Getting Past an Us vs. Them Mentality
Schools perform a wide array of functions and depend on many people to accomplish them. Naturally, within this context, people develop relationships and alliances with others who may perform similar functions or share other connections. These affiliations often lead to sharing expertise, building a sense of belonging, and creating alliances.
Unfortunately, they also can lead to separation among groups. For example, some teachers may see their interests and priorities as different from administrators. Or some may perceive staff in other roles as competition. Other issues and perceptions can result in other types and levels of separation within the school.
Over time, these perceptions can solidify into an “us versus them” mentality. When this happens, communication can break down, collaboration may suffer, and identities separate. The separation often produces reduced levels of morale, increased resentment, and even burnout.
Students, too, can suffer when adults adopt an “us versus them” mentality. Services may not be well coordinated, support may become disjointed, and learning opportunities may diminish. Of course, students are likely to sense the conflict and resentment among adults they depend on and feel torn and stressed as a result.
So, what can be done if we find that an “us versus them” mentality is developing or is already present? Fortunately, with commitment, patience, and persistence, “us versus them” thinking can be overcome. Here are six steps to get started.
Focus on purpose, not position.
Everyone has a role to play in accomplishing the school’s mission. When the emphasis is on the goal of student success and everyone shares in the work, there are far more reasons to collaborate, partner, and support than to separate, silo, and single out. The mission of schools is multi-faceted. Success depends on everyone’s contribution. Viewing some members or groups as “others” makes the work more difficult and less satisfying. When we realize that we are all in the work together and we need each other to fully succeed, working together becomes easier. Sharing student stories, highlighting the impact of shared efforts, and mining data for new ideas and opportunities can create energy, promote shared ownership, and mutual appreciation.
Insight: Shared purpose can create connections, energy, and mutual respect.
Invite input early and often.
Listening sessions and open discussions that are taken seriously matter, but only if what is said is considered and used to guide deliberations. Input that is invited too late in planning and decision making can fuel resentment rather than trust and support. Willingness to wrestle with difficult questions may feel risky at first, but over time, openness and dialogue can build high levels of trust and lead to better decisions.
Insight: Input matters only if it is timely taken and heeded.
Commit to decision making transparency.
Knowing the “why” behind decisions can go a long way toward creating understanding, even when not everyone agrees with the outcome. When the factors, processes, and criteria that drive decisions are shared throughout the process, much of the mystery and suspicion can be avoided. When everyone understands the objectives, constraints, and options considered, trust grows.
Insight: Transparency strengthens decision credibility.
Create cross functional teams.
Bringing varied experience and expertise to focus on problems and design new initiatives can prevent foreseeable problems, build ownership for decisions, and create longer lasting solutions. Similarly, forming teams of teachers and administrators to conduct instructional rounds followed by reflection and analysis can surface examples of excellence to build on and opportunities for improvement. Planning, celebrating, and solving problems together can dispel faulty assumptions, build mutual understanding, and lower mental walls that can get in the way.
Insight: Diverse perspectives and varied experience will open the door to new possibilities.
Engage in productive conflict.
Avoiding conflict and ignoring tension reinforces separation and undermines trust. Honesty, respect, and clarity do the opposite. Having norms and processes to deal with disagreement such as assuming positive intentions, remaining open and curious, and committing to focus on issues and ideas rather than people can help to keep conflict respectful and productive. People will not and should not always agree, but they should always feel heard and respected.
Insight: Engaging in conflict that leads to understanding is more important than finding agreement.
Make wins “we” celebrations.
“We” language can send a powerful message of collaboration and appreciation. It is not “my” staff or “my” team, it is “our” staff and “our” team. Recognizing shared achievement leads to shared identity. Think: “We solved this problem.” “We improved this process.” “And we are making a difference for students.” Success as a school always is a shared effort and accomplishment.
Insight: Shared credit builds shared identity.
Finding common ground and forming shared identities takes time. However, the benefits of everyone sharing in the mission, committing to listening, engaging in productive conflict, and building trust far outweigh the effort required.