrespectful, we are likely to inquire and explore rather than accuse or criticize. Starting with a premise of positivity reduces the need for students to defend themselves or push back.

Sixth, treat missteps, mistakes, and errors as opportunities for learning. Some of the most powerful learning in life comes in response to mistakes and even failure. We tell students they matter when we respond to missteps and mistakes with inquiry and instruction rather than shame and punishment.

Seventh, explain the “why” of learning. When students understand why they are asked to learn and how what they learn will be useful, they are more likely to invest in learning. Meanwhile, taking time to engage students in the reasons for and value of learning communicates respect and valuing.

Eighth, refuse to give up when students struggle. Students are often quick to give up on themselves when learning is not easy. They may have a history of struggle and assume that they are not capable of learning challenging things. Our patience, persistence, and belief that they will succeed can send a strong message that they are valuable and capable.

Ninth, be curious. Students come with a variety of experiences, backgrounds, and family circumstances. Showing interest in who students are beyond inhabitants of our classroom sends a message of worth. Further, the more we know about students, the better able we are to make connections and help them find relevance in what they are learning.

Tenth, search for students’ gifts and talents. Some students may excel in academic areas. Others may be talented artists or athletes. Still others may be gifted leaders. However, every student has a potential gift. When we are “tuned in” to the talents students may possess—including talents beyond the obvious—and help them to discover and develop what makes them special, we send a message that students can become more than they are and might imagine.

Some students require little convincing and reassurance that they matter and fit in. Others need to hear explicitly and consistently that our classroom is a place where they are valued and included. Fortunately, we hold the power to make our classroom a place where everyone can belong and feel safe.

I’m Shy! I Need Support, Not Pressure

I’m Shy! I Need Support, Not Pressure

Each student who enters our classroom has unique characteristics and needs that deserve our attention. However, exceptionally shy students can present a special type of challenge. They often experience barriers to engaging in some of the most important learning activities, including discussion, debate, and even verbally answering questions. In response, we must be thoughtful and intentional as we endeavor to engage and instruct these learners.

Shy students reveal themselves in a variety of ways. They typically offer nonverbal clues such as the lack of eye contact or choosing to physically isolate, and they often slump while keeping their arms close to their bodies, as though they are trying to occupy as little physical space as possible. They may have few friends and not initiate conversations with other students. In class, they may rarely, if ever, volunteer to participate or be reluctant to answer a direct question in front of a group. They sometimes also adopt perfectionist tendencies, fearing that a misstep will draw unwelcomed attention.

However, it is a mistake to assume that shy students are not bright or capable of finding success. Shyness can mask intellect and hide curiosity. Our challenge is to help these students develop the courage, habits, and skills to overcome, or at least manage, their shyness.  

Yet, unless we are intentional in our efforts to support the learning and growth of shy students, we can make costly mistakes. Our failure to attend to the needs of shy students can have immediate consequences and long-term implications for their mental health and learning. Here are five of the most common mistakes educators make when teaching timid students and suggestions for how to avoid or overcome them.

The first mistake is failing to make expectations clear. Uncertainty can be a major source of anxiety for shy students. Structure, on the other hand, can provide comfort and reassurance. Having standard procedures and established routines provides shy students with a sense of what they can expect, how they might protect themselves, and how they can engage safely with learning and the class. Class norms for participation, interaction, listening, and respect can increase both the comfort and the confidence of shy students.

A second mistake is putting the spotlight on shy students in front of the rest of the class. Using shy students as examples, comparing their behavior to other more outgoing students, or even having them respond to a question without prior warning or preparation can generate fear and ignite panic. Rather than making them more confident, these experiences can further deepen their anxiety and make them even more fearful. Our actions can also place our relationship with these students at risk. Unexpectedly asking a timid student to do something well outside of their comfort level can feel uncaring, hurtful, and even cruel. As an alternative, we might meet with the student in advance and discuss what we want them to do and coach their readiness. In extreme cases, we might even rehearse with the student what they could say and do.

Third is failing to provide a safe path to build engagement and participation. Asking timid students to take big risks can backfire. For some students, the consequences for doing nothing are preferable to the prospect of having to speak or perform in front of an audience, even when the audience is made up of classmates. Rather, we might offer smaller, incremental steps that present manageable risk and exposure. Our coaching, encouragement, and reinforcement can help to build confidence and make the next steps easier and feel less risky.

A fourth misstep is ignoring opportunities for shy students to demonstrate their learning in more than one way. Some students who are reluctant to speak in front of a group might enthusiastically and articulately present what they have learned by writing about it. In some cases, shy students might be willing to demonstrate a process or procedure but would be reluctant to verbally describe it. Of course, there are times when the learning goal involves verbal descriptions and public speaking. When this is the case, we need to provide the scaffolding and support necessary to move shy students toward the objective without making the risk so high that we lose them.

Fifth is assigning shy students to groups without considering the dynamics. Placing shy students with certain peers may increase their anxiety and sense of isolation. They can become overwhelmed by the pressure and behavior of more active, social extroverts. Where possible, we might include at least one other student who is sensitive and will likely be supportive of a shy student. We also might assign specific roles aligned with the purpose of the group activity and take into account the personalities of group members. Of course, establishing clear norms for group operation and participation can provide important structure and reassurance for students who might otherwise become lost.

Teaching shy students can be a challenge, but it also can offer great rewards. The opportunity to watch a student emerge from their “shell,” build new confidence, and experience the opportunities that full engagement with life can bring is not to be missed. Equally rewarding is that we know we played a role in making this transformation happen.

Your Personal Power: The Secret Sauce of Teaching Success

Your Personal Power: The Secret Sauce of Teaching Success

When we assume the role of teacher in a school and school district, we are granted several formal powers upon which we can draw. Because we represent the institution, we have the power to administer campus policies, uphold formal standards, and enforce institutional rules. In addition, our role as a teacher empowers us to establish classroom rules, create structures, develop procedures, assign tasks, evaluate progress and performance, determine grades, and perform other actions.

However, formal sources of power, as strong as they may be, have limits; relying too heavily on them can, in fact, undermine our effectiveness and even work against our goals of inspiring students, creating a positive learning environment, convincing students to persist, and positioning them to find meaning in their learning. Meanwhile, today’s students are less likely than previous generations to grant status and give deference to educators based on the formal role those educators play and the power granted to them by the institution.

Gaining the compliance, cooperation, and commitment of students today requires understanding, developing, and tapping a second set of powers. These powers are less formal and more relationship based, but they are ultimately far more powerful than the powers granted by the institution.

These informal powers come naturally to some people and are more challenging for others. Most of them can be developed with time and practice, even when they initially do not feel natural. Others may fit best for teachers with certain personalities and preferences. The truth is that we do not need to employ all these sources of power at once—or ever, even. The key is to be ourselves and tap the powers that fit who we are and how we choose to engage with our students.

Let’s explore five sources of influence that are not granted by our position, yet they have the potential to stimulate learning, build strong relationships, and even ignite lifelong aspirations for our students.

The first is credibility. Credibility comes from a deep knowledge of content, lived experience, and teaching expertise. Teachers with credibility can break down learning tasks, provide useful hints, and share effective strategies. They are quick to provide real-world examples and make interesting and useful connections. In doing so, they may share personal experiences and add meaningful context, and they can provide clear examples and explain implications related to what students are learning.

The second power is culture building. Teachers who tap this power create a sense of belonging for all students by cultivating mutual respect, establishing clear norms, and demanding inclusivity. Students in their classes often feel as though they are a part of something bigger than themselves. Students may even feel as though they are part of a team that supports everyone’s learning. As a result, students experience less isolation, reduced conflict, and strong connections.

The third informal power is charisma. Teachers who tap the power of charisma project confidence, passion, and energy. They often seem bigger than life and are the leaders whom students naturally want to follow. These teachers often have a rich sense of humor and may be fun-loving and playful. They demonstrate high levels of emotional intelligence. Of course, not everyone may be a performer, but being authentic, optimistic, and confident can go a long way in building charisma.

The fourth source of informal power is connections. The power of connections can be seen in strong positive relationships with students and others, relationships typically based on caring, knowing, helping, understanding, and supporting students. These teachers believe in individual potential and are strong advocates for students’ needs and interests. Meanwhile, they are attuned to emotions, needs, and hopes. Careful listening is a central source of their influence. Consequently, they can more successfully navigate challenges and manage conflicts.

The fifth source is creativity. Teachers who tap this source of informal power are flexible and adaptable, quick to adjust to unique needs of students. They offer choices and other opportunities for students to experience empowerment, and they respond to the unexpected without losing sight of important goals. They may be skilled at improvisation, and often, they find humor in the absurd and ridiculous.

Without a doubt, success as a teacher requires the support that comes with formal, positional power. However, formal power is rarely enough to sustain our success. It is our access to our own informal influence that allows us to find sustainable success with students and nurture their learning in the face of inevitable challenges.