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The Master Teacher Blog
Providing you, the K-12 leader, with the help you need to lead with clarity, credibility, and confidence in the ever-evolving world of education.
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Simple but Game-Changing Practices to Feature Every Week

Climate and Culture, Relationships and Connections

Simple but Game-Changing Practices to Feature Every Week

What if, by investing a few minutes each day, you could significantly reduce disruptive behavior, increase student engagement, and reclaim up to an hour of instruction time? What if, by investing a few minutes each day, you could dramatically lengthen and strengthen the impact of the feedback and praise you give to students, and build exceptionally strong connections with them to best support their learning? Seems impossible, right? Maybe not.

The truth is that we can gain all these benefits and more by regularly engaging in five simple practices. These practices do not require an exceptional amount of time, but they can generate exceptional benefits. Let’s explore these student-focused behaviors and why they can be so powerful. 

Positive, personal greetings. Meeting students at the door, greeting them by name, and giving fist bumps or similar gestures may not seem like much. However, studies show that warm greetings and brief check-ins can have a significant impact on how the day will go. One study found that these simple acts can increase student engagement by as much as 20% and reduce disruptive behavior by 9%. The difference can add up to as much as a full hour of additional instruction time per day!

Positive, specific feedback, compliments, and praise. Noticing and talking with students about their excellent attitude, improved effort, and other positive behaviors lets them know that they are seen, valued, and belong. We can make our messages even more powerful and memorable if we extend our message for as little as 20 seconds. By telling students what we noticed, why it is important, and the difference it made, we dramatically increase the impact and memorability of what we say.

Personal connections. There is amazing power in sharing what we are passionate about, people we admire, challenges we’ve faced, embarrassing moments, and other personal information that helps students understand and connect with who we are. Having students see us as regular people who share some of their life experiences and have overcome what life has presented can be a powerful connector. Of course, we need to avoid oversharing or being too personal or intimate but having students feel as though the know us beyond our professional role opens the door to stronger relationships and can build greater credibility. Sharing a few facts, stories, or interests every week can go a long way in building the connections we need to influence the students we teach. 

Individual conversations. Brief one-one-one conversations with students about how they are doing inside and outside of school also can open communication and build connections. The information we gain can help us to better understand, support, and motivate students. Meanwhile, students will appreciate the attention and interest we show. Setting aside time for conversations with a few students each week and rotating among students can make the conversations manageable while generating rich information that can help us to relate to and teach students.  

Invite input and listen to students. Students feel our trust and respect when we take the time to ask their opinions, seek their ideas, and listen to their perspectives. We might ask for their suggestions regarding class routines and rules. We can occasionally pause and seek input regarding what is and isn’t working for students. Depending on the age and maturity of our students, we might inquire about their preferences for how to approach a learning task. We may not always be able to accommodate and implement what students suggest, but when we listen, consider, and explain why we can or cannot use their input we demonstrate our respect for them and their perspectives.

Obviously, time is a precious resource. We want to use every minute to our advantage. The good news about these five practices is that by investing a few minutes every day and week, we can recapture time and accrue benefits that far outweigh the effort they require.

Seven “Hooks” to Forge Strong Student Relationships

Climate and Culture, Relationships and Connections

Seven “Hooks” to Forge Strong Student Relationships

One of the most important and challenging beginning-of-the-year tasks is forming strong, positive, influential relationships with students. Building relationships with some students comes easily. We may have past experiences with them, they may be confident and ready to form a relationship with us, or they may share characteristics and behave in ways that draw us to them.

However, our challenge is to form influential relationships with all students. Not every student is immediately open to forming a relationship. Some students may lack the confidence or skills to respond to or reach out to us. Other students may have a history that makes relationship building difficult.

Consequently, we need a strategy that is broad and encompassing enough to invite, interest, and accept students, despite their backgrounds, experiences, and skills. Here are seven relationship-building “hooks” we can employ to communicate our care, demonstrate our respect, and create new connections.

First, lead with your heart. Students want to know we care. Caring counts for all students, but for students who struggle, have or are experiencing trauma, lack confidence, or are not certain they belong, our caring can make a crucial difference in how they feel and learn. Our empathy and compassion reassure and invite connections with students.

Second, demonstrate and expect honesty. If we want students to trust us, we need to articulate and model its importance. Our willingness to prioritize fairness, consistency, and transparency can assure students of our trustworthiness. Further, when we assume the honesty of students, we communicate our trust in them. Obviously, trust is at the heart of strong relationships.    

Third, consistently communicate and encourage hope. Students want to feel our belief in them and their success. We can treat their mistakes and setbacks as nothing more that temporary conditions and opportunities to learn and try again. Of course, our hope and confidence are most important when students do not feel the same way about themselves.   

Fourth, show your humanity. Sometimes students are surprised that teachers are real people who have lives outside of school. By sharing appropriate information about ourselves and our families, we invite students to understand and relate to us. Knowing our interests, our passions, and even our dislikes can be interesting and appealing to students. When we use personal experiences and examples to explain a concept or reinforce a point, we also make it more meaningful and memorable.  

Fifth, demonstrate humility. We are not­­­­­—nor should we pretend to be—perfect. Students often assume that teachers “know everything.” Consequently, our openness and willingness to admit our mistakes and learn from them can be surprising and reassuring. Our humility also makes us human and can facilitate relationship building.

Sixth, enjoy and share humor. Humor is a strong connection builder. Humor can break tension, relieve stress, and make us accessible to students. Delighting in the unexpected, appreciating irony, and even telling a weak “dad joke” can help students see us as safe for relationship building. However, we need to be careful to avoid humor that is disrespectful or at the expense of another person.

Seventh, look for ways to honor students. When we notice and value the experiences and cultures of our students, we send a message of respect. Recognizing and reinforcing positive behavior not only reduces incidents of negative behavior, but it also reassures students that we are paying attention and appreciate their cooperation. Finding frequent, small ways to honor effort, progress, and achievements communicates our expectations and support. Students are drawn to people who notice, value, and respect them.

Relationship building is important, but it is not always easy. We need good strategies and patience. These seven “hooks” can support a good start. What else have you found to be effective relationship building actions? Consider sharing your go-to secrets with your colleagues.   

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