In times of extreme political and ideological polarization, we can be tempted to categorize people and draw conclusions about their perspective before we fully understand. We can fall into the trap of assuming what people mean and placing their words in our contextual thinking before we fully grasp what is said. We can fall victim to the urge to correct, argue, and dismiss rather than listen and build understanding. The result can be embarrassing responses, disconnected declarations, and unnecessary conflict.
Consider a statement such as, “Our schools are hurting students.” These may feel like “fighting words” to those of us who give our lives to educating young people and who for the past two years have fought to protect their health and safety. How can schools be hurting students? Schools exist to nurture, protect, and support young people. Yet, after further dialogue, we understand that the statement comes from a perspective that schools are too standardized and rigid to serve the needs of all children. The argument is for more flexibility and personalization. Once we understand the intent of and context for the statement, many of our initial assumptions may be dispelled and we might see the statement in a new light. We may even agree and choose to engage in an exploratory conversation about how schools might be more flexible in response to the wide range of student learning and support needs.
Before deciding we know what is intended and what the other person is thinking, we do well to inquire, invite explanation, and open a dialogue. Yet, seeking to understand can be challenging as we often respond emotionally and feel the urge to pushback and defend what we think is counter to our thinking.
Of course, choosing to listen and learn can help us to avoid many of the communication missteps and pitfalls that can lead to unwarranted conflict and even embarrassment. When we find ourselves ready to draw conclusions, push back, and dismiss what we hear, we can shift our focus to learning by presenting one or more of the following invitations:
Tell me more… This response “opens the door” for the speaker to explain their meaning and provide context to help us understand what is behind the statement. Often, this simple invitation is enough to clarify the intent behind the words and create an opportunity for a productive dialogue.
Walk me through how you think about… This request invites greater depth of information about how the speaker is “connecting dots” and creating meaning about the topic or issue at hand. What we hear may provide us with key information to probe further or find some common ground upon which we can begin a dialogue.
What has led you to conclude… In this question we are probing what and who has influenced the person’s thinking and led them to the conclusion behind their statement. We may find that some confusion has found its way into their thinking, or someone they trust has told them what to think, even though they have not fully examined the source and implications of what they have said. Conversely, we may find that they have information we do not and that their perspective deserves our closer examination.
What are some examples… This response is often most effective when the statement we hear features generalities and vague accusations. By asking for examples, we can better understand the implications of what is being said. We may also find that the person has no specific examples and is passing along an unverified rumor. This may be a context in which we choose to withhold judgment until we have access to more specifics and clear examples.
Admittedly, it can be difficult to step back and pause when we hear what seem to be untrue and baseless statements. Yet, unless we understand the source and context of these statements, we risk appearing foolish and judgmental. Taking some time to listen and learn can be a valuable investment of our time and attention and build useful important common ground.
Expectations to be available 24/7 is a key source of stress, exhaustion, and burnout for many educators. We want to be there for our students, but we also have lives, families, and interests and responsibilities outside of work. Unlimited availability is not realistic. Some limits are necessary to avoid disruptions in family life, provide opportunities to decompress, and refocus on other reenergizing activities.
Of course, expectations for near-universal availability are not unique to education. The growth of personal communication technology has brought with it assumptions that if a message is sent, the recipient should respond immediately, regardless of time and circumstances. This situation is also not unique to the United States. Some European countries, including France, have passed laws giving workers the right to disconnect outside of work hours and responsibilities.
What is unique to education is the experiences students had during remote learning. When students were engaged in remoted instruction they no longer had set hours for learning. Sleep schedules were no longer driven by getting to school at a certain time. Students presented their questions and requests as they surfaced. It was natural for educators to want to be as responsive as possible during the crisis. However, some of the habits and expectations that grew out of remote, crisis-driven learning have been carried back in-person learning.
Many students and families still expect educators to be responsive regardless of time of day, or day of the week, including weekends. Educators are often caught in the middle between wanting to be responsive to students and families while also dealing with personal needs and professional pressures and challenges. The key is to reset expectations for courtesy, thoughtfulness, and patience while still ensuring appropriate professional support and accessibility. Here are seven actions to help accomplish this goal.
If possible, set schoolwide/districtwide expectations for staff availability. For example, a cutoff time in the afternoon might be set for when students and families should no longer expect a response until the next day. Consistent expectations, supported by a strong rationale can go far in addressing the situation. Of course, a set of expectations and procedures jointly agreed upon by the school board, the administration, and education association will likely be most effective while avoiding conflicts related to negotiated working hours and conditions.
Educators, too, can reinforce expectations with a strong rationale addressing the importance of their family time and the need to disconnect to remain fresh and energized. Any expectations should include how and when it is acceptable to make contact outside of school hours and days.
Some school teams have established “availability hours” beyond the school day that are rotated among team members, much like medical personnel “on call” hours. Availability hours might be confined to days leading up to major assessments or due dates for major projects.
Depending on the capability of available technology, devices might be set to communicate unavailability in automatic response mode. However, this option needs to be accompanied with information about when staff members are available and how they can be contacted.
Educators might set a standard for responsiveness during times when they are available. For example, students and families might be assured that they can expect a response within “X” hours. Of course, it is important to be responsive during the promised time frame.
Once expectations are set, it is important that educators not violate them and risk introducing inconsistency to the practice. While there may be emergency situations that demand attention, when educators respond to some students and not others, or at some times, but not others, expectations are not likely to be respected.
It is also important that educators respect availability expectations with each other. Questions and requests from colleagues can also add to the load.
Of course, not every option on this list will work in every school and school district. It’s important that we consider local history, conditions, and culture as structures and limitations are placed on availability. What is most important is to find a balance between being accessible and reserving time for life outside of our roles as educators.
Share your story and the tips you have for getting through this challenging time. It can remind a fellow school leader of something they forgot, or your example can make a difficult task much easier and allow them to get more done in less time. We may publish your comments.
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