The Master Teacher Blog

Historically, education has been one of the last places where partisan politics and conflicts were likely to play out. School-board elections were relatively quiet affairs in which community-minded people stepped forward to lend their time to guide and support their local schools. School curriculum was rarely a flash point for conflict and debate. Schools were places where consistency and support were largely assumed.

However, in the aftermath of the pandemic, schools and the world of education itself have become fertile ground for debate, conflict, and conspiracy. Issues that used to be taken for granted are spotlighted for attack. Partisan politics have become commonplace in school-board races, policy debates, and instructional practices.

Amid such conflict and confusion, we can become distracted from the fundamental responsibilities schools exist to fulfill. So many of the debates are around side issues and distractions that we can lose focus on what is most important. Yet, our voices and our advocacy remain important and need to play a role in the debate over what schools should be and need to do. More than ever, we need to focus on what is most important and what our students need us to do on their behalf. Putting aside the distractions and manufactured issues, here are ten things worth our fighting for:

A safe and supportive environment: Physical, emotional, and psychological safety must be priorities. Students deserve learning environments that are free from bullying, bias, and intimidation. They need to know that there are adults around them who know and are ready to advocate for them.

A future filled with opportunities: Students deserve to experience an education that prepares them for the future they choose. They deserve ample opportunities to develop skills, be exposed to multiple career and life options, and build social currency in the community and beyond. A student’s family or history should not be predictive of their future.

Opportunities to speak and be heard: Students’ perspectives and input should be valued in decisions regarding their school experience. A student’s academic record, family, or social standing should not determine whether their voice is heard and heeded. Respect must be assured regardless of who chooses to speak.

Fair and equitable discipline: A student’s race, socioeconomic status, behavior history, or other demographic factors must not drive discipline decisions. Discipline needs to be seen as an equitable opportunity for teaching and learning rather than as an occasion for punishment. When consequences are called for, they should be in response to the specific behavior, not the personality or identity of the student.

Respect for culture, history, and life experiences: The curriculum needs to reflect the makeup of the student population and offer exposure to a wide variety of perspectives, traditions, and experiences. Students need to see relevance in their learning experiences, and the curriculum should foster a sense of identity and belonging in addition to academic content.

Instruction that is responsive to what students are ready to learn: Instruction should be designed with students in mind. Their learning needs, readiness, and uniqueness must be key considerations in how instruction is presented, support is offered, and progress is assessed. Students, regardless of special needs and gifts, deserve to be supported in a manner that fosters success for them.

Exposure to diverse perspectives: Students should be exposed to and have opportunities to engage with others who think differently, have different life experiences, and approach life in unique ways. Learning needs to be embedded in context and be rich with opportunities to explore and develop unique ideas and perspectives. Students should be encouraged to appreciate other ways of thinking and varied viewpoints.

Access to arts, sports, clubs, and other extracurricular activities: Students need multiple places to belong and varied opportunities to develop skills beyond academics. They deserve access to informal opportunities to make friends and learn to work and play productively with others. Students should have places beyond the classroom where they feel connected and belong.

Well-prepared and supported staff: Teachers and other staff need access to rich resources and learning opportunities to develop the skills necessary to prepare today’s students for a world of rapid change, unpredictability, and constant innovation. Compensation, working conditions, and expectations must support educators at a level that is adequate and sustainable. Much of what is worth fighting for will become empty promises if school staff members lack the resources and support to be able to deliver.

Equitable access to resources and support: Adequate funding and facilities are fundamental to supporting opportunities and options for students to succeed. Curricular opportunities need to be rich and not restricted to certain groups of students. Mental and physical health services must be available and aligned with the needs of students. Allocation of resources should be based on needs and the creation of opportunities for success.

Fighting for what is important takes courage. The future of our students and our society depends on sustained advocacy for what matters and what will make our shared future better. We may be tempted to remain quiet and hope that the situation will improve. However, our students have too much to lose to justify our silence. As the saying goes: If not us, who? If not now, when?

Despite how positive and optimistic we seek to be, we can find ourselves pulled down by having to listen to what feel like chronic complainers. Regardless of the situation, some people always seem to find something to complain about. They may even appear to be addicted to complaining. Sound familiar? For these people, nothing ever seems good enough, they are quick to find problems, and they often ignore what seem like obvious solutions.

Of course, some complaints are legitimate and deserve consideration and action. We need to be careful to avoid assuming that a complaint coming from a frequent complainer is not worthy and deserving of attention. In these cases, we need to be ready to listen and consider their complaint with an open mind and give it legitimate attention.

However, responding effectively and productively to chronic complainers is not always simple. We hear lots of advice, but it is often contradictory. Some people advise using humor, while others counsel to avoid making light of or discounting concerns. Some suggest pointing out the good things in the complainer’s life or situation, but others counter that with caution to avoid appearing to minimize the significance of the concern. Still others suggest drawing attention to the frequency with which the person complains, but others offer the counter-advice of recognizing that the current complaint may be legitimate.

The best approach, of course, is to consider the complainer and complaints within context. Choosing how to respond depends on what we know about the complainer and complaint, our relationship to the complainer, and the power we may have to do something about the situation. Each of these factors can play a role in the strategy we choose for responding and the results we hope to achieve.

Fortunately, there is a five-step approach to engaging with chronic complainers around which there is broad agreement:

1. We can listen for the need. Complaints can be intended to meet a variety of needs. As we listen, we might ask ourselves: What is driving this complaint? Is the complainer seeking attention? Does the complainer want recognition or to be taken seriously? Or is the complainer looking for a solution and the support to implement it? Understanding what is driving a complaint can provide the insight we need to respond effectively.
2. We need to empathize and acknowledge the concern. We may not agree with the substance of the complaint, but we can recognize how the complainer sees the situation and empathize with how they might feel as a result. Arguing rarely moves the conversation forward or leads to resolution.
3. We can ask what they see as a good solution. We may find that the complainer offers a useful answer to move the situation forward. If we assume that what we are about to hear is just another complaint, we risk missing what could be an important issue to be resolved. If we hear a promising solution, we might ask what the complainer sees as some initial steps toward resolution.
4. If the complainer seems stuck on the complaint, we might nudge the conversation toward solutions and shifting their perspective. We might ask if there is another way to look at the situation. Or we might inquire about what they have tried and what else they have considered.
5. If the conversation seems not to be moving forward, we might ask, “Do you want my advice?” If the complainer is genuinely stuck, they are likely to be open to hear what we might offer. We might suggest some initial steps, share some ideas about who would be able to do something about their complaint, or we might suggest some additional options for them to consider.

The complainer may choose to do nothing to resolve their complaint, but they will have been assured that their concern was heard and taken seriously. Meanwhile, we will have modeled a process that positions the complainer to take responsibility for finding a solution, not just identifying and voicing a complaint.

We know the power of strong, positive student relationships. When students are confident that we like and care about them, they are more likely to listen to what we say, comply with what we ask, and strive to meet the expectations we set. In addition, with positive relationships, our level of stress goes down, we have more energy to focus on our work, and we feel more confident in trying new strategies, even if they may not initially be perfect.

Yet, the truth is that there are students with whom we may not connect, who press our buttons, and who we may just simply not like very much. Still, we have a responsibility to accept, support, and care for each student regardless of our private feelings.

The source of our struggle with some students likely varies depending on circumstance and the individual student. Researchers point to at least four potential causes of when we find ourselves challenged to like someone, in this case a student.

The student may remind us of someone else. Our relationship and experience with the other person can color our perceptions about and feelings toward the student. This phenomenon is known as transference. Often, we are not even aware of the presence of transference. When we experience strong negative feelings about a student that are not directly connected to any specific behavior, we need to stop and ask ourselves what is happening and whether our assumptions and perceptions may be playing a role.

We also may be responding to signals we are receiving from the student indicating that they do not like us. Consequently, we may find ourselves not liking the student in return. Unfortunately, our responding in kind will make the situation worse. The student may feel they have reason to dislike us even more, and we will face even greater challenges in building a positive and productive relationship.

We may be reacting to our own life experience. We may have grown up in a family where certain behaviors and attitudes were strongly rejected, or we might have experienced harsh treatment and learned to manage our responses in ways that allowed us to avoid disapproval and other negative responses. Now, as adults, we can harbor feelings and expectations that have roots in our experiences during childhood and adolescence. When students behave in a manner that is not consistent with what we were taught as “proper,” we may struggle to relate to and understand them.

We may be projecting feelings about ourselves. We might struggle to manage our own anger, and consequently, we may respond with greater emotion to a student who fails to control their anger. Or we may have grown up in a family that struggled financially, and as a result, we might find it difficult to connect with students whose families have substantial financial resources.

The question, of course, is how we can overcome the relationship barriers we face. Here are five questions to consider when we struggle to form a relationship with a student:

• What is behind the feelings I am experiencing? Might one of the four challenges discussed above be at play? Is there something about the situation that I must own? Awareness is the first step to finding a productive path forward.
• What might I be assuming about this student or situation that I need to examine? Is what bothers me valid, or am I projecting my feelings and history on the student? Choosing to assume positive intentions and suspending judgment can open the door to exploring and building a relationship.
• Is there something about the student with which I can relate? Finding even one aspect of the student we can admire, embrace, support, or nurture can open the door to seeing the student differently.
• Who seems to have a strong relationship with this student? We can check with colleagues to gain their perspective. It may be that others do not share our perception and can offer valuable insights to help us move beyond our assumptions and projections.
• What steps might I take to move beyond my feelings about and perceptions of this student? Committing to take on the challenge of forming a relationship can lead to the development of new skills and offer the opportunity to let go of feelings and perceptions that get in the way of this and other relationships.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne W. Dyer

The first days of a new school year are typically filled with anticipation and excitement—and some nervousness. As teachers, we are engaged in a new beginning. We have an agenda and a plan, and we can shape the path that lies ahead.

Students experience many of the same feelings. However, they have less control over what lies ahead and thus feel even more uncertainty about what the experience will be like. Consequently, they come with many questions, even if they may not ask them explicitly.

As we think about the first days of the new year, we might consider the questions students will have so that we can think about how we will answer them in ways that set a positive tone and preview an attractive, meaningful, and reassuring start to their learning journey. Here are six questions we can be sure are on students’ minds and to which they are hoping for answers.

“Is my teacher interested in me?” For students we have not had in the past, the first week of school is too early to have a relationship, but students will be looking for clues to discern whether a positive relationship is likely. Do we greet students as they arrive in our classroom? Do we make eye contact and notice their presence? Is it obvious that we are committed to learning their names? Are we interested in learning something about them?

“Do I feel like I am accepted and belong?” We might plan some community-building activities to help students reconnect with existing friends and discover potential new friends. We can share the classroom behavior norms and rules, including the reasons behind them. Even better, we can engage students in the discussion and development of norms and behavior expectations. When we do, they will be more likely to feel ownership of and accept and abide by what is decided. Remember: Students will be asking themselves whether they can be themselves or if they must monitor and modify their behavior to fit in.

“What is expected of me?” Students are likely to want to know if they will be expected to sit and listen, or if they will be invited and encouraged to contribute ideas, insights, and experiences. Will learning be directed or co-constructed? We can share examples of how we will design and approach learning tasks and challenges. We might share an estimate of how much out-of-class time students should expect to spend on assignments and projects. We should also consider discussing how much background knowledge will be necessary to succeed in this class and how we will help students to fill any knowledge gaps.

“What am I going to learn?” This is a time to “sell” what we intend to teach. Students will likely be asking themselves whether the content sounds interesting and how they might use or benefit from what they will learn. This is a great time to answer the “why” of learning the content and skills we will be introducing and nurturing during the class.

“Can I be successful?” To reduce our new students’ fears of failure, we might share tips and strategies that previous students have found helpful. We can assure students that we expect them to succeed—and believe they will. We might also share with students the supports available should they begin to struggle.

“Is this a class that I will enjoy?” The answer to this question rests on what students have learned from the first five questions. If students feel that we are interested in them and want them to feel accepted, and if they believe that they can participate and be successful, this is likely to be a class to which they will look forward and in which they will invest.

We only have one opportunity to get off to a good start. It is worth the time and effort to think through what students want to know and how we can provide the information and assurance they will be seeking.

Among the students we teach are many who demonstrate special talents. Some students possess talents they fail to develop, while others may have yet undiscovered talents that could propel them to success. Each of these students deserves our attention and support. However, despite the best of intentions, we can make mistakes, misinterpret situations, and misstep in our relationship with them.  

For some students, having a special talent can feel like a burden. For others, their talent can feel like their entire identity. Still other students may possess talent that is of limited interest to them. Our approach and support for these students can make a crucial difference in their learning experience and their relationship to their talent. Here are five potential missteps to which we can fall victim as we work with talented or seemingly talented students and accompanying “sidesteps” to avoid slip-ups. 

Misstep #1: Conflating a student’s talent with their identity. When students exhibit talent in an unusual or high-profile area, it can be tempting to see these students through the lens of their talent. In too many cases, the student’s talent becomes intertwined with their identity. Consider high-profile athletes who are seen as having physical talent but may not be assumed to have artistic interests or academic potential. Similarly, students with an aptitude for technology are often assumed to be introverted or singularly focused on coding, video games, and other technology-related activities, yet they may be outgoing, interpersonally engaging, and masterful communicators.  

Sidestep: We need to recognize the obvious talents these students possess while remaining attentive to other areas in which they may be talented or capable of developing new areas of interest, growth, and performance. At the same time, we need to encourage each student to resist accepting an identify that is defined by their talent. 

Misstep #2: Coaching and nurturing a student to develop a single, narrow talent. When we know a student has a talent in one area, we can make the mistake of assuming it is their primary—or only—talent. Students can have multiple talents, including those of which we are unaware or that the student has yet to discover. While a recognized talent may be a significant contributor to a student’s success, it may be one of many potential talents that the student can develop.  

Sidestep: We might encourage students, regardless of currently visible talents, to continue to explore areas in which they are interested and show ability. Not every talent is immediately visible or obviously present. Commitment, effort, and persistence can lead to an area of interest and aptitude becoming a unique talent. 

Misstep #3: Assuming possession of talent equals interest and commitment. Some students may possess a special aptitude but have little interest in pursuing its development or application. As much as we might desire that the student treasure and build the talent, the talent is owned by the student, and the student should be allowed to decide what to do—or not do—with it.  

Sidestep: We might encourage the student to build and apply the talent they possess. However, we accomplish little if we continue to press the issue. Once we have had our say, we need to step back and allow the student to determine where they will put their effort and whether they will pursue the talent we recognize. 

Misstep #4: Generalizing the presence of talent from a single instance or action. We may witness a behavior, hear an insight, or observe something that leads us to conclude that a student has a particular talent. However, what we see or hear may be a misinterpretation of what the student did or the talent they possess. Attempting to reinforce what we perceive can lead to confusion and stress as the student does not see the talent in themselves and may not have an interest in developing it.  

Sidestep: We might discuss with the student what we observed or heard and explore whether they might possess or could develop a talent in the noted area. Of course, we might be correct and help the student uncover and develop a talent they had not recognized in themself. However, we need to be careful not to push and press if the student does not respond accordingly.  

Misstep #5: Projecting our hopes and wishes for talent on a student. Sometimes we see ourselves in students, and we may want them to succeed in an area we wish we had developed. Or we may confuse our goals with the interests of the student. For example, a talented student might make us look good and even lead to praise and awards for us.  

Sidestep: We can step back and ask ourselves whose interests we are making a priority. While we want to do all that we can to have our students be successful, we also need to give them space to learn, grow, and succeed on their own. They need to make their own choices. We cannot live vicariously through them.  

Talent can be a magical, but confusing, aspect of a student’s life. It can feel like an incredible blessing or a regretful curse. Our challenge is to help students appreciate the gifts they have while respecting and supporting them to maintain a healthy perspective, make wise decisions, and build their talent in ways that work best for them.  

The disengagement we see from and in our students can take a variety of forms. Students may choose not to volunteer information or respond to our questions. They may not complete assigned work or “complete” it by doing the bare minimum and providing insubstantial responses. They may even actively disengage by putting their head down, putting earbuds in while we are providing instruction, or taking it upon themselves to substitute an activity other than what the rest of the class is doing. Our emotional response to the behavior can range from mild irritation to frustration—even anger. After all, this type of student behavior can slow the momentum of a lesson or even interrupt the flow and focus of what we are trying to accomplish.

Of course, there are many potential reasons for non-participatory behavior, and unless we know what is causing the behavior, we are not likely to be able to correct it. Sometimes we can discover the cause simply through observation. Other times, we need to meet with the student privately and try to initiate a productive dialogue. Or we may have to be content with trying some things and seeing what happens. Here are six of the most common causes of students choosing not to participate, as well as strategies we can use to respond.

Students may fail to understand the relevance and value of what they are being asked to do and learn. It is true that students today are often less patient and compliant than even a few years ago. They want to know how what we are presenting and asking them to learn has a worthy purpose and is relevant to their lives. When they fail to see a relevant reason for learning, many choose not to invest in it. As educators, we may be quick to take the position that all learning is valuable and that students should choose to learn simply because it is expected of them. While this approach may have been effective in the past, for many students, it is no longer a persuasive argument. Students often ask, “Why should I?” or “How will I even use this?” In our responses, we can start by sharing the purpose and utility of what we are asking them to learn. Our approach may need to be proactive and explicit in that we might not always wait for students to ask “Why?” before answering that very question. We may occasionally even challenge students to make connections between what they learn in class and their personal lives. Of course, not everything students are asked to learn may be immediately relevant to them, but frequent, authentic connections can reduce the need for students to always seek the task’s immediate purpose. It can also increase the likelihood of sparking interest and stimulating participation.

Many students want more autonomy. Some students automatically push back when they feel that their behavior is firmly directed or overtly forced. Others may minimally comply but still feel a lack of ownership of their work. These students need another approach. We can sidestep many of these issues by offering multiple options or choices for completing the work and demonstrating understanding. Authentic choice can increase student effort, lift the level of their performance, and build their learning. For example, among the choice options we might offer for engagement and proof of learning are demonstrations, 3D renderings, debates, music, drawing, and even coding.

For a significant number of students, refusal to participate is driven by fear of failure. Studies have shown that as much as 20% of classroom misbehavior can be linked to fear or expectations of failure. Students often choose not to participate, to misbehave, or to engage in other off-task behavior to avoid the risk and embarrassment of not being successful after a genuine attempt. For these students, the consequences of misbehavior are often seen as less painful than being revealed as unable to succeed. We can counter some of that fear of failure by giving students foundational, low-stakes opportunities to engage and succeed. Over time, a pattern of success can give students the confidence to take greater learning risks. We can also find success with these students when we focus on feedback that helps them to connect their efforts to growing success. Delaying the assignment of grades to student work as long as possible can also free these students to take learning risks without the distraction of the grade they will receive.

Some students choose not to participate because of feelings of isolation and lack of belonging. The absence of social connections and sense of support from other students can be a significant barrier to participation; the source of these feelings may be the lack of social status, absence of friendships, or even a student’s personal appearance and characteristics that drive a wedge with other students. Feelings of isolation and separation can be even stronger if teasing, shaming, bullying, or laughing are allowed responses to lack of success. We can counter much of what these students experience by establishing and enforcing norms of respect and acceptance. We can also design activities that give students opportunities to make personal connections and form friendships that might not exist outside of our class.

There may be students who choose not to participate due to that absence of a relationship with us. Some students are challenging for us to connect with. Some students may have a history with teachers, or adults in general, that leave them reluctant to even want to form a relationship, let alone try. However, when we fail to connect with our students, we lose access to a powerful motivational force. Students generally want to please adults who care about them—and whom they care about. They are more likely to participate, even take risks, if they know that we have their back and will be ready to support, encourage, and coach them to success. When a relationship is missing, students are more likely to let things go, fail to invest, and maybe even disrupt the learning environment for disruption’s sake. As difficult as it may be, and as long as it takes, we need to do all that we can to form and nurture positive relationships with our students.

For a growing number of students, failure to engage and participate is driven by factors outside of school. For these students, stress, worry, and family disruption can make the ability to focus on and commit to academics a stretch. When students are not certain where they will be sleeping or eating that evening, when they anticipate disruption and chaos at home, and when they may even fear for their personal safety, school can be a secondary concern at most. Sometimes, the best we can do is get to know our students and understand what they are facing. We can make our classroom a safe, predictable, stable space in their lives. It may be that just communicating our understanding will be an influential counterweight to help our students engage and learn despite what else is happening in their lives.

We know that unless students choose to participate in the learning activities and experiences we design, learning is likely to be compromised. Understanding why students may be reluctant to engage is a crucial first step in countering the behavior and opening the door to full participation and learning success. Once we know why, we can use our experience and expertise to plan how to respond.

The importance of having strong, positive relationships with our students is unsurprising and universally accepted. Naturally, our work is more fulfilling when we spend our days with students about whom we care—and who care about us in return. Yet, the significance and utility of strong student relationships goes beyond simply feeling connected to and comfortable with our students.

In fact, the relationships we build with our students position us to influence them in multiple ways and allow them to make our work more impactful. Here are five accessible areas of influence strong student relationships create.

“Nudge muscle”: Some of the most potent opportunities to influence our students’ thinking, behavior, and decisions are found outside of formal requests or directives. Sometimes students may need a nudge, rather than a push. Not unlike a mother bird whose offspring is ready to fly but reluctant to leave the nest, a gentle nudge may be all that is needed. When we have nurtured strong, caring relationships with students, they become tuned in to what we have to say and what it means for them. Our influence might take the form of a little nudge to help students take the next step or make a timely decision. A quiet suggestion, a nuanced observation, or a seemingly offhand question can have an outsized influence when students trust us and care about what we say and think.

Expectation impact: Expectations can have a powerful influence on students’ aspirations, efforts, and commitments, but only when they are anchored in caring and encouraging relationships. Unfortunately, in the absence of a relationship, expectations can be ignored or even become points of resistance. Our expectations reflect the confidence we have in the potential of our students; when students know that we care and have faith in them, our expectations can have a potent impact.

Advice access: For a variety of reasons, students are often wary of the advice they receive from adults. However, when students know that we truly want the best for them and when we have developed a trusting relationship, we can gain access to the ability to give advice that is actually heard. The impact of our advice may not always be obvious or immediate, but the absence of visible action or reaction does not mean that we have not been heard or that our advice will not be heeded. In fact, advice given in these circumstances can often have a lifelong impact, subtle or not.

Modeling traction: Much of what we want to teach our students cannot be found in the curriculum and may never appear on a formal assessment. These lessons come in the form of modeling. What we say, what we do not say, how we act, how we react, what we embrace, and what we reject are carefully observed by students, especially when students feel connected to and cared for by us. We can be surprised when students use our words, adopt our thinking, or aspire to be like us, but we should not be. They are, after all, just responding to our modeling.

Misstep tolerance: Teaching is also a learning profession; in other words, the role of a teacher is also to be a learner. Learning new techniques and approaches keeps our practice fresh and helps us to respond to the changing needs of our students. Yet, learning and practicing new skills can be risky. Attempting something new can mean that we will occasionally make mistakes. However, when we have developed strong, supportive, trusting relationships with our students, mistakes can be quickly forgiven and forgotten, and missteps can be corrected without shame and embarrassment.

Forming solid relationships with students can take time and, at times, be challenging. However, relationships can make the difference between wondering if we are “getting through” and actually seeing our influence take root and blossom in the lives of our students.

We know that students try harder, persist longer, and are more successful when they feel valued and accepted. Some students enjoy popularity among their peers and naturally feel as though they fit in. Some students gain acceptance through academic success. Still others may excel in the arts, athletics, or other areas.

However, success does not always translate into feeling a sense of value and belonging, especially in the classroom. What we say, how we relate, and the messages we send to students matter, regardless of students’ stature in other contexts.

In fact, we send hundreds—maybe thousands—of messages every day that students perceive and interpret in order to understand whether they matter and belong in our eyes. In innumerable small ways, we communicate what we think, how we feel, and what—and who—we value.

Unfortunately, what we communicate is not always intentional or even a conscious action on our part. We can develop habits that stand in the way of our communicating to students that they matter, and we can overlook opportunities to communicate to students how much we value them.

Now is a good time to take a few minutes to reflect on how we convince students that they are important to us and that they matter. Here are ten elements we can use to get started.

First, notice and greet students. Whether when they enter the classroom, when you pass them in the hallway, or when you encounter them at activities or in the community, noticing students matters. Greeting students by name, supported by a smile, can mean more than we realize.

Second, make eye contact. When listening to and speaking with students, we can be distracted by the task at hand or what we need to do next. Stopping what we are doing, making eye contact, and giving our full attention communicates respect and attentiveness. When students experience that attentiveness, they understand that they matter.

Third, be courteous. Saying “please,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” and other common courtesies may seem obvious, but in our hurried and pressured world, we can forget that students are as worthy of our respect as any adults with whom we interact. Showing respect tells students they matter.

Fourth, be quick to say “I’m sorry.” It may not seem like much, but when we are willing to admit our mistakes, take responsibility, and apologize to students, we communicate that they matter enough for us to want to make things right with them.

Fifth, assume good intentions. What we believe about students has an impact on how we interpret what they say and do. If we choose to think that students are well intended and typically do not want to misbehave or even be disrespectful, we are likely to inquire and explore rather than accuse or criticize. Starting with a premise of positivity reduces the need for students to defend themselves or push back.

Sixth, treat missteps, mistakes, and errors as opportunities for learning. Some of the most powerful learning in life comes in response to mistakes and even failure. We tell students they matter when we respond to missteps and mistakes with inquiry and instruction rather than shame and punishment.

Seventh, explain the “why” of learning. When students understand why they are asked to learn and how what they learn will be useful, they are more likely to invest in learning. Meanwhile, taking time to engage students in the reasons for and value of learning communicates respect and valuing.

Eighth, refuse to give up when students struggle. Students are often quick to give up on themselves when learning is not easy. They may have a history of struggle and assume that they are not capable of learning challenging things. Our patience, persistence, and belief that they will succeed can send a strong message that they are valuable and capable.

Ninth, be curious. Students come with a variety of experiences, backgrounds, and family circumstances. Showing interest in who students are beyond inhabitants of our classroom sends a message of worth. Further, the more we know about students, the better able we are to make connections and help them find relevance in what they are learning.

Tenth, search for students’ gifts and talents. Some students may excel in academic areas. Others may be talented artists or athletes. Still others may be gifted leaders. However, every student has a potential gift. When we are “tuned in” to the talents students may possess—including talents beyond the obvious—and help them to discover and develop what makes them special, we send a message that students can become more than they are and might imagine.

Some students require little convincing and reassurance that they matter and fit in. Others need to hear explicitly and consistently that our classroom is a place where they are valued and included. Fortunately, we hold the power to make our classroom a place where everyone can belong and feel safe.

Each student who enters our classroom has unique characteristics and needs that deserve our attention. However, exceptionally shy students can present a special type of challenge. They often experience barriers to engaging in some of the most important learning activities, including discussion, debate, and even verbally answering questions. In response, we must be thoughtful and intentional as we endeavor to engage and instruct these learners.

Shy students reveal themselves in a variety of ways. They typically offer nonverbal clues such as the lack of eye contact or choosing to physically isolate, and they often slump while keeping their arms close to their bodies, as though they are trying to occupy as little physical space as possible. They may have few friends and not initiate conversations with other students. In class, they may rarely, if ever, volunteer to participate or be reluctant to answer a direct question in front of a group. They sometimes also adopt perfectionist tendencies, fearing that a misstep will draw unwelcomed attention.

However, it is a mistake to assume that shy students are not bright or capable of finding success. Shyness can mask intellect and hide curiosity. Our challenge is to help these students develop the courage, habits, and skills to overcome, or at least manage, their shyness.  

Yet, unless we are intentional in our efforts to support the learning and growth of shy students, we can make costly mistakes. Our failure to attend to the needs of shy students can have immediate consequences and long-term implications for their mental health and learning. Here are five of the most common mistakes educators make when teaching timid students and suggestions for how to avoid or overcome them.

The first mistake is failing to make expectations clear. Uncertainty can be a major source of anxiety for shy students. Structure, on the other hand, can provide comfort and reassurance. Having standard procedures and established routines provides shy students with a sense of what they can expect, how they might protect themselves, and how they can engage safely with learning and the class. Class norms for participation, interaction, listening, and respect can increase both the comfort and the confidence of shy students.

A second mistake is putting the spotlight on shy students in front of the rest of the class. Using shy students as examples, comparing their behavior to other more outgoing students, or even having them respond to a question without prior warning or preparation can generate fear and ignite panic. Rather than making them more confident, these experiences can further deepen their anxiety and make them even more fearful. Our actions can also place our relationship with these students at risk. Unexpectedly asking a timid student to do something well outside of their comfort level can feel uncaring, hurtful, and even cruel. As an alternative, we might meet with the student in advance and discuss what we want them to do and coach their readiness. In extreme cases, we might even rehearse with the student what they could say and do.

Third is failing to provide a safe path to build engagement and participation. Asking timid students to take big risks can backfire. For some students, the consequences for doing nothing are preferable to the prospect of having to speak or perform in front of an audience, even when the audience is made up of classmates. Rather, we might offer smaller, incremental steps that present manageable risk and exposure. Our coaching, encouragement, and reinforcement can help to build confidence and make the next steps easier and feel less risky.

A fourth misstep is ignoring opportunities for shy students to demonstrate their learning in more than one way. Some students who are reluctant to speak in front of a group might enthusiastically and articulately present what they have learned by writing about it. In some cases, shy students might be willing to demonstrate a process or procedure but would be reluctant to verbally describe it. Of course, there are times when the learning goal involves verbal descriptions and public speaking. When this is the case, we need to provide the scaffolding and support necessary to move shy students toward the objective without making the risk so high that we lose them.

Fifth is assigning shy students to groups without considering the dynamics. Placing shy students with certain peers may increase their anxiety and sense of isolation. They can become overwhelmed by the pressure and behavior of more active, social extroverts. Where possible, we might include at least one other student who is sensitive and will likely be supportive of a shy student. We also might assign specific roles aligned with the purpose of the group activity and take into account the personalities of group members. Of course, establishing clear norms for group operation and participation can provide important structure and reassurance for students who might otherwise become lost.

Teaching shy students can be a challenge, but it also can offer great rewards. The opportunity to watch a student emerge from their “shell,” build new confidence, and experience the opportunities that full engagement with life can bring is not to be missed. Equally rewarding is that we know we played a role in making this transformation happen.