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In Your Corner, Leadership and Change Management
Surviving Setbacks and Thriving in the Aftermath
Occasional setbacks are inevitable in careers that depend on human interactions, feature multiple and even conflicting agendas, and involve factors over which we may have little control. We may have a meeting with a supervisor that goes badly. We can encounter an unpleasant board meeting surprise. A proposal in which we have invested time and energy may be rejected. We can have a nasty conflict with a long-time colleague. Or our setback may be an angry and accusatory meeting with a parent.
Regardless of the specific context or topic, setbacks can generate reactions that range from disappointment and frustration to embarrassment and humiliation. The key to surviving significant setbacks often has less to do with the event and more with how we choose to respond. Of course, in the immediate aftermath of a setback it can be difficult to regain our balance and figure out what to do next. Fortunately, there are several strategies we can employ to gain perspective, survive the setback, and position ourselves to continue to thrive in the aftermath.
We can start by creating some space. It is usually not a good plan to react while our emotions are high, and our understanding is low. The age-old advice to sleep on a problem is worth heeding. Time can provide perspective. Reflection can lessen the shock and help us to adjust.
We can also engage our network. These situations are the reason why building a network during good times is so important. We often need to talk with people who understand our work and whose perspective we respect. Times of crises are not optimal for building and accessing a network. Mentors can help us to sort through what matters and what may be nothing more than a distraction. Other people in our network may have had similar experiences and can offer timely, useful advice.
We can release our pent-up energy, anxiety, and stress. We rarely do our best thinking while under stress and overloaded with anxiety. Our release may be to exercise, or to meet friends for some conversation and social time (not therapy). The key is to engage in whatever helps us to relax and gain perspective.
We can sort what really happened. Knowing the facts make them easier to face. Understanding the dynamics and interplay of the situation can provide reassurance and offer insights about what we might do and how we might respond. This step may involve a follow-up conversation. Checking with others who have knowledge and insight regarding the situation can also build understanding. Knowing any signs or signals we may have missed can be useful to future learning.
We can decide our next steps. Now may not be the time to reconstruct our career or plot a long-term change of course. However, having a plan to manage the next few days can create a sense of control and space to decide what to do after that.
We can also place the situation in context. The situation may feel traumatic. However, it does not negate the accomplishments and successes we have achieved, or the challenges we have faced and overcome. A “rough patch” can be nothing more than a passing experience. The future is still ours to create.
Setbacks are experiences. We can be trapped by them, or we can choose to learn from them. The choice we make will likely determine whether the setback confines and defines us, or we move forward to thrive, armed with experience and learning.
Communication, In Your Corner
Four Keys to Succeeding With a Skeptical Audience
The prospect of speaking to an audience that is skeptical, hostile, or misinformed is not pleasant. We worry about what might happen, how the audience will react to our message, and what consequences may follow. It is human nature to fear the worst – even when the worst is not likely to happen.
Of course, we cannot always control the circumstances that lead to facing a less than supportive audience. But we can prepare in ways that reduce the likelihood of the situation spinning out of control, while increasing the probability that we stabilize or even make the situation better.
The key is to concentrate on the factors we can control. Our preparation needs to focus on the factors that make success more likely than failure. Here are four keys to preparing and delivering a successful presentation to audiences who may be skeptical or even hostile.
First, we need to be clear about our purpose for speaking and what we want to accomplish. Meeting with a hostile group absent a purpose and plan can lead to the situation quickly disintegrating and fostering confusion and frustration. Do we want to inform? If so, we need specific information, credible facts, and clear messages to share. Do we want to convince? If so, we need to understand the concerns and perceptions of the audience. We need to know what audience members value and how we might meet their needs and appeal to what is important to them. Do we want to respond to a concern or apologize for some action? If so, we need to be clear about what we take responsibility for and why we see a response or apology as important. We also need to be ready to explain what we intend to do to make it right.
Second, we need to remain focused on the situation or topic. Extraneous stories, disconnected examples, and unaligned comparisons are likely to create confusion, frustration, and even more hostility. The length of our comments is far less important than our sincerity, commitment, and specificity. Our preparation needs to sort what is crucial to our message and avoid what may be distracting or sound like excuse making.
Third, we need to be confident. Confidence can be difficult to generate in stressful situations. Nevertheless, a plan that focuses on why our comments are important, what we want to accomplish, and how we will organize our thoughts and words can lessen our anxiety and build our self-assurance. Our ability to project confidence can go a long way in reducing the anxiety of the audience and inject believability in what we have to say.
Fourth, we need to remain open to and respectful of other perspectives and opinions. Our ideas and understanding represent one view of the circumstance. Others may also have worthy ideas and insights. When people ask questions and even challenge our message, we need to remain calm, listen carefully, and reserve judgement as much as practical. The questions we hear can open new avenues of understanding and lead to solutions we may not have considered. On the other hand, when we fail to listen and respect the views of others, we risk undermining our message and making the situation worse.
Few of us look forward to controversy and confrontation. In fact, people who enjoy conflict often are least effective in managing and resolving the issues and emotions involved. On the other hand, avoiding situations where we need to share a message or address an issue can also make the situation worse and undermine our leadership. The best option: be clear about the purpose and desired outcome, plan and prepare well, and buttress our message with confidence, understanding, and respect.
In Your Corner, Student Learning
In Your Corner, Student Learning
In Your Corner, Student Learning
In Your Corner, Leadership and Change Management
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As much as we sometimes want to take control and tell students what they should do when they face a difficult challenge, it usually is best to position ourselves as coaches, reflectors, and supportive advocates.
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