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Five Values We Can and Need to Teach

We might think that with so much division and discord in today’s world there are no universally shared values. Certainly, the impression left by much of the news leads us to think it’s impossible that everyone could agree on a set of core values. We might even wonder if everything is morally relative. We may also think that it is too risky to deal with values in a public education setting because not everyone will ascribe to what we may teach, nurture, and reinforce. There are differing views on many aspects and elements of our society, especially what we value and teach. Yet, extensive research by Rushworth Kidder and others has established that there exist at least five core values we consistently support regardless of political perspective, community size, voting history, gender, education, region, and other factors. In fact, we share these values worldwide. Tested hundreds of times in dozens of countries, some form of these five values surfaced consistently regardless of culture, race, socio-economic status, education level, or other demographic element. The five core values we share:

Honesty
Respect
Responsibility
Fairness
Compassion

The exact terms people choose to describe these values may vary. As examples, integrity might be used in place of honesty, love in place of compassion, and promise-keeping in place of responsibility. Importantly, the five core values, whatever form, remain consistent across groups, communities, and countries. These values also may enjoy differing levels of priority among diverse groups. It is possible for these values to be held tightly within a family, close circle of friends, and a community, but not extend to include interaction with the wider world. Nevertheless, we can teach, nurture, and reinforce in students these core values. We can teach the value of honesty, even when something less would be easier and more convenient. We can teach what it means to be respectful of others and to have respect for oneself. We can teach that promise-keeping and follow-through are important behaviors. We can help students to understand what fairness is and why being fair is important in relationships, communities, and society. We can teach students that caring for others, reaching out to help those less fortunate, and seeing others as worthy people are important attitudes to adopt and important behaviors to practice even if they come from another culture, socio-economic background, or other life circumstance. Our important values reflect fundamental differences in what we view as right/wrong and good/evil. Also, our values are as much aspirational as normative. They provide a standard for behavior to which we all aspire even though we may not practice them as consistently as we desire. We can remind students that sometimes we fall short, but that does not necessarily make us bad people. We need to sincerely apologize if our actions have hurt someone and then commit to do better in the future. We also can teach and coach the value and importance of extending these core values beyond those with whom we commonly associate and see as like us. When we practice these values widely and consistently, trust and understanding grow. Our class, school, community, and nation become stronger.

August 04, 2022

Five Secrets to Maximize Our Productivity

It may be challenging to recall a time recently not filled with complexity and stress. So many competing demands, urgent challenges, and conflicting expectations can leave us longing for bygone days when we were “just busy.” The advice we are likely to hear, and give ourselves, is that we need to practice careful, disciplined time management. Such an admonition seems logical. We have only so much time during each day. Consequently, if we manage it properly, we should be more productive. Yet, it happens that just managing our time is not likely to deliver the results we really need. The secret to productivity occurs not in managing each minute and hour. The secret lies in how we manage ourselves, our efficiency, and our effectiveness within the time we have; that’s what matters most. Thus, some people accomplish impressive amounts of work each day while others, despite being given the same number of hours, accomplish far less. Consider these five self-managing strategies to move along the path to greater productivity:

Focus fully on the task you are doing. Nothing slows productivity, reduces creativity, and leads to more errors than allowing ourselves to become distracted and pulled off-task. Worrying about the next meeting, a difficult phone call, or awkward appointment only gets in the way. If necessary, address what is causing the distraction first, or opt to worry after you finish.

Start your day by tackling the most challenging, difficult, and demanding task(s). This approach reduces haunting feelings of pressure until we finish the challenging task. It can also give us the feeling of an early “big win” to build momentum for the day.

Resist “owning” every task. Just because you have done it in the past, you are good at it, or receive praise for accomplishing it does not mean you must continue doing it. Ask yourself who else could do it. Even if they need training, and, though it may take a while before they perform at your level, it may be worth it to recapture some time. Additionally, you may be developing important skills and confidence in a future leader.

Give priority to tasks that will make the greatest difference. Engaging staff, students, and families demonstrates your caring for and interest in their success and well-being. Resolving a reoccurring problem in the schedule, discipline, or other process not only saves future time but improves the system and everyone’s day. Pause to consider the predictable benefits of task completion before investing scarce time and energy.

Set aside time each day to “clear your head.” Constantly moving from one task, activity, and interaction to another is exhausting, depletes energy, and diminishes opportunities for reflection and sense-making. Without time to think and reflect, you risk repeating unproductive behaviors and missing key insights that often lead to higher levels of performance.

Of course, we live in the real world. Not every day allows us to practice all these behaviors. Yet, the more days when these behaviors occupy the minutes and hours we have, the more we will be able to accomplish what matters most.

August 04, 2022

Five Ways Our Curiosity Can Jump Start the New Year

Curiosity can be a powerful force for discovery, engagement, and learning. When we allow, or even nudge, ourselves to wonder, probe, and question, we can change the path of our thinking and open new doors to experience. If we choose to capitalize on them, the beginning of a new school year can offer a myriad of new connections, new experiences, and new learning. Our curiosity can help us to see what we otherwise might ignore and learn what we might otherwise overlook. Our curiosity can help us to “ramp up,” encourage us to more carefully consider how the opening of the school experience affects everyone, whether starting new or returning. This creates a more successful and satisfying start. Let’s consider five ways we can engage our curiosity to jump start the new year: First, we might seek out staff members whom we do not know well and start a conversation about engagement activities they use to create connections and momentum in the first days of the year. In just a few conversations, we can gain access to an array of ideas and options upon which we can draw to build meaningful and memorable experiences with our students. Equally important is opening the possibility of forming new relationships. This helps to widen our professional network and strengthen our support system. Second, we might informally survey colleagues to find at least one new useful strategy for organizing work that can save time and make our professional lives easier, while protecting learning processes. Challenges from the past two years forced us to find new ways to manage our tasks and time. As a result, we can learn more effective ways to share what we have developed and learned. Additionally, organizing tools and tasks for which students can take responsibility, and preparation and process shortcuts can be good places to probe. When we employ our curiosity in this direction, we gain access to innovative ideas and options. This also lends to renewing professional relationships and building bridges for future collaboration. Third, we might seek out one or more of our most experienced, innovative, and effective colleagues and probe for new insights, ideas, and strategies they have developed to improve learning experiences and outcomes. We may discover they have learned and are perfecting the exact new strategy we need. Even better, they may be looking for someone with whom they can collaborate on further development. Furthermore, what we glean may not be new but may reveal new twists and applications from which our practice can benefit. Of course, our inquiry also communicates our respect for their work, a great message to send a colleague as a new year begins. Fourth, we can set a goal to discover at least one thing about each of our students that makes them unique. Our search for what makes students unique also will assist our efforts to learn names and collect other information that can help us in our success with them. Of course, the search alone reinforces for us their individual worth and potential, plus each deserves unique recognition. Personal conversations, interviews, or a group activity lend to interesting information collection. Although, if we collect the information through a group activity, we need to follow up with students individually to confirm that we noted and value what they have shared. These student conversations create suitable places to begin forming relationships that grow in strength and influence throughout the year ahead. Fifth, we can focus our curiosity on those elements and aspects of our work for which we are grateful. Our inquiry might open our eyes to meaningful experiences and relationships that energize us, carry us through tough times, and give us a sense of meaning and purpose. And although the opening of the new year can generate feelings of uncertainty and anxiety, it does present us with occasions to renew and reengage those aspects of our work that bring us satisfaction, pride, and happiness. One of the unique aspects of teaching is that each year brings new opportunities and allows us to begin anew. By unleashing and engaging our curiosity, we can make the start of the new year even more promising, productive, and purposeful.

July 29, 2022

Five Crucial Components of Strong, Productive Cultures

We talk a lot about culture. We know that it can be a determining factor in the success of any organization, including schools. We hear terms like “good cultures” and “bad cultures,” “strong cultures” and “weak cultures,” and “toxic cultures” and “healthy cultures.” What do we mean? What are the crucial components shared by healthy, productive cultures? It can be helpful to think about cultures as comprised of building components, much like a physical structure. At the base we find characteristics that provide supports for higher, more impactful components of healthy and productive cultures. Let’s explore five crucial elements for developing a positive, impactful culture and how each might be described by people who are experiencing each one. Foundation: Relationships The foundation of a healthy culture can be found in relationships. People feel accepted and respected. They feel as though they are a part of the organization. Relationships may extend beyond work to become friendships. While there may be conflicts, they tend to center around ideas and strategies rather than personalities and politics. Often, they resolve without grudges or resentment. Open communication extends throughout the organization. In organizations that have a strong relational culture, people say:

This is a warm and friendly place.
I feel respected and heard.
I am not afraid to disagree if I feel strongly about an issue or decision.
I enjoy the people with whom I work. Some of them even have become my friends.

Floor: Collaboration At the collaborative level, relationships extend beyond feeling respected and valued. Shared knowledge and experiences inform and benefit colleagues and the organization. People feel trusted enough to share their ideas and insights and feel safe enough to be vulnerable. They can admit they do not have every answer, without fear of shame and criticism. People frequently work in teams to perform tasks, solve problems, plan, and improve processes. In organizations that have moved to the level of a collaborative culture, people say:

I feel my expertise is valued and respected.
I don’t always have to act as if I have all the answers.
I can ask for help without worrying about what others may think of me.
I have opportunities to work with colleagues on important projects, problems, and processes.

Supporting Walls: Shared Purpose The search for and feelings of shared purpose rest firmly on the first two components. Shared purpose makes relationships more meaningful and collaboration more productive. Shared purpose drives decisions and keeps the values of the organization constantly in play. Shared purpose generates a sense of integrity and significance in the work. Goals become clearer, more transparent, and influential in daily and ongoing activities and initiatives. Celebrations lift the purpose of the organization and honor the people and work that move the organization ever closer to achieving its purpose. In organizations with a strong sense of purpose, people say:

I feel like the work we do here is important and worth the effort.
I appreciate that everyone is committed to doing our best work in service of our purpose.
I like the clarity and consistency with which goals are set and decisions are made.
Our celebrations feel authentic and meaningful.

Roof: Shared Accountability The fourth level expands the focus of the work and achievement of the organizational purpose to include shared responsibility. People hold themselves and each other responsible for doing their best work, achieve shared goals, and make a shared difference. Accountability is based on promises people make to themselves and each other rather than relying on external monitoring, measurement, and metrics. When people experience a culture of shared accountability, they are likely to say:

I feel great responsibility to do my best and to not stop learning and trying until we are successful.
I am confident that my colleagues share my commitment to our work and purpose.
We know that when we work together there is not a problem that we cannot solve or challenge we cannot meet.
We worry little about state-informed and other accountability measures because our standards are much higher than others would establish for us.

Upgrades: Renewal and Innovation People who are a part of cultures that have reached this level resist feeling satisfied or comfortable. They continue to reflect, challenge, and push themselves. Not only do they search for ways to improve current practices and processes, but they also look for opportunities to innovate, redesign, and reimagine even better work. They fear lethargy and staleness. They are quick to share, model, and mentor others who aspire to reach this level of culture and performance. People in cultures that have reached the level of innovation and renewal are likely to say:

I feel as though we have come a long way, but we are far from finished.
I constantly look for new ideas, better strategies, and even more effective approaches.
We often ask ourselves whether there are better approaches, more effective designs, and innovative perspectives that we can adopt and develop to move to an even higher level of performance.
We are eager to share our knowledge and experience with others who are on journeys like ours.

As noted earlier, each component of culture builds upon the one below it and expands its impact. With weak interpersonal relationships and collaboration, other levels weaken and can even collapse. The challenge for leaders is to build from the bottom, but constantly monitor cultural health at all five levels.

July 29, 2022

Time to Repair and Rebuild Culture – Where to Start

It is not a secret that organizational cultures took a beating during the pandemic. The result for too many of us has been feelings of isolation, struggle to remain engaged in and committed to our work, and even questioning whether we still belong. Unfortunately, without focused attention and careful effort, some of the damage to the culture of our schools and districts will become permanent. Simply hoping the situation will improve holds little promise. Declaring that certain elements will be part of our culture does not guarantee their presence. Repairing and rebuilding culture takes time and focus. It also requires an understanding of what the culture can be and why rebuilding is important. Our repair and rebuilding plans must focus on the areas and aspects of our culture that have sustained the most crucial damage. Our plans also need to include expanding and strengthening areas of the culture that were not as robust as they needed to be prior to the pandemic. Of course, as leaders we must model the central elements of the desired culture consistently and visibly. If we as leaders do not commit to and behave consistently with the culture we seek, all other efforts will likely fall short. The beginning of a new year is a great time to revisit, reexamine, and recommit to the culture that will define us and the impact we will have on our students, each other, and the communities we serve. We must be intentional, transparent, and authentic in our work to repair and rebuild. We also need to support the work with dialogue, activities, and reflection to translate concepts and aspirations into experience. Here are five areas of examination and potential activities that can serve as places to start: Reaffirming core values and purpose. We may assume that the core values in place before the pandemic remain and that everyone accepts and is committed to a common purpose. We may be correct. However, much has changed over the past few years. Unless we revisit, re-examine, reaffirm our core values, and recommit to our central purpose, we risk having them drift, be ignored, and even be abandoned. Our repair and rebuilding efforts must push beyond broad statements to include clear examples and evidence of living our values and purpose. Activities in which we engage might include generating what would constitute evidence of living our purpose and values. We might provide real or constructed case studies, and in response, people could identify the values involved and describe how our purpose would inform actions to take and messages to communicate. Seeing through the eyes of learners. We can examine learning experiences from the perspective of students. When we do, we shift the focus away from adult issues and gain insights into how learners experience the culture and what we can do to make the culture more inclusive, supportive, and rich for students. Activities that include student voices can stimulate important conversations and dispel faulty assumptions about how students experience school. Student voices can also provide insights regarding where to expand learning opportunities and experiences, how to increase learning commitment, and how to uncover ways to make learning more relevant and compelling. Reaffirming the value of community. Shared community is a crucial element of a healthy culture. When members feel as though they belong, are valued, and are respected, almost anything becomes possible. People want to feel confident that they will receive support when needed, that they can collaborate without fear of manipulation, and that they can struggle together without fear of blame and abandonment. Activities must help participants to feel what community can be and how it opens doors to possibility. Celebrating evidence of living our purpose. A strong culture is more than an aspiration. It is experienced daily, sometimes minute by minute. When teachers and other staff members exhibit courage, flexibility, patience, persistence, and other purpose and value related behaviors, it is important that we recognize and celebrate these behaviors and their impact. What we choose to celebrate conveys a message about what we value. The activities we choose need to signal the importance of reflecting and recommitting to core values and purpose. Building shared capacity. New challenges, a new context, and new expectations call for increased capacity to respond and serve. Initial capacity building activities can engage teams and staff in learning that has value for all. Activities might explore how to stimulate student creativity, promote engagement, and build learning skills. Capacity building can also extend to defining and responding to challenges and opportunities facing the organization. We can explore how everyone can play a role, contribute their talents, and be a resource in meeting challenges and take advantage of opportunities. Organizational culture often becomes strongest when everyone works together in the face of difficult problems, responds to external threats and achieves common goals. Sustaining a healthy, vibrant culture is difficult work even in stable and predictable times. The times in which we are living are neither. Consequently, the work of repairing and rebuilding culture now is even more challenging. Yet, it is work that can strengthen and transform our organizations and the experiences of those associated with them. We face what may be a once in a career opportunity to lead work that will create a path to greatness for our organizations and for those who are a part of them. It is time to get to work.

July 21, 2022

Begin the School Year with Advantage-Creating Mind Frames

We look for advantages when and where we can find them. Advantages can give us a head start and make success more likely. Advantages give us leverage to avoid wasting time and energy. Advantages are especially welcome when they do not mean that others must experience a disadvantage. So, starting the new year with advantages that help our students and us succeed can be welcome, especially during times like these. One of the most significant and impactful advantages we can gain as we begin a new year lies in how we think about and approach our work. How we position ourselves in our relationships with students will largely determine how they will respond. And the strategies we employ to help students learn will greatly influence their success. With this context in mind, let’s explore four mind frames that can give us and our students important advantages in the weeks and months ahead: Mind frame #1. Don’t focus on removing the challenges that lie ahead; prepare students to meet them. We might be tempted to lessen the challenges that students will face by giving them easier work or providing excessive support, but we risk devaluing the success they achieve and giving a false sense of accomplishment. Rather than making the road ahead easy, we can focus on developing the skills and confidence students will need to meet and succeed with the challenges they will face. We will not be able to lessen the challenges our students will experience once they leave us. Preparing our students to accomplish demanding tasks and succeed in difficult times is an advantage we can offer that will serve them well regardless of what their futures hold. Mind frame #2. Don’t protect students from every misstep and setback; help students learn from their mistakes. Mistakes can be frustrating and even painful. Of course, we do not want our students to suffer. However, in the context of learning, mistakes can offer powerful lessons that lead to growth. In fact, some of the most powerful and memorable learning our students will gain this year will be the result of their mistakes and missteps they experience. While we need to offer instruction and coaching that focuses students on what is important and prepares them to encounter new concepts and skills, we also need to allow them to make mistakes without shame, excessive penalties, and unnecessary risk, so that learning can result. Mind frame #3. Don’t force students to prove they are trustworthy; assume and treat them as though they are, and they will prove you are correct. What we assume about the character and intensions of others can have a determinative impact on how they respond. When students feel that we trust them and believe they will be positive, contributing members of the class community, they are far more likely to behave accordingly. Lengthy lists of rules and consequences for misbehavior risk communicating a lack of trust and can tempt some students to test us to confirm their suspicions. On the other hand, when we choose to trust, students are also likely to want to prove us correct. Meanwhile, should the behavior of students occasionally fall short of our expectations, we are more likely to see and treat the behavior as an aberration than confirmation that they are not trustworthy, and we will seek to correct rather than punish. Mind frame #4. Don’t ask students to convince you of their talents; look for what makes each one special. As a new group of students enters our class, we might take the position that they must prove themselves to us before we recognize their abilities and talents. Of course, some students who have the confidence of past success will respond. However, this approach risks missing some of the most important, latent talents that students possess and have the potential to develop. Conversely, if we adopt the mind frame that every student possesses talents and gifts and our challenge is to help each student discover and develop what makes them special, we set the stage for far more talent discovery, development, and demonstration. Importantly, even if we are not successful in completely discovering and developing the gifts of some students, we will have communicated to them that they are special, and we are confident they have potential that is yet to be fully recognized. We cannot control every aspect of our students’ learning, relationships, and growth in the year ahead. However, the mind frames we adopt and the advantages they offer can make important differences in crucial areas over which we have control. The best part is that these mind frames cost nothing but hold the promise of immeasurable value.

July 21, 2022

Share Your Tips & Stories

Share your story and the tips you have for getting through this challenging time. It can remind a fellow school leader of something they forgot, or your example can make a difficult task much easier and allow them to get more done in less time. We may publish your comments.

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Five Strategies to Defeat Pesky ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Most of us have had the experience of perceiving a person or situation as negative and reacting accordingly, only to find later that the person was much different than we perceived and the situation was other than what we assumed. We all know the feeling of thinking someone disliked us when they were simply distracted by a circumstance of which we were unaware. Additionally, we have been reluctant to begin a task for fear of failure, only to discover that the task actually led us to new, unimaginable skills and opportunities. These thoughts are natural. Caution and self-protection can serve us well, but such thinking can also prevent us from experiencing much in life that can lead to growth, opportunity, and happiness. Scientists claim humans have as many as 70,000 thoughts per day. Unfortunately, most are negative. Equally disheartening, about 90% of our thoughts are repeated from previous days, leading to bad habits, biases, and distortions that do not serve us well. Worse, a good portion simply occur automatically. Over time, our negative thinking can increase the frequency and level of stress we feel, diminishing our brain’s serotonin and dopamine productions. These natural chemicals produce feelings of happiness and well-being. Persistent negative thoughts can even accelerate the brain’s aging process. Having studied the phenomenon of negative thinking and its consequences, psychologists call this process Automatic Negative Thoughts, or ANTs, because these thoughts happen so quickly and naturally. Like actual ants in nature, these thoughts permeate our reality and can be difficult to eliminate. Nevertheless, there are several strategies we can employ to shift our thinking and push pesky ANTs into the background. First, resist mind reading. We “mind read” when we think we know what another person is thinking or feeling. When we do not receive the reaction we expect, our ANTs often lead us to assume the other person is upset, uncaring, or choosing to ignore us. We reduce the number of ANTs with which we must contend when we resist negative assumptions and delay drawing conclusions until we know the facts of the situation. Second, refuse to take what happens personally. People are less likely to be focused on us than we assume. When people are short with us, snap at us, or seem grumpy, they are as likely to be reacting to something unrelated to us as not. As much as we might think otherwise, the world generally does not revolve around us. Third, resist “all or nothing” thinking. When we think about people and situations in terms of “always or never,” “perfect or horrible,” or “winner or loser,” we risk missing the nuances of life. Life delivers a mix of good and bad. Even the worst situation can have positive dimensions. People who seem perfect also have flaws, and people who make mistakes still have strengths and talents. Fourth, refuse to engage in “should haves,” “could haves,” and “might haves.” Actions we take and choices we make can seem clearer in retrospect. Rather than wasting energy on regrets and guilt, we can focus on what we can do now, what we can learn, and how we can adjust in the future. We cannot change the past, but the future is ours to shape. Fifth, ask yourself if there is another way of thinking about the situation. A delay in the delivery or completion of a report can leave us feeling disappointed, but the additional time can allow us to become better prepared and able to collect information that improves our decision-making. Changes in perspective lead us to discover new insights and opportunities we would have otherwise overlooked. Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) can be challenging to shift, but when we convert them to Positive Energizing Thoughts (PETs), we win. In other words, we can transform our ANTs into our PETs. Comaford, C. (2012, April 4). Got inner peace? 5 ways to get it NOW. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/christinecomaford/2012/04/04/got-inner-peace-5-ways-to-get-it-now/?sh=ead92d667275 Westenberg, J. (2017, May 9). You have 70,000 thoughts every single day – Don't waste ’em. Observer. https://observer.com/2017/05/you-have-70000-thoughts-every-single-day-dont-waste-them-decision-making-process/

July 14, 2022

Four Daily Intentions That Rebuild Confidence and Optimism

There are times when we can feel as though we are caught in the “back water” of life. We may doubt that we are making the difference we want to make. We are not making progress where we desire. We may even feel our confidence begin to wane and our optimism to dim. Certainly, many forces and factors can contribute to these feelings. However, the challenge is to find our way out. We may not be able to control all the elements in our lives that push us in the direction of momentum loss and self-doubt, but there are steps we can take and areas to focus our attention to counter the malaise in which we find ourselves. It happens that by taking control in some areas of our lives we can counter what we are experiencing elsewhere. When we create energy and build momentum in areas over which we have control, we often begin to see movement in other aspects of life. We can begin to turn the situation around by the intentions we adopt for how we will spend our time, where we will focus our energy, and the actions we choose to take. Let’s consider four intentions we can adopt for each day that can put us on a path to rebuild our confidence and restore our optimism. First, we can adopt an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude is a surprisingly powerful life force. When we pay attention to the things in our lives we can be thankful for and we notice the actions of others that make our lives easier, more pleasurable, and full, our outlook automatically begins to change. We start to focus on what is good and valuable rather than what is frustrating and disappointing. Life gets better when we start the day committed to finding and appreciating what can make us grateful and end the day by reviewing and savoring what is good in our lives. Second, we can commit to showing compassion to others. As difficult as our current circumstances may be, there are others who face challenges equal to or greater than ours. When we choose to notice, understand, and care about others, our burden can feel lighter. Further, when we show compassion to others, we gain an appreciation for their courage and can be inspired by their commitment. Showing compassion generates a sense of connectedness and reveals the value we can offer in the lives of others. It is a worthy question at the end of the day to inquire where and to whom we offered compassion. Third, we can commit to being of service to others. As educators, we might assume that everything we do is in service to others. While this perspective has merit, the value of service is revealed when we take an additional step, offer a little additional attention, and provide a measure of support beyond what may be typical or required. When we provide a measure of extra service to others, they benefit and so do we. We feel better about ourselves and we can see the difference we make. Taking a few minutes at the end of the day to reflect on what we did to improve the lives of others, even in small ways, can make a big difference in how we feel about the day and what we did in it. Fourth, we can commit to being curious. At first, this intention may seem like a surprising strategy to turn around our confidence and attitude. Yet, curiosity is the gateway to surprises, discovery, and learning. When we adopt an attitude of curiosity, we notice aspects of our world that we may have ignored or taken for granted. We ask questions that lead to new insights and information. We open ourselves to learning and exploring. Curiosity can lead us to see new opportunities and guide us to let go of what may be holding us back. At the end of the day when we recount for ourselves what we explored, discovered, and learned we can see a world that seemed closed begin to open and that invites us to grow and become who we want to be. Intentions can be powerful forces. When we align our energy with what we want to accomplish we can overcome barriers that seemed insurmountable. New insights and opportunities emerge and new strategies surface. When we commit to practicing gratitude and showing compassion, being of service and remaining curious, and we take the time to reflect and appreciate our experience, we harness a force to rebuild our confidence and restore our optimism.

June 17, 2022

An Empowering View of Resilience

A popular understanding of resilience is that it is the ability to tolerate and survive despite challenges and setbacks. While this perspective is correct, it is incomplete. Resilience is more than hanging on and surviving. Resilience includes learning, adjusting, and responding. While it might be enough to “hold on” and “weather the storm” in the short-term, this approach offers little in the face of sustained pressure and long-term changes. In fact, this approach risks weakening our relationships, shifting our outlook on life, and compromising our future success. There is another dimension to resilience that is more empowering, effective, and even growth evoking. This approach adopts a learning, adjusting, and engaging view of what it means to be resilient. Rather than “hunkering down” in response to pressure and stress, we can view the situation through a lens of what we can learn from the experience, how we can adjust our perspective and strategies, and where we can engage more effectively going forward. We see repeated examples of the second dimension of resilience in nature. As living conditions and environmental factors change, animals and even insects adjust. When some sources of food disappear, the search begins for other sources and shifts in diet. When predators threaten, potential victims develop new strategies to counter the danger. While the pressures and stresses we experience may be less existential, they are serious, and our health and well-being depend on us responding in ways that are effective and sustainable. In this context, we might define resilience as our ability to adapt effectively to the difficulties life presents to us. We are not freed from pain, grief, and anger, but we identify and adopt ways to respond and stay healthy. Of course, each of us needs to discover and adopt what works best for us. Nevertheless, here are five strategies to consider:

Look for what can be learned. We can start by searching our memory for what has worked in the past. We can examine the situation and seek out elements and aspects over which we have control. We can look for new skills and strategies that others have employed effectively. The key is to view the situation as one that invites learning rather than tolerance.
Focus on progress and accomplishment Setting goals, marking progress, and celebrating even small wins can provide energy, meaning, and purpose in our lives. Experiencing progress and success can also increase our confidence, provide a sense of control, and renew our commitment.
Embrace hope. We can take the long view on our current situation. Almost every circumstance will improve over time. Seeing a point in the future where we will get beyond our current troubles, experience greater stability, and achieve success can keep us going even when current circumstances are difficult to manage.
Act. We may not always know what to do. But doing something is almost always better than doing nothing. In fact, when we try something, we often learn more about what else we can do that would make a bigger difference and be even more successful.
Choose how to respond. When we are emotional, feel pressured and stressed, or uncertain, we can react to what happens around us with little thought or intention. When we do, we give up our ability to choose. We cannot always control what happens to us, but we always have a choice in how we will respond. In that choice can reside considerable influence over what happens next. When we choose how to respond we inject a degree of control that can be sacrificed in “knee jerk” reactions. In fact, thoughtless reactions can often make the situation worse.

We often have more influence over and control in situations than we realize. However, we need to engage, learn, and adjust to discover what might be possible. Choosing to practice resilience as “toughing it out” can work in response to short-term conditions and challenges. But when life presents significant shifts, changing circumstances, and new expectations, a better choice is to take control for ourselves, engage our learning, and unleash our creativity.

April 22, 2022

Appreciate Your Teachers: A Letter to My Much Younger Self

Dear My Much Younger Self, So many people are playing roles in your life right now that will shape who you become and what you will accomplish. Yet, their value and impact are not yet clear to you. In fact, the guidance and influence they are offering are not always comfortable and welcome. Still, you need to listen, follow, and treasure what they offer to and ask of you. Among the people who are guiding and shaping who you will become are your teachers. Of course, it can be tempting to dismiss and push back on what they say and expect. You think that you know what is best for you. Unfortunately, you do not have enough life experience and perspective to make every decision on your own. You need to pay attention, heed their advice, and follow their guidance. I have come to appreciate many of the expectations teachers are holding for you. They have shaped my attitudes and expectations for myself. Insights they are sharing with you have stayed with me decades later. Let me share with you some of what I have learned as I reflect on the experiences you are having now. The teacher who is pressing you to lift your aspirations and increase your investment in learning sees in you potential that you do not yet realize you have. Listen to what the teacher says and follow the advice you are given. You will not regret it. The teacher who gives you challenges and pushes the boundaries of your learning knows that the most valuable learning you will develop comes with struggle and frustration. When you make mistakes as you are learning, know that they are a natural part of the process. Use them to adjust your approach and guide your learning. The teacher who holds high expectations and refuses to lower them when you fail to make your best effort and do your best work is teaching you a valuable lesson about life and learning. When the work is hard, you need to focus on your effort and strategies, not how to “work the system” or find an easier path. The teacher who resists providing you with immediate answers is not necessarily being difficult. Learning where and how to find answers for yourself is a lesson you will use for the rest of your life. Knowing how to solve problems on your own will serve you well when you face dilemmas and difficulties and no teacher is present to provide a formula or show a clear path forward. The teacher who presses you to focus on what you are learning, not just the grades you will receive, is guiding you to focus on what is most important. It may seem that grades are what you are working for, but grades are nothing more than symbols. Grades at their best do little more than capture the progress you have made and learning you have gained. I could go on, but you are probably wondering why I am sharing these things. I want you to do something I neglected to do. I fear that my teachers did not feel my appreciation for what they did for me when I was experiencing what you are experiencing. Of course, you cannot fully know or appreciate the impact they are having on you and your life. Trust me. What your teachers are doing for you matters. You will come to value the impact they are having. In the coming week, please make it a point to thank your teachers for what they are doing for you. Tell them that you appreciate that they push you and hold you to high expectations. Thank them for believing in you and your potential. Let them know that you understand that learning is not always easy. I know. Doing what I am asking is not typical behavior for you. It will feel awkward. I am asking you to do it for me. Of course, you will also be doing it for yourself. Enjoy what lies ahead. Your life will be amazing. All my best, Your Future Self

April 15, 2022

The Master Teacher Blog