The Master Teacher Blog

The Master Teacher Blog
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How to Recapture Your Mental Energy with Deep Thinking

How to Recapture Your Mental Energy with Deep Thinking

We live in a world that values speed, seeks easy answers, and accepts superficial thinking. Too often, we find ourselves scanning, skimming, and scrolling rather than listening, reflecting, and contemplating. We can feel as though we are on a treadmill of see, react, and act, rather than observe, reflect, discover, choose, plan, and engage. The latter requires taking time to think deeply and act purposefully.

Thinking is our most valuable skill. It is what makes us uniquely human. Deep thinking offers benefits that are both intellectual and personal. Deep thinking ignites creativity, builds empathy and self-awareness, and strengthens decision-making. Deep thinking can result in new insights, novel ideas, and useful solutions. It can help us to break out of unproductive cycles of thought and behavior. Deep thinking rewards patience and renews energy and strengthens and lengthens our ability to focus.

Our world, unfortunately, too often encourages surface engagement rather than deep thinking. It prioritizes emotional reaction over reasoning, stimulation over stillness, efficiency over substance, and comfort over complexity. These are formidable forces that push against deliberate, patient, deep thinking.

Admittedly, deep thinking is not always easy. Deep thinking requires us to protect time to engage, it calls for focus and quieting our minds, and for allowing ourselves to be curious. Deep thinking is a skill and discipline. Deep thinking calls for us to slow down and stay with questions. It can be awkward at first, but with practice it becomes a reinforcing and rewarding experience.

So, what are some strategies we can employ to build our skill and practice deep thinking? Here are seven strategies to get started:

  • Set aside time specifically to think. As little as 10-15 minutes can be a good start. As we practice thinking, we can build toward longer thinking periods. However, we need quiet and to be free from screens, tasks, and other distractions.
  • Select a focus. We might consider a question that has been on our minds, a problem we are trying to solve, or an idea that needs further development.
  • Practice “slow looking.” We might consider an issue from different perspectives. How might someone else see the situation? Reflect on the “big picture” and follow by focusing on details. We can resist quick answers and stay with questions as long as we are able.
  • Be patient with complexity, ambiguity, and uncertainty. New insights and ideas often surface from what may not be clear and obvious. Being curious and allowing our thinking to explore possibilities can uncover important elements and options that otherwise would go unnoticed and ignored.
  • Make thinking a habit. Occasional periods of thinking can be useful, but making deep thinking a regular part of daily or weekly routines can lead to bigger breakthroughs, more and better ideas, and greater self-awareness and confidence.
  • Keep a thinking log. Make notes of ideas, possibilities, questions, and issues about which you want to think more deeply. Life moves quickly. We need to capture what we can as it happens so that we can reflect and consider options and implications with care and focus.
  • Write about your thinking. Writing can be a powerful tool to organize, explore, and memorialize our thinking. Keeping a journal might be useful. Even a blog—regardless of whether it is published—can be a helpful way to create purpose and value in your thinking.

Deep thinking asks us to prioritize our time, be curious, and practice courage. The benefits can be powerful as we discover new insights about ourselves, our work, and our world. We become more comfortable with uncertainty, more confident in our ability to understand and influence our environment, and more empathetic toward others in our lives.

Small Shifts with Big Impact: 5 Resolutions Worth Keeping

Small Shifts with Big Impact: 5 Resolutions Worth Keeping

This is a time when we often consider making resolutions for the coming year. These resolutions are aspirational, reflecting our hopes and intentions for the months ahead. Unfortunately, they are also often short-lived. Resolutions can require new skills, significant life changes, and relationship adjustments. They may even mean giving up things with which we are familiar and enjoy. Consequently, within the first month or two of the new year, most resolutions have gone by the wayside.

Nevertheless, there may be changes to make and goals to achieve in the coming year that are worth our time and effort. The key is to choose carefully, focus on what can help us make progress towards who we want to be, and be ready to follow through. Of course, it helps if our resolutions do not require significant new commitments of time, new skills, or abandonment of long practiced habits.

If this situation sounds familiar, you have good news. There are meaningful resolutions you can make that do not come with significant new time commitments but pay big dividends. They do not require new skills or new habits that would be difficult to sustain. Equally important, these resolutions offer significant and sustained benefits when practiced regularly. Consider these five options that you can start today and enjoy their benefits now and throughout the new year.

Resolution #1: I will be curious.

Curiosity is an attitude as much as a behavior. Being curious positions us to pay attention, ask questions, and explore what may be new or unique. Remaining curious can be a powerful way to help us to better understand and evaluate new ideas we encounter. Curiosity can help us build relationships with others. Curiosity can even be an effective strategy for resolving conflicts we encounter.  It can also be the door to continuous learning and growth.

Resolution #2: I will assume positive intentions.

When something unfortunate happens, we observe negative behavior, or are confused by what someone says, we have a choice to make. We might assume that someone intended to create a problem, behave badly, or their words were intended to hurt. Alternatively, we can assume that there may be more to the situation than we know and there is a legitimate reason for what someone said or did. The choice may matter more than we realize. When we assume negative intentions, we search for responsibility and blame. The result too often is unproductive, negative, and hurtful. When we learn the full story, we may even find ourselves apologizing for what we assumed. Assuming positive intentions, on the other hand, allows us to explore and gain understanding before deciding what to think and how to respond. Assuming positive intentions builds trust and promotes understanding—two helpful connections for the coming year.

Resolution #3: I will notice and celebrate small wins.

Small wins happen around us more often than we might realize—unless we are paying attention. In the aftermath of a resolved problem, a settled conflict, or completed task, we might quickly turn to the next issue or challenge and move on. Yet, small wins can be the fuel that keeps our energy flowing and our spirits high. Further, when we notice and celebrate small wins, they can grow and become much larger wins. Small wins can be momentum builders and confidence reinforcers. They are worth noticing and celebrating.

Resolution #4: I will be grateful.

Much like noticing and celebrating small wins, paying attention to what we should be grateful for and appreciating people who are important to us can be a powerful counterweight to what might otherwise drag us down. Incorporating gratitude into daily or weekly journaling, reflecting as we begin or end the day, or purposefully sharing gratitude in our conversations can make a surprisingly positive difference in our attitude and how we experience life. Reflecting on what is good in our lives and being thankful for people who support and love us does not have to be time consuming, but it can be life renewing.

Resolution #5: I will practice work-life balance.

There is almost always more work that could be done. We might do more planning. We might rework or tweak a project, or maybe just worry about a colleague or student. The list could go on. Finding work-life balance can become more of an art than science. But placing reasonable boundaries around work hours, setting priorities, taking regular breaks, and protecting time for family, recreation, and other personal activities can be the key to sustaining our energy, remaining motivated, and maintaining our sanity.

While these resolutions do not ask us to change major elements of our lives, they yield the greatest results when practiced regularly. With just a few weeks of practice, they can shift how we engage with others, shape our attitudes, and improve how we experience life.

How to Be a Light for Someone This Season

How to Be a Light for Someone This Season

During this time of the year, the days are shorter and natural light is present for fewer hours. Yet, this month is still known as the season of lights; we hang lights, decorate with lights, celebrate with lights, and marvel at the beauty lights can project. At a time when we cannot necessarily depend on light from natural sources, we create, display, and share light to brighten our lives and the lives of others.

When light is scarce, we are keener to celebrate its presence. In fact, light at this time of year does not just seem to shine brighter, it travels farther. Light that might be barely noticeable in bright sunshine can be a penetrating beacon during a dark night. We notice it more and are drawn to it. The greater the darkness, the greater the impact light has on and in our lives.

Of course, this phenomenon is not just physical. A similar relationship exists emotionally and psychologically. When life feels darkest—when we experience disappointment, endure depression, and experience sadness—we appreciate the “light” that people around us bring, share, and ignite in our lives.

Amid the celebrations that accompany this holiday season, we do well to consider the light we can offer to and inspire in the lives of those around us: students, colleagues, friends, family, and others with whom our lives intersect. The good news is that bringing light into the lives of others does not have to be a big event nor does it require excessive effort. Often a little thought, some awareness, and a measure of attention are all that is required to brighten the day of someone who is experiencing emotional darkness. Here are a few examples to consider and build on:

  • Noticing. Taking a few seconds to go beyond generic greetings to make eye contact, checking on someone’s day, inquiring about their plans, or just wishing them a good evening can be all that it takes to remind someone that they are noticed and they matter. 
  • Understanding. Spending a few minutes just listening and seeking to understand can be a gift that means more than we might imagine. Being genuinely heard can be a special gift.
  • Encouraging. Just a few words assuring someone that “they’ve got this,” they have what it takes to make it through, or that you are behind them can be enough for them persist and overcome what they face.
  • Giving. Offering to help with a task or project, sharing resources, or just showing up with a cup of coffee can lighten an emotional load and make the day of someone who is feeling overwhelmed or struggling to keep going.
  • Thanking. Letting someone know that we appreciate them, we are grateful to have them in our lives or are thankful for something they have done can make their day and lift their spirit.
  • Caring. Knowing someone cares can feel like a lifeline in times of loneliness and isolation. Remembering to check in, stop by, or otherwise reach out and be there for someone can be all that it takes to make a difference.

There is a quote: “The best things in life are not things.” We can become caught up in the “things” of the holidays and forget that what may matter most to the people in our lives is what we are to them, not the things we give to them. Equally important, when we bring light into the lives of others, our lives feel brighter too.

7 Ways to Manage the Holiday Rush Before It Manages You

7 Ways to Manage the Holiday Rush Before It Manages You

The holidays and much anticipated winter break will soon be upon us. The pace will quicken, distractions will increase, and expectations will grow to have everything completed and perfect. Yet, the number of hours in the day will remain the same.

If we do nothing to anticipate, plan, and manage what lies ahead, we can expect our sense of pressure, stress and frustration to grow. The likelihood of us feeling overwhelmed is high.  However, there are several steps we can take to make the season manageable, even enjoyable. Consider these seven “R’s” for remaining sane and in control as you develop plans and decide how you will manage in the days ahead.

Rely on daily and weekly routines.

We can be tempted to loosen or even abandon daily routines in the face of special activities, rehearsals, and other holiday related activities. However, for many students, daily routines are what keep them focused and in control of their emotions and behavior. Students are accustomed to a sequence of activities and knowing what comes next. Varying from routines can invite lack of focus, off task behavior, and even loss of emotional control, especially for young students. Maintaining as much of our daily and weekly routines as practical can serve students and us well.

Revisit behavior expectations.

Even though we spent time and effort to establish expectations early in the year and we have reinforced them as the year has unfolded, now is a good time to revisit our expectations and any expectations we developed with the input and participation of students. We might reinforce the importance of remaining focused despite the excitement and distractions that come with the season. We can also remind students that respect and responsibility are always in season. 

Remain focused on learning.

Students are more likely to remain engaged if we continue to present them with content and learning activities that are challenging, engaging, and relevant. We might borrow themes and topics that are relevant to the season, but engaging students in worthwhile learning activities can prevent many of the common challenges associated with holidays and school breaks. 

Reorganize and sequence major tasks and responsibilities.

We also need to give attention to our personal and professional workload and manage it strategically. We might establish due dates for major projects a week or two in advance of the final push to the break so that we can finish grading before the final rush overwhelms us.  We might plan activities that have students reviewing and providing feedback on each other’s work rather than demanding excessive attention from us. We also need to pay attention to tasks and responsibilities we have apart from work and how we can sequence and balance them to preserve our time, energy, and attention.  We need to remember that the level of pressure and stress we feel also has an impact on student attention and behavior. One thing is certain: If we fail to manage activities and responsibilities, they will pile up and start to manage us. 

Rally with colleagues.

We do not have to create, plan, and carry out every task and activity on our own. Now is a great time to collaborate with coworkers to design projects, share resources, and lend a hand in other ways. Choosing to share the load can make everyone’s life easier and the work more fun. 

Relax and be flexible.

We know that at this time of year not everything will go as planned. There will be distractions, surprises, and interruptions. Expecting perfection is a recipe for frustration and stress. We can let go of what we cannot control, offer forgiveness for others’ lack of planning, and expect that not all communication will be timely and complete. In short: Go with the flow and try to enjoy the ride. 

Reserve time for yourself.

We cannot be our best selves and do our best work when we feel exhausted and overwhelmed. Choosing to spend time with family and friends, maintaining an exercise routine, and getting enough sleep can give us the energy and motivation we need to keep going and remain present through all the chaos the holidays and upcoming break bring. We need to take care of ourselves if we hope to be ready to take care of others.

The holiday season is a time of excitement and anticipation. The upcoming winter break promises time to relax and unwind. However, the days and weeks leading up to these anticipated experiences can be filled with unrealistic expectations and pressure. Now is a good time to anticipate, prepare, be ready to manage what lies ahead.

Four Elements That Drive Unshakable Resilience

Four Elements That Drive Unshakable Resilience

We might think of resilience as the ability to tolerate and survive adversity. Finding our way through difficult times is important. However, framing resilience as just getting by can lead us to ignore important dimensions and opportunities often found in adverse and challenging circumstances whether we are a teacher, administrator, or other member of the school team.

Resilience does not have to be a means to get past or get through difficult experiences. It can be the strategy we use to transform how we see our circumstances, discover opportunities within adversity, and a means to resurface with even more confidence and competence as a person and as a professional.

Rather than seeing resilience as solely the capacity to respond, we might think of it as a strategy for reframing our thinking and choosing our response. In fact, we might think of resilience as powered by four factors over which we have control, attitude, gratitude, fortitude, and aptitude. Let’s unpack these four factors and examine how they can shift our thinking and empower us to come back stronger after negative experiences, challenging circumstances, or adverse conditions.

Our attitude empowers our resilience. Attitude is a choice. It is the mindset we bring to life’s challenges. Our attitude is our interpretation of what we face and the story we tell ourselves about what is real and what is possible. When we choose a positive, “can do” attitude we do not deny difficulty. Instead, we open the possibility for growth and opportunity. Our attitude can be the difference between what we see as a dead end and what we perceive as a temporary detour. Our attitude can reframe the setbacks we experience as problems to solve and lessons to learn rather than personal or professional failures.

Our gratitude grounds our resilience. Gratitude helps us to appreciate what we have even when we may not have or be experiencing what we want. Gratitude helps us to remain balanced when not everything is going our way. Gratitude supports and preserves our relationships despite pressure and strain. When we are grateful, we can find silver linings in the face of difficulty without being naïve or dismissing the difficulties we confront. Gratitude helps us to maintain hope and prepares us to bounce back as circumstances change.

Our fortitude drives our resilience. Fortitude is the grit to act despite difficulty. Fortitude is the willpower to persist despite pressure, barriers, and setbacks. Fortitude keeps us going when our motivation dips and our energy ebbs. Fortitude can be as simple as deciding to keep walking and working despite the detours and distractions we face. Fortitude is focusing on next steps and doable actions that will move us forward, even if it is a small amount.

Our aptitude defines and draws on the skills we need to build our resilience. Resilience is not just an emotional response. Resilience involves gaining an objective understanding. Resilience is solving problems and finding answers. Resilience is leveraging our strengths, being smart in the effort and strategies we deploy, and accessing the resources available to us. Resilience is made up of skills we can learn and hone. Difficult times can be rich opportunities for learning, skill-building, and practice. Our aptitude for resilience is built on knowing ourselves, building our confidence, and honing our competence.

We can choose to see hope and possibility in the circumstances we face. We can continue to appreciate what we have even when what we want may be difficult to achieve. We can choose to act and persist even when circumstances challenge us. And we can use the adversity we face to define the skills we need, build the capacity to succeed, and emerge stronger, wiser, and ready to lead.

Need to Vent? Here Are Some Things to Consider

Need to Vent? Here Are Some Things to Consider

Venting of emotions is much like the release valve on a pressure cooker. Without venting, our crankiness and crabbiness build, collaboration suffers, and conflicts grow more frequent and intense. Releasing frustration and emotional pressure can keep our emotions from spilling over, leading to meltdowns, and eventually burning out.

The sources of frustration, pressure, or distraction can vary. We may just be having a bad day. Someone who knows how to “push our buttons” may be pushing them. We may be struggling to implement a new classroom routine or employ a new strategy. Regardless, we need to let off some emotional steam. Holding it in may work for a while, but holding in frustration can create even more problems.

When we need to vent, it usually is best to find an opportunity and an outlet. Here are some options to consider:

  • Seek out a trusted colleague, mentor, friend, or family member. Having someone who is willing to just listen can allow us to talk about what’s bothering us.
  • Capture thoughts, record emotions, and explore solutions by journaling. Writing about what is bothering us can help us to think through the situation and find some release without worrying about what we have said.
  • Take a walk or engage in other physical activities. Exercise can be an effective way to channel our emotions and dissipate emotional pressure.
  • Engage in meditation or mindfulness activities. Calming our thoughts and consciously releasing the tension we feel can relax our minds and bodies.
  • Do something creative. Tapping our creativity can release emotions without having to put them into words. Engaging in a favorite hobby, painting, or playing an instrument might be helpful. Writing poetry, a short story, or even composing a song can help us to explore and express what we are feeling.
  • Find a reason to laugh. Humor can be a surprisingly effective way to release tension. Humor can also help us to gain distance from our problem and provide a less intense way to release the pressure we feel.
  • Yell or scream where no one can hear you. A pillow can be a great receptacle for our verbal outbursts. Open spaces with no one around or even driving alone in a car can be a safe place to shout and release our tension and frustration.

While venting can feel good and release intense emotions, we need to observe some cautions. Here are some things to keep in mind:

  • If venting to someone, we need to be sure they understand that we are venting, not trying to solve a problem.
  • We need to be careful about venting to students, parents, and others about issues over which they have no control. They often do not fully understand our context and may feel awkward. We need to maintain our professionalism despite our frustration.
  • It is best to avoid over-venting. Repeated venting on the same topic, or with the same person can strain relationships.
  • We need to think about how our words and emotions might impact others. Becoming overly personal or accusatory based solely on emotion can create long-term damage to relationships and reputations.

Sometimes venting is enough to release emotions and let go of what is bothering us. At other times, venting might provide momentary relief, but frustrations remain. When we feel prolonged frustration, we may need to go beyond just venting. We might ask ourselves:

  • What are some reasonable, realistic solutions?
  • What have I tried and what else might lead to a solution?
  • Who can solve the problem or change the situation?
  • What would it take to make the situation better?
  • Who else seems to be experiencing similar frustrations and how might we partner to find a solution?

Finally, there may be times when we find that our need to vent is constant, problems begin to feel unsolvable, or we frequently feel overwhelmed. This may be a point where we need to consult a professional who can help us to gain a better perspective, find some more effective emotional outlets, or make some changes that lead to less frustration, greater satisfaction and a happier outlook.

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Share your story and the tips you have for getting through this challenging time. It can remind a fellow school leader of something they forgot, or your example can make a difficult task much easier and allow them to get more done in less time. We may publish your comments.
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Stop: Use Adversity to Learn, Grow, and Thrive

Stop: Use Adversity to Learn, Grow, and Thrive

We typically think of resilience as finding our way through a difficult experience or time, recovering, and being able to move past the experience. We may carry some “scars” with us from the experience, but we assume that returning to where we were before is success. Yet, settling for the ability to endure and survive leaves us where we started with little benefit to show from the experience.

As unpleasant as uncertainty, challenges, and change can be, they do not have to break us or even leave us where we were before they emerged. Adversity can be an important opportunity and stimulus for growth and learning. We might look to nature to understand the benefits of approaching challenges with an adaptive mindset. We know that when we stress our muscles in strength training, we become stronger. Trees exposed to persistent, vigorous wind develop stronger, deeper root structures. The stress of forest and grass fires stimulate new plant growth. When predators are introduced to ecosystems, other animals develop greater awareness, avoidance, defense, and escape skills.

Author Nassim Nicholas Taleb in his book, Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder, describes three general response options to stress, challenge, and uncertainty:

  • Fragile: Unprepared, unaware, inflexible systems and people are likely to break under stress. Rather than endure, they give in to the pressure and abandon the struggle. Adversity leaves them weaker, less able to deal with stress, and with diminished ability to confront the next challenge.
  • Resilient: Strong, durable systems and people focus on managing, enduring, and surviving. Their goal is to “live to fight another day,” but not necessarily adjust or improve because of the experience. Adversity generally leaves them where they started: standing, but not stronger or wiser.
  • Antifragile: Flexible, adaptive, responsive systems and people view uncertainty, adversity, and pressure as opportunities to learn, adapt, innovate, and grow. Returning to normal following challenging times is not their goal. Becoming stronger, becoming better able to adapt and adjust, and building toward new levels of skill and success are their intended “takeaways” from these experiences. 

When conditions change, new elements are introduced to our world, or new challenges emerge, we can choose to give in and abandon the struggle, endure and survive, or adapt, learn, and grow. The course we choose can have lasting effects on our personal and professional lives.

Certainly, there are times when choosing to fight is futile, or committing to hang on is the best we can do. However, the greatest upside potential lies in leveraging difficult experiences to learn, grow, adjust, and thrive. The question is: How can we make the best use of challenging experiences and emerge wiser, stronger, and ready for what lies ahead? Consider these seven strategies as places to start:

  • Interrogate adversity to find lessons you can learn. The lessons you learn may not only be useful now, but they may be good preparation for the future.
  • Consider the challenge as an opportunity to innovate. Now can be a time to try something new.
  • Explore what beliefs or assumptions may be getting in your way or holding you back. Try flipping your perceptions about the situation and see what new insights emerge.
  • Examine the strategies and approaches that appear to be working for others. They may have discovered something that will be useful to you.
  • Revisit something you tried that did not work.  Often the “seeds of success” can be found in efforts and attempts that did not fully produce desired results.
  • Accept that you hold the power to choose how you will respond regardless of what you face. Embrace the power you have.
  • Ask yourself, “What would I do if I were not afraid?” Fear can keep us from considering options and solutions that may involve risk but also hold significant promise.

Adversity is a natural part of life. We will face it regardless of whether we choose or deserve it. The question for us is how we will respond. We can give in, tolerate, or leverage these experiences. The choice we make can make a significant difference to our confidence, sense of control, and ability to deal with what the future holds.

Resource: Taleb, N. (2012). Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder. Random House.

Six Ways to Smother Self-Doubt

Six Ways to Smother Self-Doubt

We want to see ourselves as skilled, resilient, confident professionals. Yet, a tough class, a less-than-successful initiative, or a difficult professional relationship can leave us doubting ourselves. The distraction it can cause for us is less important than how we perceive it. The danger is in the self-doubt we feel.

Self-doubt can also be sneaky. It can creep up on us when we are not expecting it. And it can stay with us longer than we would like. Over time, self-doubt can contribute to our stress, undermine our confidence, leave us feeling reluctant to take risks, and can even damage our health.

Fortunately, there are several steps and strategies we can employ to counter feelings of self-doubt and build our confidence. Consider these six attitude and action adjustments that can replace self-doubt with self-confidence.

Strive to be your best, not perfect. Perfectionism can be a trap. Trying to create flawless lesson plans, build constant student engagement, and form perfect relationships is a recipe for disappointment and doubt. We cannot control all the factors that make a perfect learning experience. On the other hand, deciding to do our best each day and remaining flexible when not everything goes as planned can help us to let go of perfection while continuing to improve and allow us to celebrate even small successes. In the words of John Steinbeck in East of Eden: “And now that you don’t have be perfect, you can be good.”

Resist comparisons to others. We may perceive some colleagues as “having it all together.” They project an attitude of confidence and control. Yet, it is likely that there are areas in which they face challenges too. Be assured that they also experience difficult days, even if we are not aware of them. Instead of making comparisons to them, we can commit to collaborate with them. While we may gain some insights and strategies from them, there are likely ideas and approaches we can share that will help them improve, too.  

Reframe negative thoughts and self-talk. What we say to ourselves can have a powerful impact. The more we tell ourselves negative things, the more we are likely to believe them. Yet, we are in control of what we say and think. Shifting negative thoughts into positive affirmations and giving ourselves the support we would want from a valued friend can shift the way we think and feel. We might tell ourselves: “I can do this,” “I have faced and overcome tough things in the past,” and “I have what it takes to succeed.”

Treat mistakes and missteps as opportunities. Dwelling on mistakes and missteps can haunt our thinking and undermine our confidence. We want students to see that mistakes play an important role in learning. The same should be true for us. We are not—nor should we expect to be—perfect. Mistakes and missteps are part of life. Mistakes may point to something we need to learn, and a misstep may be a reminder to pay closer attention. When we commit to learn and improve, we gain value from the experience, not just left with regret.

Set goals and celebrate milestones. Goals can be powerful tools for making progress and building confidence. Setting meaningful, realistic, achievable goals can help us to focus our energy and attention. Achieving even small goals can give us a sense of accomplishment. Over time, the goals we set and achieve can build our confidence and remove doubts about our ability to face and overcome difficult challenges and navigate rough spots in our professional journey.

Keep a success and gratitude journal. We can quickly forget our successes while we dwell in what went wrong. We can become preoccupied with what we don’t have while ignoring what we do. Keeping a daily journal of what we have achieved and what we are grateful for can be a great way to keep our focus on what is going right and is good. When we have a bad day or experience a setback, reading our journal can be a great way to restore our confidence and re-balance our perspective.

Self-doubt can be uncomfortable, but it doesn't have to hold us back. Pushing forward even when we have some worries and trepidation can help us focus our attention and energy. Prevailing in the face of self-doubt can help us to build the confidence and courage we may need when we face the next challenge.

Why You Should Pay Attention to Your Attention

Why You Should Pay Attention to Your Attention

We might think that our most precious resources are our time, our money, our health, or our family. Yet, while these are important elements in our lives, this list ignores what may be our most important life resource. Without judicious use of this additional resource, our time can be wasted, our money squandered, our health diminished, and our family neglected. This resource costs nothing, it is completely within our control, and it requires no special training. 

This resource is our attention. How we choose to invest and manage our attention determines the value, utility, and sustainability of most other aspects of life. Without attention, much of what we value in life withers and may disappear. Meanwhile, failure to direct and sustain our attention where it is needed can allow unpleasant and unwanted life forces to grow, making our life frustrating and miserable.  

We can choose to treat our attention as random access to life, or we can choose to focus and give sustained attention to those elements in life that we value, want to protect, and desire to grow. Let’s explore the power of attention and how we can use it to our best advantage. 

Attention is a powerful but scarce resource. We might think that attention has no limits, but it does. We cannot pay attention to everything at once. When our attention is scattered, it has little impact. Attention requires us to make choices. When we focus in one area, we cannot simultaneously focus elsewhere. We need to protect, direct, and invest our attention wisely.   

Energy follows attention. We can choose to focus on what bothers us, our worries, and what stresses us. When we do, these elements will sap our energy, undermine our optimism, and leave us feeling anxious and depressed. Alternatively, we can choose to focus on our strengths, what we can control, and pursuit of our goals and priorities. As a result, we can build on what we do well, feel more confident, and see significant and sustained progress toward our goals. 

Attention magnifies its object. What we focus on tends to grow. If we focus on student misbehavior, we are likely to see it grow. If we consistently notice and reinforce appropriate behavior, we are likely to see more of it. When we notice and encourage curiosity, students tend to show more of it. If we focus on compliance with rules rather than commitment to learning, again, we are likely to see more of it.  

Expertise requires sustained attention. Of course, there are some skills that require little time and practice to master. However, skills that offer durability and significant long-term impact typically require practice, depth of understanding, and continued honing. Classroom management experts may make the work look easy, but it is the result of years of focused practice, continued development, and the skill to anticipate and adjust in real time.  

Attention aligned with purpose and values lessens stress. A sense of purpose and clear values can provide hope and confidence in difficult times. Believing that the work is important, feeling a sense of mission, and pursuing what matters can be powerful counterweights in times of pressure and stress. Struggling with a difficult class can be challenging, but it still can feel worth it when we consider how much our students need us and that we are doing the right work. 

Failure to give timely, adequate attention invites disaster. We can be tempted to ignore growing problems, fail to build necessary skills, or push students through even though we know they are not making necessary progress. In the short term, we might convince ourselves that everything is fine. Yet, small problems can become big headaches. Failure to learn new skills needed to serve students can make our work more difficult. And allowing lack of progress to go unaddressed can have long-term life consequences for our students  

There is no question that where we place our attention mattersoften more than we might imagine. Consider this insight from Albert Einstein: “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” 

Do's and Don'ts for Helping Students Through Emotional Conversations

Do's and Don'ts for Helping Students Through Emotional Conversations

When students trust us and see us as a safe and supportive adult in their lives, they often come to us to help them find their way through difficult, emotionally laden, complex life challenges. While we should feel honored that our students value our relationship and judgment, we need to recognize that these can be high-stakes conversations. How we respond, what we say, and the counsel we offer all deserve careful consideration.

We need to convey empathy, sensitivity, clarity, and compassion. Yet, when emotions are high, we can overstep, undermine, and alienate the student without intending or, in some cases, realizing what we have done. We can forget that the goal is to help the student find their way, not take over and solve the situation for them. With this reality in mind, here are five “do's” and five “don’ts” for engaging in high-stakes conversations with students.

Do:

  • Validate the student’s feelings. We might say something like, “I can see that you are really upset” or “This seems very important to you.” We might assure the student that it is okay to feel bad, disappointed, or angry. We may not understand the full extent of their feelings, but we can acknowledge and respect their presence.
  • Stay fully present. Students can sense when we are distracted, impatient, or in a hurry. When this happens, students are likely to shut down and abandon the conversation. Eye contact, open body position, leaning in, and other supportive nonverbal behaviors can encourage students to trust and be open with us. Students want assurance that we care.
  • Listen carefully and actively. Careful listening includes attempting to hear what is not said as well as what is. Head nodding, verbally feeding back what we are hearing, and confirming our understanding reassures students and encourages them to say what is truly on their mind.
  • Keep questions open and neutral. Our questions need to help the student reflect and share. Questions that sound accusatory or blaming can shut down the conversation and leave the student feeling as though we are not supportive and interested in helping them find their way through what they are feeling and experiencing.
  • Be supportive. It is best to ask what we can do to be supportive. The best support is likely to be what the student wants and needs, not what we assume will be helpful. We can’t assume that what would work for us is what will be best for the student. If the student is not sure what they need or what to do, we might offer to work with them to figure out the best solution.

Don’t:

  • Make unfounded assumptions. We may think that we know more than we do. Assuming something that is not true or jumping to premature conclusions can make the situation worse and alienate the student at a time when they desperately need us. Similarly, it is risky to assume that what would work for us in similar circumstances is what would be best for the student.
  • Compare the student’s situation with others. It may be true that other students appear to face greater challenges or more difficult circumstances. However, making comparisons usually is not welcome or helpful. What seems a reasonable comparison to us may feel wildly disconnected from the perspective of the student.
  • Downplay the gravity of the situation. What seems a minor problem and temporary setback to us may feel huge to the student. We need to resist being dismissive, even if the situation sounds blown out of proportion. Similarly, we need to refrain from making judgements based on our own experiences or estimate of the size of the problem. To the student, the situation is troubling and that is enough. 
  • Give advice without permission. The student may just want to be heard. Talking through emotional situations and hearing themselves describe what they are feeling may be all that they need. If we have advice to offer, we might ask the student if they would like advice. Importantly, if the student says “no,” we need to let it go.
  • Rush the conversation or solutions. We may be in a hurry and want to “cut to the chase.” If we do not have time for the conversation, we might suggest a time when we can give our full attention rather than press forward when we feel urgency and can’t give our full attention. Similarly, we may see what seems like a good solution and try to sell it before the student is ready. What is most important is that the student is ready for resolution or deciding next steps. We need to be patient and supportive until the student is ready.

As much as we sometimes want to take control and tell students what they should do when they face a difficult challenge, it usually is best to position ourselves as coaches, reflectors, and supportive advocates. These can be important, informal learning opportunities for our students. We want them to build the confidence and skills to manage the current circumstance and be ready for other challenges that may lie ahead.