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Need to Vent? Here Are Some Things to Consider

Venting of emotions is much like the release valve on a pressure cooker. Without venting, our crankiness and crabbiness build, collaboration suffers, and conflicts grow more frequent and intense. Releasing frustration and emotional pressure can keep our emotions from spilling over, leading to meltdowns, and eventually burning out.

The sources of frustration, pressure, or distraction can vary. We may just be having a bad day. Someone who knows how to “push our buttons” may be pushing them. We may be struggling to implement a new classroom routine or employ a new strategy. Regardless, we need to let off some emotional steam. Holding it in may work for a while, but holding in frustration can create even more problems.

When we need to vent, it usually is best to find an opportunity and an outlet. Here are some options to consider:

Seek out a trusted colleague, mentor, friend, or family member. Having someone who is willing to just listen can allow us to talk about what’s bothering us.
Capture thoughts, record emotions, and explore solutions by journaling. Writing about what is bothering us can help us to think through the situation and find some release without worrying about what we have said.
Take a walk or engage in other physical activities. Exercise can be an effective way to channel our emotions and dissipate emotional pressure.
Engage in meditation or mindfulness activities. Calming our thoughts and consciously releasing the tension we feel can relax our minds and bodies.
Do something creative. Tapping our creativity can release emotions without having to put them into words. Engaging in a favorite hobby, painting, or playing an instrument might be helpful. Writing poetry, a short story, or even composing a song can help us to explore and express what we are feeling.
Find a reason to laugh. Humor can be a surprisingly effective way to release tension. Humor can also help us to gain distance from our problem and provide a less intense way to release the pressure we feel.
Yell or scream where no one can hear you. A pillow can be a great receptacle for our verbal outbursts. Open spaces with no one around or even driving alone in a car can be a safe place to shout and release our tension and frustration.

While venting can feel good and release intense emotions, we need to observe some cautions. Here are some things to keep in mind:

If venting to someone, we need to be sure they understand that we are venting, not trying to solve a problem.
We need to be careful about venting to students, parents, and others about issues over which they have no control. They often do not fully understand our context and may feel awkward. We need to maintain our professionalism despite our frustration.
It is best to avoid over-venting. Repeated venting on the same topic, or with the same person can strain relationships.
We need to think about how our words and emotions might impact others. Becoming overly personal or accusatory based solely on emotion can create long-term damage to relationships and reputations.

Sometimes venting is enough to release emotions and let go of what is bothering us. At other times, venting might provide momentary relief, but frustrations remain. When we feel prolonged frustration, we may need to go beyond just venting. We might ask ourselves:

What are some reasonable, realistic solutions?
What have I tried and what else might lead to a solution?
Who can solve the problem or change the situation?
What would it take to make the situation better?
Who else seems to be experiencing similar frustrations and how might we partner to find a solution?

Finally, there may be times when we find that our need to vent is constant, problems begin to feel unsolvable, or we frequently feel overwhelmed. This may be a point where we need to consult a professional who can help us to gain a better perspective, find some more effective emotional outlets, or make some changes that lead to less frustration, greater satisfaction and a happier outlook.

October 15, 2025

Eight Strategies to Change the Behavior of Frequently Absent Students

It's no secret that student attendance in the aftermath of the pandemic is a bigger challenge than before. Obviously, there are many reasons why students might be absent more frequently. Yet, regardless of why students are absent, we want them to feel welcome and connected. We also want them to learn and succeed. When they do, their attendance is likely to improve.

On the other hand, if students feel disconnected, that their presence does not matter, or that they cannot succeed, the frequency of their absences is likely to increase. Unfortunately, unless we communicate our interest, find ways to help students feel they belong, and continue to invest in their learning, the situation is likely to become worse, not better.

Of course, frequently absent students are a challenge. They create more work for us. They typically struggle to keep up. And their absences can feel like rejection, lack of motivation, and absence of commitment. As a result, our relationship with frequently absent students can become strained and weakened. We can even feel resentful.

Still, we need to remember that we are dealing with children and adolescents. They may have developed poor habits. They may be facing life challenges and barriers of which we are not aware. They may doubt whether they can succeed or whether they are valued and accepted.

We may not be able to change students’ circumstances or control their behavior, but we can communicate that we care about them, the importance of their presence, and our confidence in and support for their success. When we do, we can have more influence on their behavior than we assume. Consider these strategies to assure frequently absent students that they belong, they are missed when they are absent, and we want them to succeed:

Reinforce that their presence is noticed and valued. We can make it a priority to greet students warmly when they return and assure them that they were missed.
Provide updates using inclusive language. Subtly remind students that they are part of the class. Rather than saying, “Here is what you missed,” we might say, “Here is what we are doing this week.”
Resist drawing attention to absences in front of the class. Develop smooth reentry routines such as resource folders containing information to bring the student up to speed, brief check-ins, and quick group reviews of recent learning.
Remain focused on moving forward. Casting blame and forcing guilt-laden conversations are not likely to make a positive difference in behavior. Concentrate on what can be done now and what’s next.
Create some small wins. Look for opportunities to help students reengage and feel success. Search for what students already know and can build on. Modified tasks, manageable choices, or low-stakes activities can help students to build confidence and reconnect with learning.
Look for opportunities for students to connect with peers. Pairing students with reliable, supportive classmates who share notes, provide updates, and offer encouragement can make a big difference. Inclusion in group projects and discussions that are not heavily dependent on previous class experiences can also help to initiate or reinvigorate social connections.
Build connections beyond academics. Invitations to help with small classroom jobs and responsibilities can foster a sense of belonging. Noticing attendance streaks and improvement efforts can provide important reinforcement. Discussing personal interests and other out of school experiences can communicate caring beyond classroom behavior and experiences.
Stay connected during absences. An email or quick call with a message that the student was missed and that we care can go a long way. “We missed you today” can help students to feel noticed. “I hope everything is okay” tells students we are interested in them.

Without question, frequently absent students can be frustrating and create more work. However, placing blame and harboring resentment accomplishes little. Our efforts are more likely to yield positive results when we focus on making our class a place where students feel noticed, valued, respected, and supported to do their best. When students feel welcomed and that they belong, our efforts to address attendance-related issues become much more productive.

October 09, 2025

Six Ways to Smother Self-Doubt

We want to see ourselves as skilled, resilient, confident professionals. Yet, a tough class, a less-than-successful initiative, or a difficult professional relationship can leave us doubting ourselves. The distraction it can cause for us is less important than how we perceive it. The danger is in the self-doubt we feel.

Self-doubt can also be sneaky. It can creep up on us when we are not expecting it. And it can stay with us longer than we would like. Over time, self-doubt can contribute to our stress, undermine our confidence, leave us feeling reluctant to take risks, and can even damage our health.

Fortunately, there are several steps and strategies we can employ to counter feelings of self-doubt and build our confidence. Consider these six attitude and action adjustments that can replace self-doubt with self-confidence.

Strive to be your best, not perfect. Perfectionism can be a trap. Trying to create flawless lesson plans, build constant student engagement, and form perfect relationships is a recipe for disappointment and doubt. We cannot control all the factors that make a perfect learning experience. On the other hand, deciding to do our best each day and remaining flexible when not everything goes as planned can help us to let go of perfection while continuing to improve and allow us to celebrate even small successes. In the words of John Steinbeck in East of Eden: “And now that you don’t have be perfect, you can be good.”

Resist comparisons to others. We may perceive some colleagues as “having it all together.” They project an attitude of confidence and control. Yet, it is likely that there are areas in which they face challenges too. Be assured that they also experience difficult days, even if we are not aware of them. Instead of making comparisons to them, we can commit to collaborate with them. While we may gain some insights and strategies from them, there are likely ideas and approaches we can share that will help them improve, too.

Reframe negative thoughts and self-talk. What we say to ourselves can have a powerful impact. The more we tell ourselves negative things, the more we are likely to believe them. Yet, we are in control of what we say and think. Shifting negative thoughts into positive affirmations and giving ourselves the support we would want from a valued friend can shift the way we think and feel. We might tell ourselves: “I can do this,” “I have faced and overcome tough things in the past,” and “I have what it takes to succeed.”

Treat mistakes and missteps as opportunities. Dwelling on mistakes and missteps can haunt our thinking and undermine our confidence. We want students to see that mistakes play an important role in learning. The same should be true for us. We are not—nor should we expect to be—perfect. Mistakes and missteps are part of life. Mistakes may point to something we need to learn, and a misstep may be a reminder to pay closer attention. When we commit to learn and improve, we gain value from the experience, not just left with regret.

Set goals and celebrate milestones. Goals can be powerful tools for making progress and building confidence. Setting meaningful, realistic, achievable goals can help us to focus our energy and attention. Achieving even small goals can give us a sense of accomplishment. Over time, the goals we set and achieve can build our confidence and remove doubts about our ability to face and overcome difficult challenges and navigate rough spots in our professional journey.

Keep a success and gratitude journal. We can quickly forget our successes while we dwell in what went wrong. We can become preoccupied with what we don’t have while ignoring what we do. Keeping a daily journal of what we have achieved and what we are grateful for can be a great way to keep our focus on what is going right and is good. When we have a bad day or experience a setback, reading our journal can be a great way to restore our confidence and re-balance our perspective.

Self-doubt can be uncomfortable, but it doesn't have to hold us back. Pushing forward even when we have some worries and trepidation can help us focus our attention and energy. Prevailing in the face of self-doubt can help us to build the confidence and courage we may need when we face the next challenge.

October 02, 2025

Ten Reasons Why AI Cannot Replace Teachers

Each generation of artificial intelligence (AI) tools offers more capabilities than its predecessor. What we once believed was beyond the capacity of technology is now commonplace today. AI can accomplish a wide array of tasks that are used to siphon valuable time from the core work of nurturing the learning and caring for the needs of our students.

We may wonder where it will end. Some people have even predicted that AI will soon replace educators. Here is the truth: AI may lighten the administrative workload of educators. AI may transform the nature of the work of educators. It may expand the array of resources and data available to teachers to design and manage learning experiences. However, there is no reason to expect AI to replace educators.

Consider these crucial elements of caring, connections, and context-building that educators can offer that AI cannot:

Build authentic, lasting, life-changing relationships. Educators can help students to feel seen and valued. Educators can understand and care deeply. Educators can create lifelong connections and have a lasting influence on students’ lives and decisions. AI can simulate warmth and responsiveness, but not the genuine care and connection that teachers can have with students.

Cultivate community and sense of belonging. Educators create norms and expectations to foster community. Educators design opportunities for students to connect. They foster inclusiveness and counter incidents of harassment, teasing, and exclusion. AI may design group activities, but it cannot foster community and belonging.

See and respond to flashes of insight and sudden understanding. Educators are uniquely positioned to witness and amplify “aha” moments. They can see and reinforce the sense of pride they see in a student’s eyes. AI may create conditions where students discover and understand, but it cannot genuinely participate in these meaningful moments.

Provide sensitive, timely, and compassionate comfort when a student’s world falls apart. Learning occurs in a context. What happens in students’ lives beyond school and the classroom affects their learning and well-being. Educators see the larger picture of students’ lives. They are positioned to care, support, and if necessary, intervene. AI cannot reach these areas of students’ lives.

Coach students to make meaning out of what they are learning. Educators can help students to see connections to what they already know and what they have experienced in life beyond the classroom. Sensemaking is a crucial element in developing understanding and building recall. AI can invite connections, but it does not have access to the range and nuance of student learning and experience necessary to accomplish this task.

Read and respond to nonverbal cues. Much of the most authentic and meaningful signs and signals that tell how students are doing cannot be found in what they say or may write. A physical slump when struggling with a problem, a sigh on the third attempt to find a solution, or a look of fear in a student’s eyes when confronted with a new challenge can say far more about what a student feels and needs than can be accessed by AI.

Ignite passion and instill hope. The invisible, but incredibly powerful connections educators build with students can be the conduit for stimulating curiosity, opening the door to possibility, and building confidence that more is possible than the students could have imagined for themselves. AI can provide motivational phrases, but it cannot have the impact that a trusted, inspiring, imaginative educator can create.

Pivot and refocus to capture and exploit unanticipated learning opportunities. Educators can sense when a teachable moment emerges, even when the learning is not part of the lesson. An unexpected question, a humorous insight, or ironic observation can be the stimulus for deep and meaningful learning. AI can adjust its pathways, but pivoting to seize the moment is beyond its programming.

Model how to navigate life. Educators demonstrate for students every day what it means to live by one’s values. Students watch closely to discern whether fairness is present. They see examples of integrity and resilience as interactions, conflicts, and challenges unfold. Educators may not explicitly teach life lessons, but values are constantly on display for observation and emulation. AI may present theories and simulated experiences, but it cannot create the real-life learning opportunities offered by educators.

Advocate for students. Educators are uniquely positioned to see the needs students have and the challenges they face. Educators also often see how systems and people in positions of power in students’ lives may not be serving them well. Consequently, educators can be the voice of students to advocate with families, leaders, and systems to understand and respond in ways that better serve students. AI may uncover issues and discover gaps in services and supports, but it has no power to advocate.

The promise of AI is not just to eliminate busy work, handle administrative tasks, and generate content. The real promise is to free time and mental energy for educators to be advocates for learners and learning, nurturers of intellectual growth, developers of character, an inspiration of possibility, and translators of experience into life lessons.

September 25, 2025

Why You Should Pay Attention to Your Attention

We might think that our most precious resources are our time, our money, our health, or our family. Yet, while these are important elements in our lives, this list ignores what may be our most important life resource. Without judicious use of this additional resource, our time can be wasted, our money squandered, our health diminished, and our family neglected. This resource costs nothing, it is completely within our control, and it requires no special training.

This resource is our attention. How we choose to invest and manage our attention determines the value, utility, and sustainability of most other aspects of life. Without attention, much of what we value in life withers and may disappear. Meanwhile, failure to direct and sustain our attention where it is needed can allow unpleasant and unwanted life forces to grow, making our life frustrating and miserable.

We can choose to treat our attention as random access to life, or we can choose to focus and give sustained attention to those elements in life that we value, want to protect, and desire to grow. Let’s explore the power of attention and how we can use it to our best advantage.

Attention is a powerful but scarce resource. We might think that attention has no limits, but it does. We cannot pay attention to everything at once. When our attention is scattered, it has little impact. Attention requires us to make choices. When we focus in one area, we cannot simultaneously focus elsewhere. We need to protect, direct, and invest our attention wisely.

Energy follows attention. We can choose to focus on what bothers us, our worries, and what stresses us. When we do, these elements will sap our energy, undermine our optimism, and leave us feeling anxious and depressed. Alternatively, we can choose to focus on our strengths, what we can control, and pursuit of our goals and priorities. As a result, we can build on what we do well, feel more confident, and see significant and sustained progress toward our goals.

Attention magnifies its object. What we focus on tends to grow. If we focus on student misbehavior, we are likely to see it grow. If we consistently notice and reinforce appropriate behavior, we are likely to see more of it. When we notice and encourage curiosity, students tend to show more of it. If we focus on compliance with rules rather than commitment to learning, again, we are likely to see more of it.

Expertise requires sustained attention. Of course, there are some skills that require little time and practice to master. However, skills that offer durability and significant long-term impact typically require practice, depth of understanding, and continued honing. Classroom management experts may make the work look easy, but it is the result of years of focused practice, continued development, and the skill to anticipate and adjust in real time.

Attention aligned with purpose and values lessens stress. A sense of purpose and clear values can provide hope and confidence in difficult times. Believing that the work is important, feeling a sense of mission, and pursuing what matters can be powerful counterweights in times of pressure and stress. Struggling with a difficult class can be challenging, but it still can feel worth it when we consider how much our students need us and that we are doing the right work.

Failure to give timely, adequate attention invites disaster. We can be tempted to ignore growing problems, fail to build necessary skills, or push students through even though we know they are not making necessary progress. In the short term, we might convince ourselves that everything is fine. Yet, small problems can become big headaches. Failure to learn new skills needed to serve students can make our work more difficult. And allowing lack of progress to go unaddressed can have long-term life consequences for our students.

There is no question that where we place our attention matters—often more than we might imagine. Consider this insight from Albert Einstein: “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

September 25, 2025

Laughter Can Be a Powerful Tool for Leading and Learning

Education is serious work, but it does not have to be humorless. In fact, humor and its companion—laughter—can be powerful tools for leading a school staff, an instructional team or task force, a group of colleagues, or class of students.

What makes humor so powerful? When we laugh, we activate dopamine, a feel-good brain chemical. Dopamine can stimulate learning and extend recall. Dopamine is self-reinforcing. It leaves us wanting more; thus, it builds engagement. Further, dopamine fosters connections when it is part of shared experiences. Laughter also can be a signal that we are in a safe place and can be ourselves. Humor can lighten the mood and the load. It can lessen feelings of stress and stimulate creativity.

Some of us might think that we are not naturally funny. However, finding humor does not mean that we must be a comedian. In fact, laughter can come from many sources. We can start by not taking ourselves too seriously. We also need to be open to seeing and enjoying humor when it reveals itself. Here are five places where we can find and generate a smile, a chuckle, a full-blown belly laugh, or maybe just an appreciative eye roll:

Tap low risk sources of humor such as cartoons, jokes, and funny stories. The combination of what we find humorous and what we know about our audience— whether staff or students—can be our guide. It is often best to search for humor that relates to the work we are doing or the learning we are nurturing. Not being the original source of humor does not mean it is less effective.
Share short videos or clips. We can look for content related to a topic, challenge, or goal that also features a humorous approach. A brief, appropriate video clip can stimulate interest and spark ideas while also lightening the atmosphere and creating a readiness for what lies ahead.
Share our experiences, missteps, misunderstandings, and foibles. Self-effacing stories and reflections can break tension and lighten the mood. Our willingness to share something about ourselves can make us more relatable and allow others to relax and be themselves.
Recognize, pause, and enjoy the unexpected and ironic things that happen or are said. Finding something funny in real time can make work more enjoyable and learning more meaningful. A statement of the obvious, a surprising insight that explains, or an unintended pun can be the stimulus for new ideas, launch a new line of thinking, or open the door to new learning.
Delegate the search for humor to a team member or student. As noted earlier, we do not always have to be the source of humor. We might ask a particularly funny team member or creative student to come up with a joke or story to kick off a meeting or class. However, we may need to provide some guidance and boundaries to avoid misapplication of the assignment.

Like any powerful tool, humor must be handled with care and utilized with thought and purpose. When employing humor, we do well to:

Consider the context
Think of the impact
Stay away from stereotypes
Avoid embarrassing or humiliating anyone
Stay away from off-color innuendos or double meanings

Humor, when used with care and discretion, can add an important dimension to our leadership and assist with learning. We can introduce levity, lessen stress, and create community through the humor we borrow, create, and recognize.

September 18, 2025

Share Your Tips & Stories

Share your story and the tips you have for getting through this challenging time. It can remind a fellow school leader of something they forgot, or your example can make a difficult task much easier and allow them to get more done in less time. We may publish your comments.

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Touchstones for Surviving Tough Classroom Moments

We want to stay focused, in control, and continue to move forward regardless of what each day might bring. Yet, consider the typical day in a classroom. Distractions, disruptions, and detours can come at us in a hurry. The press and stress of these situations can lead us to forget or overlook some of the most effective responses, redirections, and rerouting that can keep the class and learning on track.

The good news is that often a few short phrases and quick reminders can help us to remain in control and move forward despite the pace and chaos of the day. Here are seven pieces of time-tested, sage advice that we can tap and apply to avoid losing focus or momentum.

Seek to connect before trying to correct. Students want to know that we care before they are ready to listen and follow our guidance and direction. If we want students to respond to our corrections, we need to start by establishing connections. The truth is that our effectiveness in redirecting students is more likely to depend on our relationship than the technique we apply to correct their behavior.

Be curious, not furious. Students occasionally will do things that distract and disturb us. Our first reaction can be to become angry and upset. Yet, the truth is that student behavior is driven by purpose. They do things for a reason. If we allow ourselves to react based on how we feel, we risk missing what lies behind student actions and decisions. Doing so can make the situation worse, or lead to having to backtrack once we learn the full story. Rather than allowing our emotions to take over, we do better to inquire, listen, and understand before deciding how to respond.

Give the benefit of the doubt. We may be confused or disappointed by an action a student takes or choice they make. Our first reaction might be to be frustrated and accusatory, especially if the student has a history of poor judgement or misbehavior. However, doing so can lead us to assume the worst and draw negative conclusions about the situation before we fully understand. Consequently, we may miss an opportunity to support, trust, and teach. We may even find ourselves having to apologize for jumping to a negative conclusion, saying something, or acting in a way we later regret. On the other hand, when we assume that students act based on positive intent, we rarely find ourselves regretting our actions or having to apologize.

Don’t confuse students with their behavior. Students can do amazingly frustrating and disappointing things. They can “push our buttons” in ingenious ways. Yet, we need to remember that students’ actions and their identities are not the same. Behaviors are choices students make. They can learn and grow from their mistakes. We need to value students for who they are, not what they have done.

Think and respond, not trigger and react. In the heat of the moment, we can find ourselves susceptible to emotional triggers. We can react to situations without thinking. We might even feel as though a student’s behavior made us do what we did. Unfortunately, our reaction often leads to regret. In truth, there exists a crucial gap between a student’s action and our response. We can choose to pause, think, and choose before we act. This split-second decision gives us the power to control our behavior and respond with better judgement and a more effective response.

De-escalate before trying to educate. Hearing and responding effectively is especially difficult when emotions are high. Trying to modify behavior or teach a lesson when students are upset or agitated usually is futile. In fact, it can escalate the situation. A calm voice, offering supportive choices, and relaxed demeanor usually will be more effective in the moment. Once the student has had some time to calm down, discussion about what happened, what needs to be learned, and planning for the future will be better received and more effective.

Leverage expectations to lift performance. It has been said that we get what we expect. While holding high expectations of our students does not always mean that everyone will immediately respond by accelerating their learning and achieving complete success, our belief that students can learn, grow, and improve makes a difference. Decades of research demonstrate that what teachers believe about the learning potential of their students has an impact on how they perform. We may wonder if there is a danger of expecting too much. Yet rarely is this a problem. In fact, the consequences of expecting too little are far more worrisome.

If some of these points resonate with you and you want to remember them when experiencing behavior challenges in the classroom, consider putting them on sticky notes and placing them in prominent places as reminders. Alternatively, some of these insights can be good mantras to repeat and reflect on as you prepare for a day that you expect to be especially challenging. Of course, some or all these nuggets may already be part of your daily routine. If so, keep up the good work.

September 18, 2025

Do's and Don'ts for Helping Students Through Emotional Conversations

When students trust us and see us as a safe and supportive adult in their lives, they often come to us to help them find their way through difficult, emotionally laden, complex life challenges. While we should feel honored that our students value our relationship and judgment, we need to recognize that these can be high-stakes conversations. How we respond, what we say, and the counsel we offer all deserve careful consideration.

We need to convey empathy, sensitivity, clarity, and compassion. Yet, when emotions are high, we can overstep, undermine, and alienate the student without intending or, in some cases, realizing what we have done. We can forget that the goal is to help the student find their way, not take over and solve the situation for them. With this reality in mind, here are five “do's” and five “don’ts” for engaging in high-stakes conversations with students.

Do:

Validate the student’s feelings. We might say something like, “I can see that you are really upset” or “This seems very important to you.” We might assure the student that it is okay to feel bad, disappointed, or angry. We may not understand the full extent of their feelings, but we can acknowledge and respect their presence.
Stay fully present. Students can sense when we are distracted, impatient, or in a hurry. When this happens, students are likely to shut down and abandon the conversation. Eye contact, open body position, leaning in, and other supportive nonverbal behaviors can encourage students to trust and be open with us. Students want assurance that we care.
Listen carefully and actively. Careful listening includes attempting to hear what is not said as well as what is. Head nodding, verbally feeding back what we are hearing, and confirming our understanding reassures students and encourages them to say what is truly on their mind.
Keep questions open and neutral. Our questions need to help the student reflect and share. Questions that sound accusatory or blaming can shut down the conversation and leave the student feeling as though we are not supportive and interested in helping them find their way through what they are feeling and experiencing.
Be supportive. It is best to ask what we can do to be supportive. The best support is likely to be what the student wants and needs, not what we assume will be helpful. We can’t assume that what would work for us is what will be best for the student. If the student is not sure what they need or what to do, we might offer to work with them to figure out the best solution.

Don’t:

Make unfounded assumptions. We may think that we know more than we do. Assuming something that is not true or jumping to premature conclusions can make the situation worse and alienate the student at a time when they desperately need us. Similarly, it is risky to assume that what would work for us in similar circumstances is what would be best for the student.
Compare the student’s situation with others. It may be true that other students appear to face greater challenges or more difficult circumstances. However, making comparisons usually is not welcome or helpful. What seems a reasonable comparison to us may feel wildly disconnected from the perspective of the student.
Downplay the gravity of the situation. What seems a minor problem and temporary setback to us may feel huge to the student. We need to resist being dismissive, even if the situation sounds blown out of proportion. Similarly, we need to refrain from making judgements based on our own experiences or estimate of the size of the problem. To the student, the situation is troubling and that is enough.
Give advice without permission. The student may just want to be heard. Talking through emotional situations and hearing themselves describe what they are feeling may be all that they need. If we have advice to offer, we might ask the student if they would like advice. Importantly, if the student says “no,” we need to let it go.
Rush the conversation or solutions. We may be in a hurry and want to “cut to the chase.” If we do not have time for the conversation, we might suggest a time when we can give our full attention rather than press forward when we feel urgency and can’t give our full attention. Similarly, we may see what seems like a good solution and try to sell it before the student is ready. What is most important is that the student is ready for resolution or deciding next steps. We need to be patient and supportive until the student is ready.

As much as we sometimes want to take control and tell students what they should do when they face a difficult challenge, it usually is best to position ourselves as coaches, reflectors, and supportive advocates. These can be important, informal learning opportunities for our students. We want them to build the confidence and skills to manage the current circumstance and be ready for other challenges that may lie ahead.

September 10, 2025

Seven Indicators That the Year Is Off to a Good Start

We dedicate significant time and energy to preparation for the start of a new school year. Our attention is focused on arranging materials and equipment, learning everything we can about our students, setting the stage for the first several days, and hoping that all will go well. Predictably, not everything goes as planned. There are pleasant surprises, some unexpected challenges, and other “wrinkles” in our plans and expectations with which we need to deal.

As we move beyond the initial phase of structuring, expectation setting, and getting to know our students, our attention shifts to how well our early efforts are taking hold and our students are responding, and whether we are on track for sustainable success. Of course, we probably have a sense for how things are going, but it can also be helpful to have some signs and signals to monitor and assess our progress. Here are seven indicators we can consider.

Students greet us easily and positively as they enter the classroom. Eye contact, smiles, and verbal greetings are signs that students are comfortable with us, and positive relationships are forming. Of course, we need to be positioned to have them comfortably encounter us by standing at the door, greeting students by name, or otherwise positioning ourselves to welcome students.

Students are following established routines and transitions are smooth. It is a good sign if we are spending less time managing behavior and more time is available for instruction, discussion, reflection, and practice. Of course, behavior management will always be necessary. It is the gradual shift in balance that is important to monitor.

Students remind each other of classroom rules, expectations, and routines. Once students understand and are confident in what is expected of them and their behavior, they can be quick to notice when other students ignore or do not follow established norms. This behavior can be a sign that students are no longer relying entirely on us to enforce expectations and classroom culture is forming.

Students are active participants in class discussions and activities. As students become more comfortable and confident, they are more likely to ask questions and seek help when necessary. We can also monitor the levels of enthusiasm and engagement students show during activities.

Students are connecting with classmates. Obviously, some students will have existing friendships and students may be making new friends. Our attention needs to extend to whether we see obvious cliques forming, conflicts emerging, or efforts to exclude classmates.

Students generally submit assignments and complete tasks on time. Our monitoring might focus on whether students are giving adequate attention to detail and are striving to produce quality work. When students are demonstrating good work habits, time management, and organizational skills, the stage is set for a successful year.

Students seem willing to take learning risks, tolerate mistakes, and accept feedback. As the cadence of the school year settles in, we can begin to observe how students see themselves as learners. Confident learners are more likely to accept risks and mistakes as part of the learning process, while uncertain and reluctant learners are more likely to avoid risks and see mistakes as evidence of their lack of ability. How well students accept and use feedback can be a key indicator of how well students see themselves and are likely to grow as learners.

A good start to the school year makes the remainder of the term or year better. Continuing to build and sustain momentum is much easier than trying to establish connections, create focus, and build culture once negative patterns are set.

A final thought: If you are part of a co-teaching or other type of instructional team, it is important to set consistent expectations and provide consistent responses when students need reminding and redirection. If adults are not on the same page, students will quickly notice, and some may choose to exploit the situation to our detriment.

September 04, 2025

What Students Fear Most in the First Weeks of School

We want students to begin the new year with excitement, anticipation, and curiosity. However, we also know that students often come to school with a variety of questions, concerns, and worries. We need to feed their excitement, reinforce their anticipation, and continue to build their curiosity. Meanwhile, we must recognize and do all that we can to answer their questions, lessen their fears, and build their confidence.

Of course, the range of questions and concerns students have can be wide. Nevertheless, there are three categories of fear that are common among students of almost any age, background, or culture: protection of identity, desire to belong, and wanting to be competent.

Identity

Among the questions students are likely to have are: Will I be liked? Can I be myself? Will I be accepted for who I am? Can I be open about my interests, my family, and my culture? Will I stand out negatively? Am I worthy of being here?

What we can do to help:

Learn student names early and use them in interactions with students.
Greet students at the door and notice them individually.
Avoid nicknames unless students give us permission to use them.
Resist assigning general labels such as quiet, disengaged, and smart. Students are more than any one descriptor and giving labels can get in the way of our seeing the whole student.
Look for students’ strengths and call them out, including gifts and talents that are not academic such as kindness, thoughtfulness, and a sense of humor.
Invite students to share their stories and traditions.
Normalize mistakes as part of learning, not measures of who the student is.

Belonging

Questions about belonging likely will include: Will I be accepted as part of the class? Will I feel included? Will I feel emotionally safe? Will I have or can I make friends? Will I be teased or ostracized if I make a mistake?

What we can do to help:

Get to know students beyond their role as students.
Inquire about interests, hobbies, and outside-of-school experiences and stories. Interest communicates connection.
Develop shared norms and expectations for behavior that are respectful and build community.
Invite student input on procedures and activities.
Acknowledge students’ ideas and suggestions, even if not all of them can be implemented.
Teach social skills such as courtesy, listening, and handling disagreement.
Ensure that decorations, materials, and content represent diverse cultures and experiences.
Respond quickly to counter teasing, harassment, and exclusion.

Competence

Questions and fears related to competency might be: How challenging will the work be? Do I have the skills necessary to do the work at this level? Will I be able to keep up? Will my teacher believe in my potential? Will I be able to get help if I need it?

What we can do to help:

Reassure students they will be successful and that we are committed to making it so.
Avoid comparing students to each other or past classes.
Notice and celebrate effort and progress, as well as results.
Reinforce good strategies, willingness to adjust, and effective use of resources.
Begin with low stakes, accessible tasks to build confidence.
Use scaffolding such as step-by-step processes, guides, examples, and illustrations to build student skills.
Provide students with timely, objective, specific, and actionable feedback to help them see where they are making progress, where they may be struggling, and what steps they can take to improve.

The demands and distractions of the first weeks of a new school year can be daunting. However, this is a crucial time to help students to feel that they fit in, are accepted, and can be successful. By taking time to address their questions and concerns, we can set the stage for strong, positive relationships with our students and a year of learning success.

August 27, 2025

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