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Five Strategies to Defeat Pesky ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Most of us have had the experience of perceiving a person or situation as negative and reacting accordingly, only to find later that the person was much different than we perceived and the situation was other than what we assumed. We all know the feeling of thinking someone disliked us when they were simply distracted by a circumstance of which we were unaware. Additionally, we have been reluctant to begin a task for fear of failure, only to discover that the task actually led us to new, unimaginable skills and opportunities. These thoughts are natural. Caution and self-protection can serve us well, but such thinking can also prevent us from experiencing much in life that can lead to growth, opportunity, and happiness. Scientists claim humans have as many as 70,000 thoughts per day. Unfortunately, most are negative. Equally disheartening, about 90% of our thoughts are repeated from previous days, leading to bad habits, biases, and distortions that do not serve us well. Worse, a good portion simply occur automatically. Over time, our negative thinking can increase the frequency and level of stress we feel, diminishing our brain’s serotonin and dopamine productions. These natural chemicals produce feelings of happiness and well-being. Persistent negative thoughts can even accelerate the brain’s aging process. Having studied the phenomenon of negative thinking and its consequences, psychologists call this process Automatic Negative Thoughts, or ANTs, because these thoughts happen so quickly and naturally. Like actual ants in nature, these thoughts permeate our reality and can be difficult to eliminate. Nevertheless, there are several strategies we can employ to shift our thinking and push pesky ANTs into the background. First, resist mind reading. We “mind read” when we think we know what another person is thinking or feeling. When we do not receive the reaction we expect, our ANTs often lead us to assume the other person is upset, uncaring, or choosing to ignore us. We reduce the number of ANTs with which we must contend when we resist negative assumptions and delay drawing conclusions until we know the facts of the situation. Second, refuse to take what happens personally. People are less likely to be focused on us than we assume. When people are short with us, snap at us, or seem grumpy, they are as likely to be reacting to something unrelated to us as not. As much as we might think otherwise, the world generally does not revolve around us. Third, resist “all or nothing” thinking. When we think about people and situations in terms of “always or never,” “perfect or horrible,” or “winner or loser,” we risk missing the nuances of life. Life delivers a mix of good and bad. Even the worst situation can have positive dimensions. People who seem perfect also have flaws, and people who make mistakes still have strengths and talents. Fourth, refuse to engage in “should haves,” “could haves,” and “might haves.” Actions we take and choices we make can seem clearer in retrospect. Rather than wasting energy on regrets and guilt, we can focus on what we can do now, what we can learn, and how we can adjust in the future. We cannot change the past, but the future is ours to shape. Fifth, ask yourself if there is another way of thinking about the situation. A delay in the delivery or completion of a report can leave us feeling disappointed, but the additional time can allow us to become better prepared and able to collect information that improves our decision-making. Changes in perspective lead us to discover new insights and opportunities we would have otherwise overlooked. Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) can be challenging to shift, but when we convert them to Positive Energizing Thoughts (PETs), we win. In other words, we can transform our ANTs into our PETs. Comaford, C. (2012, April 4). Got inner peace? 5 ways to get it NOW. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/christinecomaford/2012/04/04/got-inner-peace-5-ways-to-get-it-now/?sh=ead92d667275 Westenberg, J. (2017, May 9). You have 70,000 thoughts every single day – Don't waste ’em. Observer. https://observer.com/2017/05/you-have-70000-thoughts-every-single-day-dont-waste-them-decision-making-process/

July 14, 2022

Four Daily Intentions That Rebuild Confidence and Optimism

There are times when we can feel as though we are caught in the “back water” of life. We may doubt that we are making the difference we want to make. We are not making progress where we desire. We may even feel our confidence begin to wane and our optimism to dim. Certainly, many forces and factors can contribute to these feelings. However, the challenge is to find our way out. We may not be able to control all the elements in our lives that push us in the direction of momentum loss and self-doubt, but there are steps we can take and areas to focus our attention to counter the malaise in which we find ourselves. It happens that by taking control in some areas of our lives we can counter what we are experiencing elsewhere. When we create energy and build momentum in areas over which we have control, we often begin to see movement in other aspects of life. We can begin to turn the situation around by the intentions we adopt for how we will spend our time, where we will focus our energy, and the actions we choose to take. Let’s consider four intentions we can adopt for each day that can put us on a path to rebuild our confidence and restore our optimism. First, we can adopt an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude is a surprisingly powerful life force. When we pay attention to the things in our lives we can be thankful for and we notice the actions of others that make our lives easier, more pleasurable, and full, our outlook automatically begins to change. We start to focus on what is good and valuable rather than what is frustrating and disappointing. Life gets better when we start the day committed to finding and appreciating what can make us grateful and end the day by reviewing and savoring what is good in our lives. Second, we can commit to showing compassion to others. As difficult as our current circumstances may be, there are others who face challenges equal to or greater than ours. When we choose to notice, understand, and care about others, our burden can feel lighter. Further, when we show compassion to others, we gain an appreciation for their courage and can be inspired by their commitment. Showing compassion generates a sense of connectedness and reveals the value we can offer in the lives of others. It is a worthy question at the end of the day to inquire where and to whom we offered compassion. Third, we can commit to being of service to others. As educators, we might assume that everything we do is in service to others. While this perspective has merit, the value of service is revealed when we take an additional step, offer a little additional attention, and provide a measure of support beyond what may be typical or required. When we provide a measure of extra service to others, they benefit and so do we. We feel better about ourselves and we can see the difference we make. Taking a few minutes at the end of the day to reflect on what we did to improve the lives of others, even in small ways, can make a big difference in how we feel about the day and what we did in it. Fourth, we can commit to being curious. At first, this intention may seem like a surprising strategy to turn around our confidence and attitude. Yet, curiosity is the gateway to surprises, discovery, and learning. When we adopt an attitude of curiosity, we notice aspects of our world that we may have ignored or taken for granted. We ask questions that lead to new insights and information. We open ourselves to learning and exploring. Curiosity can lead us to see new opportunities and guide us to let go of what may be holding us back. At the end of the day when we recount for ourselves what we explored, discovered, and learned we can see a world that seemed closed begin to open and that invites us to grow and become who we want to be. Intentions can be powerful forces. When we align our energy with what we want to accomplish we can overcome barriers that seemed insurmountable. New insights and opportunities emerge and new strategies surface. When we commit to practicing gratitude and showing compassion, being of service and remaining curious, and we take the time to reflect and appreciate our experience, we harness a force to rebuild our confidence and restore our optimism.

June 17, 2022

An Empowering View of Resilience

A popular understanding of resilience is that it is the ability to tolerate and survive despite challenges and setbacks. While this perspective is correct, it is incomplete. Resilience is more than hanging on and surviving. Resilience includes learning, adjusting, and responding. While it might be enough to “hold on” and “weather the storm” in the short-term, this approach offers little in the face of sustained pressure and long-term changes. In fact, this approach risks weakening our relationships, shifting our outlook on life, and compromising our future success. There is another dimension to resilience that is more empowering, effective, and even growth evoking. This approach adopts a learning, adjusting, and engaging view of what it means to be resilient. Rather than “hunkering down” in response to pressure and stress, we can view the situation through a lens of what we can learn from the experience, how we can adjust our perspective and strategies, and where we can engage more effectively going forward. We see repeated examples of the second dimension of resilience in nature. As living conditions and environmental factors change, animals and even insects adjust. When some sources of food disappear, the search begins for other sources and shifts in diet. When predators threaten, potential victims develop new strategies to counter the danger. While the pressures and stresses we experience may be less existential, they are serious, and our health and well-being depend on us responding in ways that are effective and sustainable. In this context, we might define resilience as our ability to adapt effectively to the difficulties life presents to us. We are not freed from pain, grief, and anger, but we identify and adopt ways to respond and stay healthy. Of course, each of us needs to discover and adopt what works best for us. Nevertheless, here are five strategies to consider:

Look for what can be learned. We can start by searching our memory for what has worked in the past. We can examine the situation and seek out elements and aspects over which we have control. We can look for new skills and strategies that others have employed effectively. The key is to view the situation as one that invites learning rather than tolerance.
Focus on progress and accomplishment Setting goals, marking progress, and celebrating even small wins can provide energy, meaning, and purpose in our lives. Experiencing progress and success can also increase our confidence, provide a sense of control, and renew our commitment.
Embrace hope. We can take the long view on our current situation. Almost every circumstance will improve over time. Seeing a point in the future where we will get beyond our current troubles, experience greater stability, and achieve success can keep us going even when current circumstances are difficult to manage.
Act. We may not always know what to do. But doing something is almost always better than doing nothing. In fact, when we try something, we often learn more about what else we can do that would make a bigger difference and be even more successful.
Choose how to respond. When we are emotional, feel pressured and stressed, or uncertain, we can react to what happens around us with little thought or intention. When we do, we give up our ability to choose. We cannot always control what happens to us, but we always have a choice in how we will respond. In that choice can reside considerable influence over what happens next. When we choose how to respond we inject a degree of control that can be sacrificed in “knee jerk” reactions. In fact, thoughtless reactions can often make the situation worse.

We often have more influence over and control in situations than we realize. However, we need to engage, learn, and adjust to discover what might be possible. Choosing to practice resilience as “toughing it out” can work in response to short-term conditions and challenges. But when life presents significant shifts, changing circumstances, and new expectations, a better choice is to take control for ourselves, engage our learning, and unleash our creativity.

April 22, 2022

Appreciate Your Teachers: A Letter to My Much Younger Self

Dear My Much Younger Self, So many people are playing roles in your life right now that will shape who you become and what you will accomplish. Yet, their value and impact are not yet clear to you. In fact, the guidance and influence they are offering are not always comfortable and welcome. Still, you need to listen, follow, and treasure what they offer to and ask of you. Among the people who are guiding and shaping who you will become are your teachers. Of course, it can be tempting to dismiss and push back on what they say and expect. You think that you know what is best for you. Unfortunately, you do not have enough life experience and perspective to make every decision on your own. You need to pay attention, heed their advice, and follow their guidance. I have come to appreciate many of the expectations teachers are holding for you. They have shaped my attitudes and expectations for myself. Insights they are sharing with you have stayed with me decades later. Let me share with you some of what I have learned as I reflect on the experiences you are having now. The teacher who is pressing you to lift your aspirations and increase your investment in learning sees in you potential that you do not yet realize you have. Listen to what the teacher says and follow the advice you are given. You will not regret it. The teacher who gives you challenges and pushes the boundaries of your learning knows that the most valuable learning you will develop comes with struggle and frustration. When you make mistakes as you are learning, know that they are a natural part of the process. Use them to adjust your approach and guide your learning. The teacher who holds high expectations and refuses to lower them when you fail to make your best effort and do your best work is teaching you a valuable lesson about life and learning. When the work is hard, you need to focus on your effort and strategies, not how to “work the system” or find an easier path. The teacher who resists providing you with immediate answers is not necessarily being difficult. Learning where and how to find answers for yourself is a lesson you will use for the rest of your life. Knowing how to solve problems on your own will serve you well when you face dilemmas and difficulties and no teacher is present to provide a formula or show a clear path forward. The teacher who presses you to focus on what you are learning, not just the grades you will receive, is guiding you to focus on what is most important. It may seem that grades are what you are working for, but grades are nothing more than symbols. Grades at their best do little more than capture the progress you have made and learning you have gained. I could go on, but you are probably wondering why I am sharing these things. I want you to do something I neglected to do. I fear that my teachers did not feel my appreciation for what they did for me when I was experiencing what you are experiencing. Of course, you cannot fully know or appreciate the impact they are having on you and your life. Trust me. What your teachers are doing for you matters. You will come to value the impact they are having. In the coming week, please make it a point to thank your teachers for what they are doing for you. Tell them that you appreciate that they push you and hold you to high expectations. Thank them for believing in you and your potential. Let them know that you understand that learning is not always easy. I know. Doing what I am asking is not typical behavior for you. It will feel awkward. I am asking you to do it for me. Of course, you will also be doing it for yourself. Enjoy what lies ahead. Your life will be amazing. All my best, Your Future Self

April 15, 2022

Five Compelling Reasons to Remain in Teaching

This is the time of year when the stresses and strains of teaching can lead educators to contemplate making a change. Certainly, the experiences of the past two years have not made the work any easier or less stressful. Consequently, we can lose perspective, forget what led us to teaching, and overlook the important reasons to remain in this profession. In the coming weeks, you may be approached for advice by a colleague who is having a “stay or leave” debate with themselves. Without lead time and opportunity to reflect, you may miss the opportunity to remind your colleague of some of the most compelling and enduring reasons for choosing to remain despite the pressures, distractions, and frustrations. If you should find yourself facing this challenge, here are five important truths about teaching you can share. First, teaching positions us with a front row seat to learning. Learning is among the most complex, magical, and inspiring of human endeavors. It is difficult to imagine more compelling and rewarding experiences than to see “a light go on” as a student makes an important connection, discovers a new insight, or applies a challenging new skill. The “mystery” that is learning challenges us to reflect, imagine, inquire, and even improvise in real time. Few other professions offer such meaningful engagement multiple times each day. Nurturing the learning of students invites us to be learners with and for them. Second, teaching reminds us that we are needed. We may be the one smile a student will experience in their day. We may be the only consistent advocate they have. The compliments and encouragement we offer may the only support they feel. We have the power to make a student’s day. Often, we are the one person who will make it a day to hope, persist, and celebrate. Third, teaching positions us to influence the future. Our engagement with students is early in their life trajectory. When our influence leads to even a small change today it can have a life altering impact over time. Some people are experts at predicting the future. Teachers are experts at creating it; one student at a time. We may not know which of our students will discover a cure for a dreaded disease, solve an important world problem, open a local business that keeps a community vital, or serve their community in other important ways, but we know they will. In the words of astronaut Christa McAuliffe: “I touch the future. I teach.” Fourth, teaching offers pure entertainment every day. In the words of former radio and television host Art Linkletter: “Kids say the darndest things.” His words offer in insight into one of the special treasures of teaching. Students are funny, creative, imaginative, surprising, unscripted, and always bring a fresh perspective. If we need to laugh or smile, we can always recall something a student said or did that was so surprising, unpredictable, or humorous that we cannot help ourselves. It has been said that if teachers do not see humor in their day, they must not be paying attention. Fifth, teaching allows us to work with friends and kindred spirits. Teachers make great friends. They care. They are dedicated. They work hard. They also are funny, loyal, and dependable. They are ready to offer support and share insights and ideas. Teachers are quick to understand when colleagues are worried or struggle to solve a teaching and learning problem. The fact is that good people tend to be drawn to teaching. They want to make a difference and they understand that one of the best places to contribute is in the lives of young people. The reasons why a colleague may contemplate making a career change will likely be varied and complex. However, you may be able to provide what they need to be convinced to stay when you remind them of what teaching has to offer and what it means to them.

March 02, 2022

The "C" quence That Drives Success and Innovation

At some point in our careers each of us has probably experienced the feeling that some element of our practice or the design of our approach is not working, or at least is not working well enough for enough students. We sense that there must be a better approach, a more effective strategy, or a new way of thinking about a persistent problem or unmet need. We may decide to just keep on keeping on and make the best of what is, or we may choose to explore something different. We may not even know exactly what we are looking for or need, but we resolve to spend some time, give some attention, and dedicate some effort trying to find out. We need to know where to start and how to find the answers we seek. We may be unsure of what to do when we land on something that seems promising and worth pursuing. We might even wonder if we have what it will take to pursue our idea or strategy to the point where it begins to pay off and provide the benefits we hope. Fortunately, there is a path, or sequence of thinking and action, we can employ to guide us on this journey. We can follow these four C’s and the sequence they suggest to focus our attention and support our work. The first C is curiosity. Without curiosity we fail to see opportunities, we ignore promising ideas, and bypass exploitable circumstances. Curiosity leads us to ask more questions, observe more closely, and keep our attention engaged. Without curiosity we are left to respond to what others point out and tell us is important and doable. Curiosity opens the door to possibility. The second C is confidence. When we feel confident in our skills and abilities, we are freer to take risks, explore options, and move forward before every question is answered. Alternatively, when we doubt and talk negatively to ourselves about our capabilities, we may see opportunities and paths worth pursuing, but hesitate fearing failure and embarrassment. Interestingly, asking ourselves what we would do if we were not afraid can make us aware of what is possible and worthy of our attention and bolster our willingness to act, even when our confidence is not strong. The third C is commitment. Commitment is our confidence in action. Once we commit, we move from exploring to exploiting opportunities and circumstances. Without commitment, we risk false starts, early abandonment, and lost opportunities. Commitment becomes stronger when we gain clarity about our intentions, set goals for our work, and measure our progress. The fourth C is courage. The path to success and innovation almost always includes setbacks and experiences that lead us to question our goals, doubt our worthiness, and require us to respond to doubters and skeptics. We might face criticism for choosing to try something new, pursue a different path, or question tradition. Yet, we need to continue to work, learn, and move forward. Remember: Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the choice to act despite it. Courage is what carries us through the final stages of the journey to success. The path to success and innovation will not always be smooth and easy. Yet, it holds the promise for us to make a difference, leave our practice and profession better than we found it, and provide learners with opportunities that they otherwise would not have experienced. In short, it is more than worth the risk and effort. It may even open doors and create opportunities beyond what we imagine.

February 25, 2022

Share Your Tips & Stories

Share your story and the tips you have for getting through this challenging time. It can remind a fellow school leader of something they forgot, or your example can make a difficult task much easier and allow them to get more done in less time. We may publish your comments.

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Five Signs Our Desire to Please May Be Hurting Us

It is common for humans to want to be liked. The approval of others feels good. However, constantly seeking the approval of others can become “too much of a good thing.” Preoccupation with the approval of others can compromise our effectiveness, undermine our self-confidence, and blur our sense of direction. Placing the immediate approval of others as the highest priority for our decisions and actions risks doing what is popular rather than doing what is right. The long-term consequences of approval seeking can undermine the trust and confidence of others. It can also lead to exhaustion and burnout. Of course, as with most things in life, we need to seek balance. Enjoying the approval of others is not a bad thing, unless it compromises our principles, distracts our attention, and leads to poor decisions. What are signals that we may be paying too much attention to what others think and working too hard to please them? Here are six signs to monitor:

Do I pretend to agree with others, even when what is said conflicts with my values? Obviously, we need to be willing to listen and consider what others say and think. We can accept the views of others as their perspectives. However, validating untrue, hurtful, and disrespectful statements just to be liked undermines our self-respect and risks people seeing us as weak and inauthentic.
Do I find myself apologizing frequently even when I have nothing for which to apologize? Being willing to admit mistakes and apologize for them is an important interpersonal skill and mature response. However, when we constantly accept blame for plans and activities that do not go perfectly, we risk undermining our influence and placing ourselves in an undervalued and disrespected position.
Do I constantly seek ways to avoid conflict? While engaging in unnecessary conflict can hurt relationships and compromise our reputation, conflict can be important to finding new solutions and relieving built up tensions. Certainly, we need to keep conflict focused on ideas and issues, not people and personalities. Yet, seeking to avoid conflict at all costs risks growing frustration, may leave important matters unresolved, and can place our leadership in question.
Do I need praise to feel effective? It feels good to be praised, but praise is not the same as accomplishment. Much of the important work we do is not widely known and may not immediately be recognized as praiseworthy. Our focus needs to be on our values and goals, how what we are doing is consistent with what is important, and how we are moving things forward. Our commitment needs to be to practice behaviors that are worthy of our approval, even if others may not immediately notice.
Do I struggle to say “No?” Being able to say “no” can be as important to our effectiveness as saying “Yes.” An inability to say “No” risks allowing unworthy activities to go forward and us committing to actions in which we do not fully believe. Further, we can waste precious time and energy on other people’s priorities while sacrificing our own.

Of course, none of these elements are absolutes. Their presence, in moderation, is natural and healthy. The key is to seek and maintain balance. Pleasing others is fine if we do not lose our identity and self-respect in the process.

February 18, 2022

Six Powerful Secrets to Thriving in Rough Times

We cannot control whether the times we face are rough or smooth. However, we can always choose how we will respond. We can give in to the challenges and problems we face, or we can choose to focus our efforts on our goals and priorities and not allow what is happening around us to drag us down. Of course, the latter choice is easier to imagine than practice. Nevertheless, there are powerful strategies we can employ to help us rise above the circumstances we face and press through the challenges that confront us. Here are six secrets we can employ to maintain our health and sanity and continue to serve our students well. Don’t expect to be perfect; being human is enough. Many of us aspire to be perfect. We don’t like to make mistakes. We don’t want to be embarrassed. However, setting an expectation that we be perfect also has significant downsides. Taking risks may lead to experiences that are less than flawless. Learning and trying new skills can mean missteps. At the same time, people who expect to be perfect are often reluctant to seek and accept the help of others. In the extreme, perfectionists can become isolated and without a strong support system. Accepting that we are human, we will make mistakes, and sometimes will need the help of others can make us more approachable. People are more willing to step up and lend a hand if we do not present ourselves as perfect. We can still be committed to excellence, strive to provide a high level of service, and model the best practices of our profession. Perfection can be a trap. We can be human and still pursue excellence. Care for yourself; build the energy to care for others. In times of crisis and pressure we may find ourselves prioritizing care for others over caring for ourselves. This is a natural inclination for people who dedicate themselves to serving others. However, there is a fundamental truth worth heeding: If we want to have the energy, strength, and stamina to care for others, we need to care for ourselves. The airline take-off announcement we hear every time we fly applies: Put on your facemask before assisting others. Unless we take care of ourselves, we risk not being able to provide the care and support our students and colleagues need from us. Taking care of ourselves is not selfish. In fact, it can be the crucial success factor in our caring for others. Don’t presume to know every answer; invite students to join the search. As students we may have assumed that our teachers had all the answers. They may have even implied that they did. As a result, we may try to hold ourselves to the same impossible standard. The fact is that there is no way to know everything in any discipline, and certainly not in the wider information universe. Even if we have command of everything our students need and want to know, there are good reasons not to behave as though we do. Some of the richest learning we can offer to our students will be found in the search for answers, especially if we are a partner in the search. When we enlist students in the search for answers, we can share in the pursuit, we can offer students a model for searching and learning, and we can share in the delight of finding answers to important questions. On the other hand, if we readily provide answers to every student question, we deprive them of the experience and risk their missing the learning value and skills gained through the hunt. Give your attention freely; don’t force students to demand it. Even though it is free, attention is a precious resource. Where we choose to direct our attention conveys a message. It indicates who and what we deem to be important and worthy. When attention is withdrawn, the impact can be profound. Of course, when we choose to withhold attention from students, many will demand it. The demand may be in the form of misbehavior, acting out, or withdrawing to the point where we are forced to intervene. The more attention we can give, the more value and respect students feel. Of course, there are times when we may choose to limit the attention we give to certain students, but even those occasions need to be temporary. Our attention is precious, but it does not have to be rationed. Celebrate small victories; build momentum for greater triumphs. During difficult times, victories may seem exceptionally small and rare. Yet, our commitment to celebrate progress, smart strategies, and even thoughtful attempts can build momentum for future success. But, our focus needs to remain on what can be accomplished, how what is happening now prepares for what can come later, and how the skills and habits developed will lead to greater accomplishments. Meaningless recognition and unfocused applause can undermine effort and commitment but seeing and celebrating small victories on the road to success can build the momentum that will lead to future triumph. Expect genius; it will emerge. It is a fact of life that we tend to see and find what we expect and look for. If we expect disappointment, we are often disappointed. If we expect respect, we tend to see more of it. If we believe and look for genius in the thinking and learning of our students, we are more likely to see it. Equally important, when we notice, call out, and reinforce creative ideas, insightful thinking, and curious questions, we are likely to see more of that behavior. Every child has a gift. If we are committed to uncovering and nurturing their gifts and talents, we will see more genius – guaranteed! There may be times when we do not feel powerful or confident. Yet, we always have options. How we choose to respond and the actions we take as a result can spell the difference between feeling “dragged under,” or swimming onward.

January 31, 2022

Four Habits Can Build Success and Satisfaction

Even in stable, relatively predictable years, the winter months can be challenging to our mood and outlook. Reaching the goals that we set at the beginning of the year may still feel a long way off. Frustrations can be more difficult to ignore or shake off. Unanticipated challenges and setbacks can have a greater impact on our confidence than they have in the past. In short, we can find ourselves in a funk. We can choose to “wait it out,” hope that our mood lightens, and life improves on its own, or we can change our focus, improve our outlook, and choose a better path. Importantly, we do not have to change our entire lives to make a difference. One of the most effective ways to make such a change is to adopt a few key behaviors that, over time, become habits. Here are four impactful behaviors that can become habits and shape our path to success and satisfaction, even now. We can start by focusing on our strengths. Research has repeatedly shown that when we pay attention to, build on, and rely on our strengths we are more successful than over-emphasizing and focusing on fixing faults or shortcomings we may have. When we focus on our strengths we gain confidence, experience more success, and are generally happier. Of course, there may be skills for us to strengthen, areas of our practice to shore up, and new practices to adopt. However, when we approach these challenges from the perspective of our strengths, we are almost always more successful. For example, using our relationship building skills to enlist the experience and talents of a team will usually be more successful than trying to solve a problem by ourselves, especially if we don’t do well working alone. We can spend our attention and energy on what we can control. It’s a fact that much of what we face in life is beyond our control. Other people may make decisions that have an impact on us. Circumstances within which we find ourselves may have origins in areas well beyond our span of control. A major source of stress in life comes from trying to manage and manipulate items and events over which we have no power. On the other hand, when we focus on those things we can control, we can achieve greater success and derive greater satisfaction. Interestingly, when we focus on what we can control, we often find that the elements and areas of life beyond our control consume less of our energy and we can often find ways to cope and respond that lessen their impact. For example, we might prefer to avoid a mandated professional learning activity, but we can choose to find value in and learn from the experience rather than spend our time resenting having to be there. We can pay attention to and appreciate what is good. Even when we live through a bad experience, there still may be elements that are good and worth appreciating. One of the truths of life is that we tend to find what we look for. If we pay attention to everything that is wrong, we can miss many important things that are right and worth celebrating. On the other hand, if we commit to look for what is good and worthy of appreciation, we tend to find those things, too. Remarkably, an attitude of appreciation can be contagious. As we find and note good elements and aspects of life, others notice them too. Consequently, we have more positive topics and experiences to share about and more to appreciate. We can also choose to lift others up. This behavior may seem counterintuitive. Yet, the act of doing something good for others is a great way to feel good about ourselves. When we notice and compliment good work, share the work of others as examples to emulate, and adopt good practices we learn from others, we feel better and we do better. This habit is not only effective among adults. When we compliment students to their parents, especially when students are within hearing distance, the benefits can be significant. Parents feel good about their children. Students love to “overhear” good things about them and their work. We can also benefit from the learning confidence and effort students will give in response. Changing the emotional path on which we find ourselves does not mean having to change everything. In fact, trying to change everything can be counterproductive. Rather, focusing on a few key shifts that become habits can make a lasting difference in the success we experience and the satisfaction we feel from it.

January 24, 2022

Three Tools for Improving Our Emotional and Mental Health

This is a time of year when we can find it challenging to stay positive, energized, and engaged. The holiday season is behind us. The daylight hours are still short. Spring is still many weeks off. Meanwhile, we need to be at our emotional and mental best for our students, our families, and ourselves. This is a time of year when many of us could use a boost. Fortunately, there are useful tools that can shift our thinking, improve our mood, and put us on a track to feeling better. These mental tools are available to each of us without cost or training. In fact, we already possess them. They involve tapping our creativity, unleashing our imagination, and opening ourselves to inspiration. Let’s examine these mental tools, how we can employ them, and the benefits they can offer. The first, creativity, is original thinking. We may not think of ourselves as being creative. Yet, each of us have within us the ability to create. Think of creativity as seeking a new perspective, developing a new approach, or finding a unique twist. Creativity can be a different way of thinking about a situation, topic, or object. Even small ideas can be enough to make something common uncommon, or something unremarkable remarkable. Creativity does not have to involve a major breakthrough or world changing idea. The power is in creating. Any recognition by and appreciation of others is a bonus. The second, imagination, is unrestrained thinking. Imagination opens our thinking in ways that are limitless in potential scope and not constrained by reality. Imagination invites us to consider what could be. We can conjure a narrative, an image, or a place beyond reality. Imagination is permission to dream about what could be without being constrained by social convention, resources, or even the laws of nature. The third, inspiration, is motivated thinking. Inspiration is awakened energy. Inspiration can give us the drive to create and create the urge to imagine. Inspiration can come from within us as we reflect on an important purpose, a compelling need, or possible contribution. Inspiration can also be stimulated externally through reading about, listening to, or observing inspirational thoughts and actions. When we open ourselves to inspiration, we invite purpose and ready our emotions for engagement. Inspiration can come from a new idea or a compelling purpose and lead us to set a worthy goal. Inspiration can give us a new awareness of possibilities. While each of these thinking tools are unique, they share some powerful, common benefits. All three can improve our mental and emotional health. They can decrease stress. Creativity, imagination, and inspiration can improve our mood and build psychological resilience. They offer a sense of contribution, control, and ownership. They build neurons in our brain that can keep our nervous system healthy and our memory sharp. Creativity, imagination, and inspiration have also been shown to prevent dementia later in life. When we share our creativity, imagination, and inspiration with others, they can improve our social life. They can help us to build self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-efficacy. They can make us more curious and leave us feeling more optimistic. The benefits of creativity, imagination, and inspiration are not necessarily dependent on direct engagement. We can access much of their power vicariously. Attending a concert, visiting an art museum, or reading a story can still give us access to many of these benefits. What is important is that we give ourselves permission to engage in creative thinking and tasks, use our imagination, and be inspired. Only when we interrupt old patterns and open ourselves to possibilities can we break out of unhelpful cycles of thought and create new paths. Of course, there is no better time to start than now.

January 17, 2022

The Master Teacher Blog