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Touchstones for Surviving Tough Classroom Moments

We want to stay focused, in control, and continue to move forward regardless of what each day might bring. Yet, consider the typical day in a classroom. Distractions, disruptions, and detours can come at us in a hurry. The press and stress of these situations can lead us to forget or overlook some of the most effective responses, redirections, and rerouting that can keep the class and learning on track.

The good news is that often a few short phrases and quick reminders can help us to remain in control and move forward despite the pace and chaos of the day. Here are seven pieces of time-tested, sage advice that we can tap and apply to avoid losing focus or momentum.

Seek to connect before trying to correct. Students want to know that we care before they are ready to listen and follow our guidance and direction. If we want students to respond to our corrections, we need to start by establishing connections. The truth is that our effectiveness in redirecting students is more likely to depend on our relationship than the technique we apply to correct their behavior.

Be curious, not furious. Students occasionally will do things that distract and disturb us. Our first reaction can be to become angry and upset. Yet, the truth is that student behavior is driven by purpose. They do things for a reason. If we allow ourselves to react based on how we feel, we risk missing what lies behind student actions and decisions. Doing so can make the situation worse, or lead to having to backtrack once we learn the full story. Rather than allowing our emotions to take over, we do better to inquire, listen, and understand before deciding how to respond.

Give the benefit of the doubt. We may be confused or disappointed by an action a student takes or choice they make. Our first reaction might be to be frustrated and accusatory, especially if the student has a history of poor judgement or misbehavior. However, doing so can lead us to assume the worst and draw negative conclusions about the situation before we fully understand. Consequently, we may miss an opportunity to support, trust, and teach. We may even find ourselves having to apologize for jumping to a negative conclusion, saying something, or acting in a way we later regret. On the other hand, when we assume that students act based on positive intent, we rarely find ourselves regretting our actions or having to apologize.

Don’t confuse students with their behavior. Students can do amazingly frustrating and disappointing things. They can “push our buttons” in ingenious ways. Yet, we need to remember that students’ actions and their identities are not the same. Behaviors are choices students make. They can learn and grow from their mistakes. We need to value students for who they are, not what they have done.

Think and respond, not trigger and react. In the heat of the moment, we can find ourselves susceptible to emotional triggers. We can react to situations without thinking. We might even feel as though a student’s behavior made us do what we did. Unfortunately, our reaction often leads to regret. In truth, there exists a crucial gap between a student’s action and our response. We can choose to pause, think, and choose before we act. This split-second decision gives us the power to control our behavior and respond with better judgement and a more effective response.

De-escalate before trying to educate. Hearing and responding effectively is especially difficult when emotions are high. Trying to modify behavior or teach a lesson when students are upset or agitated usually is futile. In fact, it can escalate the situation. A calm voice, offering supportive choices, and relaxed demeanor usually will be more effective in the moment. Once the student has had some time to calm down, discussion about what happened, what needs to be learned, and planning for the future will be better received and more effective.

Leverage expectations to lift performance. It has been said that we get what we expect. While holding high expectations of our students does not always mean that everyone will immediately respond by accelerating their learning and achieving complete success, our belief that students can learn, grow, and improve makes a difference. Decades of research demonstrate that what teachers believe about the learning potential of their students has an impact on how they perform. We may wonder if there is a danger of expecting too much. Yet rarely is this a problem. In fact, the consequences of expecting too little are far more worrisome.

If some of these points resonate with you and you want to remember them when experiencing behavior challenges in the classroom, consider putting them on sticky notes and placing them in prominent places as reminders. Alternatively, some of these insights can be good mantras to repeat and reflect on as you prepare for a day that you expect to be especially challenging. Of course, some or all these nuggets may already be part of your daily routine. If so, keep up the good work.

September 18, 2025

Your Students Not Behaving? Check These Six Potential Culprits

Occasionally, our students may pay less attention to our direction and respond less to our discipline than we expect. Of course, we are all well aware that student behavior can vary in response to several forces and factors. The time of the year and proximity to calendar breaks can have an impact. Special events and occasions in their personal lives can also be distractions.

However, when we account for these elements, and any others we might factor in, and still find that students are not responding as we expect, we need to consider other potential causes. A good place to start is by examining our behavior and our approach to correction and redirection. Here are six common, but potentially troublesome, discipline approaches that are worthy of review and, if necessary, adjustment.

Culprit #1: Inconsistency. Addressing misbehavior at one time and ignoring it at other times can be a recipe for future misbehavior. Students seek predictability and stability, so when our behavior is inconsistent, they can become confused about our expectations. Also, when our choices to ignore or address behavior appear to favor some students, other students may conclude that our behavior is evidence of favoritism and even bias. The result can be growing resentment and increasing misbehavior.

Fix: Set only the rules and expectations you intend to enforce. Commit to addressing misbehavior regardless of the student, with exceptions occurring only when you have a good reason to do so.

Culprit #2: Failure to follow through. Giving directions and making threats that are not enforced sets the stage for future problems. Empty threats can lead to lack of respect and students ignoring established rules and expectations. Failing to follow through undermines our authority and diminishes student respect. As noted earlier, students seek consistency and predictability.

Fix: Resist making threats or promises in anger or when you are not committed. When you promise an action, be certain to honor it. If circumstances change and you need to adjust your stance or actions, be transparent about the reason.

Culprit #3: Excessive negative reinforcement. While we need to give attention to unacceptable behavior, we must also be quick to notice and reinforce appropriate behavior. The focus of our attention matters. If we spend most of our time correcting and enforcing consequences, students who seek attention are more likely to misbehave. Meanwhile, students who choose to follow directions and respond to our expectations can feel ignored and undervalued.

Fix: Be conscious of how much time you spend correcting and admonishing students. Seek a balance of time and attention in favor of positive reinforcement for appropriate behavior, good choices, and other positive actions.

Culprit #4: Public shaming. Writing names on the board, keeping track of misbehavior with sticks and stickers, and confronting students in front of the classmates leads to embarrassment and students feeling shamed. Shaming can lead to lingering resentment and become the cause of future misbehavior. Some students may feel they need to push back to avoid looking weak in front of their peers. Without intending, we can find ourselves having to deal with even more serious misbehavior in response to our approach.

Fix: Whenever possible, address student misbehavior in private. Distracting and disruptive behavior may require our immediate attention to redirect the offending student, but reserve extended discussion and consequences for a private setting when you can.

Culprit #5: Ignoring the cause. Behavior choices are made with purpose, even if students are not fully conscious of the reason. If we ignore or fail to understand the cause, we may be inadvertently reinforcing or escalating the behavior. Failing to understand and address the cause of misbehavior can make the situation worse.

Fix: Resist assuming the cause of misbehavior whenever possible. Take a minute to reflect before responding. When practical, have a conversation with the student to explore what is behind the behavior and how the root cause might be addressed.

Culprit #6: Overreacting. When in frustration or in response to other emotions we exaggerate or dramatize the significance of misbehavior, we expose the situation to escalation. Our behavior can become the issue. We can create hostility and engender a sense of unfairness. Of course, underreacting can also lead to confusion and assumptions that some unacceptable behavior is acceptable.

Fix: Use the gap between what a student does or says and your response to consider how much response is required. Sometimes “the look” is all that is needed. At other times, a brief comment or redirection is enough. The key is to match our response to the seriousness of the situation, but we need to avoid having our current mood drive what we say or do.

Obviously, most—if not all—of these potential missteps are familiar. However, in the fast-paced and distraction-filled context within which we manage our classrooms, it can be easy to forget, ignore, or let slip what we know to be effective management and discipline strategies. A brief review can head off problems before they grow and place us and our students back on track for behavioral and academic success.

September 26, 2024

Five Behavior Consequences to Consider with Caution

We want our students to behave acceptably and appropriately in our class and school. We also want them to learn and internalize the value and worth of behaving in a manner that is respectful and appropriate to the circumstances in which they find themselves. Obviously, this is mostly a teaching-and-learning process rather than a shaming-and-punishing practice.

Nevertheless, we can find ourselves in situations with students where they are ignoring our direction or failing to engage in acceptable behavior. These are times to ask ourselves how we might teach, nurture, and reinforce the behavior we seek. There may even be occasions when we enlist the student in discussing and deciding the best course of action to take.

Many good options exist from which we can choose when we need to modify a student’s behavior. However, there are some actions that, while they may have been viewed as acceptable by or even popular with some, carry significant risks to our relationships and can have lasting negative consequences for students who experience them. Here are five consequences for misbehavior that carry significant risk and deserve to be reconsidered.

Consequence #1: Ostracizing.

Choosing to “freeze out” a student or have the rest of the class ignore and not respond to a student is a high-risk action. We can permanently damage our and the class’s relationship with the student. Being noticed, belonging, and feeling included are powerful forces. When we deny our attention and reject our connection with students, the impact can be deep and lasting. Similarly, if we direct the rest of the class to ignore and refuse to engage a student, we place their sense of belonging in the class and with friends at risk. This consequence, if enacted in the context of a student who already may be struggling with identity, suffering from trauma, or dealing with other life issues, can have devastating consequences. For students who already struggle to form and maintain relationships, we may drive the student away rather than achieve the behavior change we seek.

Consequence #2: Threatening summer school.

We may say to students that if they fail to focus and do as they are told now, they will end up having to spend their summer vacation in summer school. However, positioning summer school as a negative consequence can make it a dreaded experience rather than an opportunity to strengthen learning skills and catch up on content. Further, depending on the time of the year and the age and maturity of the student, summer may seem like a long time into the future and have little immediate impact on their thinking and behavior.

Consequence #3: Assigning collective consequences.

We might think that by assigning consequences to the entire class, such as holding them after the bell or making them wait and be late to go to lunch, would be an effective way to bring peer pressure and change the actions of students exhibiting unacceptable behavior. However, the impact is likely to be the opposite. Students who do not have strong relationships with classmates, or who seek attention regardless of its form, may find the experience empowering. It is true that marshalling the entire class in pursuit of a shared, positive goal can build connectedness and increase shared commitment, but the opposite is not necessarily true. Consequences shared by students whose behavior does not deserve it can lead to conflict and resentment rather than camaraderie.

Consequence #4: Predicting future failure.

What we say, including our predictions, can have a profound and lasting impact on how our students see themselves and their future. Out of frustration, we might make a negative prediction about the future of a student; even if the goal is to convince the student to work harder now and avoid the future we predict, we risk the student accepting our words at face value. The student may already believe that they are not capable of learning success, and our words represent further proof.

Consequence #5: Denying recess.

This one is more so for our primary counterparts, as secondary schools typically do not schedule time for recess. Recess and other breaks from active learning can play a variety of roles for students. It may be a time to take the edge off pent-up energy and release accumulated stress from sitting quietly. It can be a time for connecting with friends and learning how to manage and resolve conflicts. It can also serve as a brain break, a time for reflection and making sense of what was just learned. While the consequence may make our point, it can lead to even less focus, more fidgeting, and additional acting out.

Without question, there are times when students frustrate us. We can feel as though we are out of options for modifying their behavior. These are times to step back, reflect, consult a colleague, or engage another school resource to help us identify promising options and alternatives. We need to avoid having today’s frustration become tomorrow’s relationship barrier.

September 12, 2024