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What Great Educators Say and Why It Matters

Great educators come in many forms and from varied backgrounds, and they often display unique characteristics, styles, and other idiosyncrasies. They may be a little quirky, have unusual habits, or dress in ways that are out of the norm, or they may look, act, and engage students in their own version of a more traditional manner. However, despite their variations, they share several crucial characteristics, including language that builds trust, encourages and reinforces effort, and stretches students’ thinking.

Of course, some students may be intrigued by quirkiness, and others may appreciate those more traditional perspectives and styles. Regardless, students universally want to feel trust, be supported, and be challenged in ways that lead to success, even when their behavior at the moment signals something else. Whether you are a teacher, an administrator, or another school staff member, the greatest educators use language that conveys these core elements and assurances. Here are nine examples of phrases and questions that send these crucial messages to students (or colleagues!):

“I appreciate you.” Gratitude is a powerful emotion for both the source and the recipient. It builds relationships and nurtures a sense of belonging. Gratitude has been shown to have a profound effect on the brain, including reducing stress and releasing feel-good chemicals such as serotonin and dopamine.

“Thanks for saying/doing that.” This appreciative phrase assures students that their actions were noticed. When students hear words of appreciation, they are reminded that they are seen and valued, and when the source is a person whom they respect, the impact can be even greater.

“I’m here if you need help.” This phrase offers reassurance that the student is not alone. Regardless of the challenges and struggles that lie ahead, support and assistance can be summoned and accessed when needed. This statement also frees students to take risks and to know that they have a “safety net” they can rely on.

“We’ll work on that.” This phrase offers multiple benefits. First, it recognizes that there is work to be done and that effort and progress are expected. Second, the statement offers support and collaboration to address the challenge. Third, it conveys hope and confidence that success does indeed lie ahead.

“Why do you think that?” This question encourages students to reflect on what they believe or assume about the topic or task before them. It encourages students to deepen their thinking and search for evidence to support or refute their current opinion.

“You’re on the right track.” This phrase offers encouragement while recognizing that there is more work to be done and progress to be made. It offers hope while maintaining high expectations for learning.

“What can you try when you feel stuck?” Asking this question encourages students to take ownership of their learning and builds a sense of independence in their efforts. When paired with the assurance that feeling stuck is often the final step before a learning breakthrough, this phrase also offers hope.

“What will you do differently next time?” Reflection is a crucial but often overlooked element in learning. Taking time after a learning attempt or completed task to explore what worked, what didn’t, and what else might be considered can solidify progress and encourage students to expand the array of strategies they consider.

“I’m going to push your thinking here.” Students can be overconfident in their thinking. This phrase recognizes and respects the student’s thinking, but it also signals that there is more to consider. It reinforces high expectations while pressing or building on what the student already knows or assumes.

The words and phrases we use every day influence the culture and learning conditions in our classrooms. Consequently, it is worth asking ourselves what our go-to phrases are and how they support or distract from our students’ learning. Even small shifts in our language can make a big difference in learning.

May 14, 2026

When You Must Deliver Bad News

We all have them—those moments we dread but cannot avoid. Among these times is the need to deliver bad news that we know will disappoint, frustrate, or even hurt someone we respect. Yet, this is the time of year when many important and difficult decisions are made. Of course, once decisions are made, they must be communicated to those affected by them. This reality means we can anticipate some difficult and emotional conversations.

Changes in assignment, lack of promotion, and denial of resource requests are just a few examples of decisions that impact people’s lives and work, and they must be communicated clearly and compassionately. Difficult conversations at this time of the year can also include sharing disappointing news with parents and students.

Regardless of the specific situation, when we must share bad news, we need to do so with thought, sensitivity, and empathy. We also need to plan carefully, deliver the news with clarity and credibility, and follow up appropriately. Here is a three-part framework we can use to position and conduct the conversation in a manner that holds the greatest potential to convey the intended message without undermining trust and creating undue resentment.

Preparing for the conversation:

Be clear about why. Few things can erode credibility and trust more than a lack of a clear, justifiable reason or rationale for the news. What factors, evidence, policies, or other elements explain and support the message? Make sure you can explain the situation clearly and concisely. Stumbling and hesitation can weaken the message. Be sure to “pressure test” the rationale and your reasoning before attempting to communicate the news.

Anticipate how the news will be received. Depending on the nature and impact of the message, you might anticipate disappointment, shock, anger, embarrassment, or other emotions. While preventing these reactions may not be possible, you can plan for them and be emotionally prepared. As examples, you may hear claims of unfairness or perceptions of not being valued. You might also anticipate questions about what happens next and what options are available to mitigate or change the outcome. Thinking through how the news might be received and what follow-up questions are likely to arise can increase your comfort and make the conversation go more smoothly.

Find the best time and place. Difficult conversations can take time. Schedule the meeting so you will not feel rushed or need to stop it before it is finished. Avoid having the conversation immediately before a weekend or break when support and follow-up are less likely to be available. Also, select a private place where the conversation is unlikely to be interrupted.

During the conversation:

Get to the point. Clarity and directness can alleviate anxiety. Having a long build-up or introducing unrelated topics can create confusion and undermine the message. A simple statement such as “I have some difficult news to share” can set the stage. Follow with a clear and concise description of the situation. Share the decision, explain the rationale, and describe the next steps. Avoid blaming or attacking anyone’s character. Rather, focus on behaviors, circumstances, and other factors that contributed to the decision.

Pause and create space for a reaction. Don’t let nervousness or discomfort with silence prevent you from giving the other person time to process the news. Extra explanation can create side issues and complicate the situation. Watch for emotional cues and respond empathetically, but avoid trying to dismiss or fix the situation. Telling someone not to worry or that everything will be fine is more likely to be read as thoughtless than helpful.   

Stay calm. Depending on the news you must deliver, emotions may quickly escalate, and you could become the target of accusations. It is important to remain calm and grounded. Avoid responding to emotions and frustrations and allowing the situation to spiral. Stay focused on the facts, implications, and evidence. If needed, you might pause the conversation and set a time to resume it when the person has had time to think and is calmer. 

Following the conversation:

Clarify the next steps. Conclude the conversation with specific information on next steps, timelines for action, and any expectations the other person must meet. Also, be sure to explain and offer any support available, such as assisting with transitions or coaching to address performance concerns.

Document the conversation. Create a written record of what was discussed including next steps, support offered, and any other relevant elements of the conversation. Memories can be faulty and become skewed, especially in the aftermath of emotional conversations. A record of the conversation can offer protection for everyone involved and be a useful reminder of any needed follow-up.

Follow up. Once the other person has had time to think and process the news, they will likely have questions. They may also need clarification on some implications and next steps. Inviting questions and clearing up confusion can prevent future problems and reaffirm your care and concern.

Sharing bad news is rarely easy. Still, it's crucial to handle it as well as possible. Fortunately, with thoughtful planning; compassionate, clear delivery; and prompt, supportive follow-up, we can convey the message without sacrificing trust and credibility.

May 07, 2026

The Power of “Never”: Advice Students Won’t Forget

We typically avoid telling students what not to do in favor of giving them concrete, positive directions. For example, we might say, “Plant your feet on the sidewalk” rather than “Don’t walk on the grass.” Among the benefits of this approach is to give students a clear understanding of what is expected; we provide students with a clear picture of what to do, not just what not to do.

Nevertheless, there are some benefits attached to occasionally giving negatively framed advice. Negative framing can convey urgency. When framed as advice, what we say can feel protective rather than demanding. The unusualness of its negative framing can also make it memorable, and maybe even empowering. Advice framed as something one should never do can also feel more like guardrails for behavior rather than demands for compliance.

The end of the year is a good time to offer final advice and share our experiences and insights on life. Of course, we could frame our advice as positive and action-focused. However, we might find our advice to be even more effective if presented in a different frame. What if we shared our advice as “never ever do ____”? Here are seven examples of life advice that we can present as thinking and actions “never ever” to engage in.

Never ever allow someone to define who you are and what you can accomplish. No one has the right to define who another person is, nor can they determine what someone else can accomplish. Establish high goals, be your best self, and consider what someone else thinks only when they are aiming higher than you.

Insight: The future is yours to determine.

Never ever avoid something just because it is difficult this is where learning and life most often happen. Things that are challenging may not be pleasant, but they often offer the greatest rewards. Learning that requires struggle leads to deeper understanding and can stay in your memory longer.

Insight: What comes to us too easily often leaves us just as easily.

Never ever allow fear to keep you from going after what you want. Fear can be a powerful force, as it can make us hesitate and second-guess something we might later regret. However, fear should never come between what you want and what you will pursue. When something makes you fearful, ask yourself, “What would I do if I were not afraid?” The answer is often a good indicator of what you should do.

Insight: Fear wins when it keeps us from what we value and what we want to achieve.

Never ever trade what you really want for what you can have right now. When we are faced with the dilemma of an immediate reward and a delayed, even greater reward, we may be tempted to go for instant gratification. Unfortunately, while we may enjoy that immediate reward, before long we are likely to regret not waiting and working toward what we really want. It is true that working, saving, and persisting can take time and delay rewards, but waiting can be worth it.

Insight: Rewards that come after we have earned them almost always offer greater long-term happiness and satisfaction.

Never ever conflate a bad grade, a bad day, or a single bad experience with your worth. Life happens. Our experiences are not always what we choose. We make mistakes and missteps. Yet these are nothing more than incidents. They are not who we are. Mistakes are information we can use to improve, and missteps are just opportunities to learn and keep going. Much can be shown about our character in how we respond when something does not goes our way.

Insight: Success is determined by what we do with what happens to us, not the fact that it does.

Never ever allow a temporary setback to become a permanent condition. If we are learning, stretching, and growing, setbacks are inevitable. Trying things that do not work out the first time is part of life; they do not mean that we cannot succeed with reflection, new strategies, and practice. Setbacks may tell us what will not work, but they do not mean there is no path forward.

Insight: Setbacks can be lessons, but they are not verdicts on what is possible.

Never ever underestimate the power of small, consistent actions. Success in life is more likely to result from the small, seemingly insignificant things we do every day than it is to be the result of a single action or breakthrough. The power of this advice lies in the Japanese philosophy, kaizen. Kaizen involves learning and doing at least one thing every day to learn, grow, and make something better. Over time, the impact of many small actions can be huge for our success.

Insight: Without consistent actions in support of our goals, success in life is likely to remain more a dream than a reality.

We have worked hard to build impactful relationships with our students and to instill credibility in our guidance and advice. Consequently, what we share with students as they are about to leave us is likely to be heard and remembered. In fact, we should not be surprised if years from now, we encounter students who recall and can share specific life lessons, insights, and advice we taught them, especially at this time of year.

May 07, 2026

Seven Subtle Ways We Make Students Feel Seen and Valued

Students want to know and be frequently reassured that we see them, and they belong in our classroom. We might think that such reassurance should happen naturally. Often it does. However, some students seek and need more frequent reassurance than others.

Students pay attention to many seemingly small, subtle signs to reinforce that we notice and value their presence. The truth is that many students do not want us to be obvious and public in our messaging. They seek reassurance, not embarrassment.

The good news is that we send many of these messages naturally, without planning or spending extra time. If fact, when we see and respect our students, we often do and say things that reassure them. Here are seven of the most common and effective messages of noticing and inclusion.

Using students’ names to affirm and reinforce, not just to direct or correct. Saying things like “Good insight, Axel.” And “Interesting idea, Alice.” can send powerful messages about our valuing of and respect for students. The comfortable and natural use of students’ names reaffirms that we see and respect them.

Remembering seemingly small details. Students are especially sensitive to our recalling information about their interests, hobbies, and life. We might comment on a favorite book they mentioned, ask about a hobby they pursue, or we might ask about a sport, musical instrument, or project they are working on. Of course, knowing a student’s birthday and congratulating them can be a special bonus.

Engaging students at eye level. For young students this may mean our kneeling or sitting to better match their height. For older students standing near them and having eye contact without crowding or hovering can convey a similar message.

Responding non-verbally when students speak. We might nod our head, raise an eyebrow, or shrug our shoulders, depending on what the student is saying. How we physically respond can be equally or even more powerful than what we say in response.

Resisting the urge to interrupt or correct. We may think that we know what the student is going to say and we have the answer, we may want to immediately correct them, or we may just be in a hurry. Regardless, letting students speak without interruption is a sign of respect and worth.

Pausing briefly once students finish speaking. We might briefly pause to be sure the student is finished. We might provide space for the student to reflect and possibly think of something more to add. Or we might pause to reassure the student that we are listening and considering what they have said.

Recording and referencing what students say. We might turn and write a student’s idea or observation in a public space, such as on a whiteboard. Or we might later reference what a student has said in the context of our comments without necessarily using their name. For example, we might say, “Recall what someone earlier said…” The student will know that they were the source and we will have had the impact we intended.

We all want to feel as though we are noticed and belong. When we have this reassurance, we are freer to take risks, more confident in forming relationships, and freer to be ourselves. Our students feel the same. Fortunately, we have it in our power to create and offer this assurance.

March 05, 2026

“Hey Students! I Want Your Attention!”

Gaining and holding student attention is a daily, hourly, and—sometimes—even a minute-by-minute challenge. We need students’ attention if we want them to learn, whether we are engaging with them individually or as a group. However, finding and choosing the right approaches can be challenging.

Of course, we can take a direct path by telling students to pay attention, but such admonitions can become routine and their power to attract attention can diminish. Threats can lose their impact and often repeated exhortations become background noise.

The best attention-grabbing approaches tend to be interesting invitations, surprising promises, and compelling requests. Additionally, holding student attention is easiest when they see a purpose for what they are learning, or how it will play a meaningful role in what will happen. Here are seven phrases we can use as starting places to capture and hold the attention of our students, depending on the topic, issue, or subject.

“Have you ever wondered why ________ happens? Today we are going to find out.” This question can be a great way to create interest and spark curiosity. Of course, some students may never have given the issue or circumstance any thought, but our introduction is an invitation to consider and a promise to discover something new.

“I am curious to hear your thoughts on something I am considering.” This statement communicates our interest in how students will respond to something that we are thinking about or planning. We are seeking their perspectives and offering to consider what they think before we decide.

“Let’s think about this in a different way.” These words send a message that there are different ways to approach an issue or think about a problem. The invitation can be a timely way to nudge students from becoming stuck in a less than helpful way of considering a problem or confronting a challenge. It also can be a strategy to help students reframe something that has happened in their lives or with their learning.

“I think you are going to find this interesting.” This statement sets the stage and invites students to listen for something novel, surprising, ironic, or engaging. It can be utilized to introduce a mystery, a surprising fact, or an unusual happening. The idea is to draw notice, create readiness, and build curiosity for what will come next.

“Tell me a little more about that.” This request invites students to continue to share information or details on a topic about which they have already spoken. It can be a way of collecting information related to an incident, a feeling, or an area of confusion. Importantly, this statement communicates our interest in, and our valuing of what students say.

“Can I ask a favor?” This question may seem curious. Yet, it is powerful. Asking a favor is a compliment. It implies that the other person has the power to accomplish something that would be helpful to us or others. It also gives the person who does the favor a sense of value and our respect.

“Let me tell you a story.” The prospect of a story is inherently interesting. Our brains are wired for stories. We might recount something from our experience, share a metaphor, provide an example within a narrative, or place an aspect of what is to be learned in the context of a storyline.

What other phrases, invitations, questions, or requests have you found to be useful in attracting and holding students’ attention? Be sure to share your best strategies with colleagues and collect the “best of their best.” The more options we have to choose from, the more likely we will be to find what works.

February 24, 2026

Not All Praise Is Equal: 3 Types to Choose and Use

Praise can be an effective way to compliment students, reinforce their behavior, and motivate them to do even better. However, not all types of praise are the same or equal. In fact, using certain types of praise can work against our goal of having students accept and use said praise to improve.

We might think of praise as falling into three categories: personal praise, effort-based praise, and behavior-specific praise. Each type of praise can play a role in relationships, but they are not all equally effective in motivating behavior. Let’s examine the types of praise we might choose to employ and how each might be perceived and utilized by students.

Personal praise is most common in general conversation. We might say things like, “You are so talented.” “You are a natural athlete.” Or “You are so good at math.” Our words may be true, and we may feel good having said them. What we say can also feel good to the student and temporarily build their confidence, but this type of praise is not a powerful motivator. In fact, personal praise is the least powerful type of praise. Personal praise typically focuses on things that come easily to students, such as talents, skills, and characteristics. These characteristics may be nice to have, but students are likely to see them as inherent qualities over which they have little control, and they may not be enough when the student faces the next task or challenge. Consequently, students may be reluctant to take future risks or persist in the face of difficult challenges, feeling that what we are praising is outside of their control and may not be enough to propel them to succeed.

The second type of praise is effort-based praise. We might use words like, “I can see how much effort you are putting into this task.” “You did not give up even though the work was hard.” Or “Your practice is making a big difference.” This type of praise focuses on strategies the student is using, the persistence they are demonstrating, and the improvement they are showing. Effort-based praise is more powerful because it emphasizes elements within the student’s control. It highlights investment of energy, effort, and focus, all of which students can manage. Praise for effort encourages students to continue and even increase their energy and effort investment. However, we need to be careful not to communicate that effort alone will always be enough or students may eventually give up without trying different approaches or searching for better tools and strategies.

A third category of praise is behavior-specific praise. When giving this type of praise we might say, “You stayed calm even though you were clearly frustrated.” “You paid close attention to details and avoided mistakes.” Or “You were organized and prepared and it showed.” Like effort-based praise, behavior-specific praise focuses on elements and actions that students can control. The power of this type of praise lies in its clarity and preciseness. It clarifies what is expected and reinforces its importance. Behavior-specific praise also reinforces actions that are repeatable. Further, since the focus is on what students have done correctly, they are better able to replicate and improve their work. They hear not just that they have done well, they have information to use going forward.

When choosing to use praise as a strategy to reinforce and stimulate behavior, there are several observations and considerations that warrant our attention:

Combining effort-based and behavior-specific praise is most the powerful form of praise.

Praise often needs to be paired with feedback to help students see their current state of progress, what has worked, and what might be good next steps.

Overuse of praise can reduce intrinsic motivation and lead to over dependence on the approval of others.

Praise students as soon as possible after they demonstrate the behavior to be reinforced.

Insincerity when giving praise can easily backfire as many students are especially sensitive to attempts to manipulate.

Avoid making comparisons to other students when giving praise.

In summary, we might choose to give students personal praise when an observation or compliment is all that we intend and there is no expectation for improvement. On the other hand, when we want students to understand what they have done well and how to do even better, effort-based and behavior specific praise are better options.

February 19, 2026

Share Your Tips & Stories

Share your story and the tips you have for getting through this challenging time. It can remind a fellow school leader of something they forgot, or your example can make a difficult task much easier and allow them to get more done in less time. We may publish your comments.

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The High Costs of Motivating Students with Negative Approaches

Convincing students to do what we want and need them to do can be a challenge. Admittedly, some students are easily motivated by a challenge, a relevant topic, or even the expectation that they accomplish a task or learn a skill. Yet, other students respond less positively or not at all to generic motivational efforts and approaches. We may think that the only way to motivate them is to rely on fear, threats, shame, or criticism.

Negative motivational approaches often seem as though they work—at least in the near term. When we threaten students with negative consequences such as failure or public shame, they often comply—at least while we are watching. When the choice is to criticize students as being lazy or careless, it may seem that they give more effort or pay closer attention—for the moment.

However, negative motivational approaches often come with a high price. Consider:

Demands for compliance rarely result in long-term learning commitment.
Criticism can erode confidence in learning potential.
Threats can lead to avoidance of punishment or disapproval rather than learning driven by curiosity and creativity.
Discouraging and harsh comments are more apt to leave students feeling unsafe and disliked than motivated.
Coercive approaches are more likely to generate resentment, avoidance, and even defiance rather than to motivate.

Some people may argue that they know their students, and they are able to discern when a negative approach is necessary. In the short term, they might appear to have a point. They may seem to stimulate the behavior they demand via negative approaches. However, what is less obvious and more important are the long-term consequences that negative motivational attempts can generate such as:

Diminished trust.
Reduced self-respect.
Lower levels of self-confidence.
Weaker self-regulation behaviors and skills.
Increased dependence on others for direction.
Greater needs for external validation.

So, what are some positive alternatives to dependence on negative motivational strategies? Here are six options to consider and build on:

Correct behavior while affirming the student’s worth and potential.
Reaffirm student agency through choices, recognition of progress, and goal setting.
Offer positive pressure through attainable challenges, clear goals, and timely feedback and encouragement.
Connect learning to student interests, purpose, growth, and service to others.
Notice and reinforce effort, progress, and goal achievement.
Hold high expectations and support students to meet them.

Without question, motivation is a crucial element in learning. Finding ways to motivate and teach students how to motivate themselves can be challenging. However, resorting to negative motivational strategies comes with significant risks for students that can be lifelong. The additional time and thought required to stimulate learning interest and commitment via positive approaches are more than worth the effort and can benefit students long after they leave us.

January 21, 2026

Seven Common Teacher Phrases That Can Undermine Learning

Teaching involves lots of talking. We introduce new concepts and skills, provide guidance and support, offer feedback and direction—all of which require verbal cues and interactions. It is also true that what we say, the words we choose, and the timing of our communication matter.

Unfortunately, over time, our speech can fall into patterns that feel natural, but we may give little thought to the messages they carry. They may be phrases and statements that we heard from our teachers, or they may just seem useful in the moment. Nevertheless, what we say can have a greater impact than we realize. Let’s examine seven common teacher statements that can shut down engagement and undermine learning.

We don’t have time for questions.

We might be reluctant to interrupt a planned lesson or the flow of an ongoing explanation. However, questions are indicators of curiosity, confusion, and interest in learning. Ignoring or refusing questions risks stifling curiosity, deepening confusion, and fostering disengagement. Whenever practical, we need to take questions as they surface. If the answer to a question can wait, we might invite the student to hold the question and promise to address it at the conclusion of the current activity. Or we might signal that an opportunity for questions is coming soon and ask students to jot down their questions so they are captured and can be addressed.

I just explained this.

This statement may be correct, but if students were not listening, couldn’t hear us, or the explanation was not clear to them, they won’t be able to use our explanation to move their learning forward. Rather than pointing out that an explanation has been given, we might focus on what students did not hear or understand. Checking for understanding is likely to be more supportive of learning than focusing on what students should have heard and understood.

You need to try harder.

The amount of effort a student is giving may be inadequate to support development of the intended learning. However, effort is only one contributor to learning success. Focusing on effort alone can leave students feeling unable to succeed and with nowhere to turn. Good strategy, deep reflection, sense making, and effective use of resources also are crucial to learning growth. Balancing effort with other contributing elements can give students multiple places to find success.

This should be easy.

The fact is that what may seem easy to us or even for some other students may not be easy for all students. Declaring that a learning task should be easy risks discouraging or undermining the confidence of students for whom the new concept or skill requires struggle. The implication of the statement is that if the learning task is not easy, it is the students’ fault, or that the student is not a good learner.

You should already know this.

It may be true that we have already taught students what they need to know to be successful with a current learning challenge. However, our teaching is not the same as student learning and recall. Our verbal observation of what may be obvious suggests that the problem lies with the student, when the cause may be shared or at least more complicated. Rather than lamenting what students do not know or do not recall, our time will be better spent, and students will be better served by refreshing, reviewing, or reteaching what students need to know to be successful.

You are so smart.

On the surface, praising a student’s intelligence may seem like a good confidence builder. Yet, the statement implies that the student was successful because of his or her intelligence alone. Unfortunately, intelligence by itself can only take learning so far. Without good strategies and effective effort, students can encounter challenges for which their intelligence alone is no match. Consequently, students may give up, believing they are not smart enough to go any further. Alternatively, they may avoid learning challenges that risk revealing that they are not as intelligent as we assume.

Just follow these steps.

Following dictated steps might lead to a correct answer, but it does not necessarily lead to learning. Not knowing why or understanding the relationship between actions and outcomes can leave students dependent on remembering the steps to take, not why the steps are important or how they lead to a correct answer. Further, this admonition suggests that there is a single way of solving a problem or finding an answer, while in most situations multiple paths can lead to success.

We have much to say to students and they have much to learn from us. It is worth the effort to examine the common phrases we use and the exhortations we depend on to urge students to learn. We need to lift students up and focus their attention on where it will make the greatest difference. Consequently, we need to choose our words carefully.

January 15, 2026

How to Be a Light for Someone This Season

During this time of the year, the days are shorter and natural light is present for fewer hours. Yet, this month is still known as the season of lights; we hang lights, decorate with lights, celebrate with lights, and marvel at the beauty lights can project. At a time when we cannot necessarily depend on light from natural sources, we create, display, and share light to brighten our lives and the lives of others.

When light is scarce, we are keener to celebrate its presence. In fact, light at this time of year does not just seem to shine brighter, it travels farther. Light that might be barely noticeable in bright sunshine can be a penetrating beacon during a dark night. We notice it more and are drawn to it. The greater the darkness, the greater the impact light has on and in our lives.

Of course, this phenomenon is not just physical. A similar relationship exists emotionally and psychologically. When life feels darkest—when we experience disappointment, endure depression, and experience sadness—we appreciate the “light” that people around us bring, share, and ignite in our lives.

Amid the celebrations that accompany this holiday season, we do well to consider the light we can offer to and inspire in the lives of those around us: students, colleagues, friends, family, and others with whom our lives intersect. The good news is that bringing light into the lives of others does not have to be a big event nor does it require excessive effort. Often a little thought, some awareness, and a measure of attention are all that is required to brighten the day of someone who is experiencing emotional darkness. Here are a few examples to consider and build on:

Noticing. Taking a few seconds to go beyond generic greetings to make eye contact, checking on someone’s day, inquiring about their plans, or just wishing them a good evening can be all that it takes to remind someone that they are noticed and they matter.
Understanding. Spending a few minutes just listening and seeking to understand can be a gift that means more than we might imagine. Being genuinely heard can be a special gift.
Encouraging. Just a few words assuring someone that “they’ve got this,” they have what it takes to make it through, or that you are behind them can be enough for them persist and overcome what they face.
Giving. Offering to help with a task or project, sharing resources, or just showing up with a cup of coffee can lighten an emotional load and make the day of someone who is feeling overwhelmed or struggling to keep going.
Thanking. Letting someone know that we appreciate them, we are grateful to have them in our lives or are thankful for something they have done can make their day and lift their spirit.
Caring. Knowing someone cares can feel like a lifeline in times of loneliness and isolation. Remembering to check in, stop by, or otherwise reach out and be there for someone can be all that it takes to make a difference.

There is a quote: “The best things in life are not things.” We can become caught up in the “things” of the holidays and forget that what may matter most to the people in our lives is what we are to them, not the things we give to them. Equally important, when we bring light into the lives of others, our lives feel brighter too.

December 11, 2025

A Pause: The Swiss Army Knife of Communication

We have many tools for communicating at our disposal. We can make powerful statements, present compelling arguments, and ask compelling questions. We can shout, whisper, speak quickly, or slow our speaking pace. Yet, arguably, the most powerful and flexible communication tool we possess isn’t found in the sounds we make. It resides in the silence we create.

The space when we are not speaking can communicate a wealth of meaning. When we choose to pause our words and remain silent, we can say more than we might when using dozens of words. Arguably, there is no other communication tool with as many potential uses and that packs as much power as the pause.

Of course, the meaning and impact of creating a pause may depend on elements such as timing, context, and non-verbal supports. However, we should not underestimate the power of a pause to convey an important message, provide space for reflection, or offer an opportunity for deeper connection. Consider these ten roles a pause can play and the impact each application can have:

Offering evidence of active listening. A pause following something said can communicate active listening and a commitment to hear, not just speak.
Showing patience and respect. A pause can be a signal for someone to speak during conversation, whether one-on-one or in a group. It can be a sign that we are ready to listen.
Express doubt. Saying nothing can say a lot about whether we believe what we are hearing. If fact, when people are not being honest, a pause can lead them to say more than they intend to fill the silence and strengthen their story.
Inviting agreement or disagreement. Pausing after making an argument or stating a position can be an invitation for a response. A pause can create space for reaction, minimize interruptions, and support a respectful exchange on an emotional topic.
Frame a response. Rather than making a knee jerk reaction, a pause can create the space we need to respond thoughtfully. A pause can also give us time to gain control of our emotions and choose to avoid “taking the bait.”
Offering space for reflection. A pause can be a time to process what has been said. A pause can allow us to take in something important or emotional, consider its implications, and appreciate its importance.
Create tension or drama. When telling a story or making a presentation, pausing before revealing an important piece of information can create anticipation, build tension, and maximize the attention the audience will give to what is said next.
Add emphasis. A pause following an important statement can emphasize its importance, give the audience time to consider the implications of what has been said, and increase its memorability.
Offer turn taking. Pauses in meeting conversations can create space for people who are waiting to speak. Fast-paced conversations favor those who think and speak quickly and with confidence. Creating a pause in the flow can make room for those who may need time to think or who are reluctant to speak.
Signaling a change of subject. A pause at the end of a discussion can be an invitation for any final thoughts or comments on a topic and create a break before moving to a new topic or issue.

As we work with students, colleagues, family members, and friends we should utilize the power of well-placed, strategically utilized pauses. We can become preoccupied with what we have to say, but we should not neglect the understated, but awesome potential of a thoughtful pause.

December 04, 2025

The Master Teacher Blog