The Master Teacher Blog

Estimates are that teachers make as many as fifteen hundred student-related decisions per day, more than just about any other profession. Some decisions are routine, while others cannot be anticipated. Some decisions carry little risk and have low impact, where others may carry long-term implications for our students and our relationships with them. Some decisions are accompanied by clear criteria and implications. Others come with limited information and are filled with uncertainty and risk. The result: The number and nature of daily decisions we face can wear us out; this condition is known as decision fatigue.

Unfortunately, decision fatigue can then lead us to make poor decisions. We can fail to fully assess the implications of decisions we make, we may ignore key information that should inform our decisions, or we may choose options that do not align with our goals. We may even put off decisions that should and could be made in real time.

Decision fatigue can also lead to levels of frustration and anger that are disproportionate to the situations we face. We can find ourselves making impulsive decisions we otherwise would resist. We may feel as though we are not capable of recognizing the best choice to make. The bottom line is that we risk not relying on our best judgment when the number of decisions we must make leaves us feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.

Of course, we cannot avoid making decisions entirely, nor should we. The decisions we make determine the nature, direction, and productivity of not only our day, but also the day our students will experience. However, there are steps we can take and strategies we can employ to make our “decision load” more manageable and position us to give greater attention and thought to the most important decisions we make.

First, we can be clear about our values and goals. Many decisions become easy when we consider their impact on our students’ learning and their alignment with our professional practice standards. Unfortunately, when we make decisions in the heat of the moment that are not in the best interests of our students or aligned with our professional commitments, the regret and guilt we feel can add to our frustration and exhaustion.

Second, we can reduce the number of decisions we have to make. We know the value of routines for common processes and procedures in our classes. However, we may be able to expand our use of classroom routines by asking the question: What am I doing that my students can do? By giving students greater responsibility, we can free up time and energy to allocate to higher leverage decisions and activities. Further, when we establish routines for our own time and activities before and after school, we can reduce the number of decisions we have to make when we are feeling stressed or tired.

Third, we can prioritize the decisions we face. Before we begin our day, we might identify the most important decisions we expect to face and give some pre-thought to options and approaches that might lead to the best outcomes. When it is time to decide, we will be better prepared and able to rely less on in-the-moment thinking. Additionally, sorting the decisions we must make can help us to identify decisions that are not important or urgent and can be delayed or avoided.

Fourth, we can develop a process for making common and frequent decisions. We might think about decisions that we face monthly, weekly, or daily and reflect on what has worked in the past, what information we will need to collect, and what options are likely to be available. Not every decision has to be treated as unique. However, we need to be careful not to treat unique situations as routine or we risk ignoring options, missing opportunities, and short-changing students and their learning.

Fifth, we can set deadlines for making difficult decisions. When we face decisions that carry significant consequences, feature multiple options, and lack clear direction, we can be tempted to put off deciding. Consequently, we can spend excessive energy evaluating options even when we have all the information we need or will have to decide. Meanwhile, we have less time and energy to give to other decisions that demand our attention. Establishing a time by which we will decide we can avoid unnecessary procrastination, while giving needed attention to the decision before us.

Sixth, we can commit to taking mental and physical breaks during the day. Even a short walk and some fresh air can replenish our energy and clear our thinking. A brief non-work-related conversation with a colleague can help us to relax and regroup. Momentarily stepping away from the pressure to decide and orchestrate activities can be an effective antidote to decision fatigue.

We may not be able to avoid making hundreds of decisions each day, but we can create routines, processes, and priorities that allow us to better manage the decisions we face. We can also recapture energy and time to make better decisions and avoid becoming overwhelmed and fatigued by those that remain.

Smith, D. D. (2022, August 9). How to make decision fatigue more bearable. Fast Company. https://www.fastcompany.com/90776828/how-to-make-decision-fatigue-more-bearable

At some point in life, we will all face difficult circumstances, some more challenging than others. We may be victims of someone else’s actions. We might have created the situation without even realizing what was happening. Or circumstances may have transpired and conspired to present us with a difficult challenge.

These times can be particularly difficult because, once they are set in motion, it can feel as though we have lost our ability to control what happens next. Yet, close examination almost always reveals that there is more we can do than we initially imagine. In fact, we have available to us a set of superpowers we can engage if we choose to do so.

These elements deserve to be called superpowers because they hold the potential to help us navigate, overcome, and triumph even in what may seem like the darkest, most challenging circumstances. Equally important, they are completely within our control. We just need to employ them. No one can steal or force them from us unless we allow them to do so. Let’s examine these six superpowers and how we can engage them to guide, support, and help ourselves—and others—to prevail during tough times.

Confidence – Confidence is our belief in ourselves and our potential. No one can bestow confidence on us; it is self-generated. Therefore, it is within our control. We may need to reflect on and revisit times in the past when we have faced difficult decisions and challenges and recall past victories. Confidence alone can help us to get started and persist. Sometimes even acting as though we are confident can lead to our feeling more confidence, especially as we start to see progress; sometimes you just need to fake it ‘til you make it, in other words.

Courage – Tough times can be frightening and anxiety inducing. They can lead us to worry about how things might turn out. Yet, in most situations, our fears outpace what reality is likely to create. Sometimes it helps to ask what the worst-case scenario or scenarios might be. What we discover may not be nearly as bad as we fear. Further, if we can manage the worst outcome, we have no reason not to act. Remember, courage is not an absence of fear. Courage is the willingness to act despite fear. One thing is certain: Failing to act means that others will likely decide the future on our behalf.

Commitment – During difficult times it can be tempting to look for ways to exit the situation without seeing it through. Yet, this choice can mean giving up on what is important to us. It can be helpful to revisit why the challenge or goal we face matters. Recalling our why can help us to align our energy and effort with our purpose. If we waiver, we risk reserving energy and options and undermining our success.

Concentration – Difficult times often feature lots of distractions. We can worry about possibilities that sap our energy but remain beyond our control or ability to influence. Sorting and shutting out distractions and distractors can preserve our energy and help us to focus on what matters and what we can control. Identifying and shutting out useless “noise” can make a big difference. This step can also reduce our temptation to engage in second guessing.

Creativity – When we face tough times, we can feel pressure to return to what is familiar and what we have done in the past, even if what we have tried in the past did not work particularly well. These are good times to step back, seek a new perspective, explore possibilities, test and be willing to abandon assumptions and question old beliefs that may be holding us back. In fact, difficult times can be the stimulus for a new direction, new answers, and future success, but only if we are willing to see them as potential opportunities rather than something just to get through.

Compassion – We need to remember that in times of challenge and even chaos, not everything will be perfect. There will be missteps and setbacks. These are natural and often unavoidable elements in the process of finding our way forward. We may become emotional and say things we later regret. We may make decisions and take steps that we later learn are not useful. Rarely are these things unrepairable. We need to resist blaming ourselves or others and be quick to forgive and move on. When others are involved, we can remind ourselves that while they may not fully understand or share our purpose or commitment, that does not make them bad people.

Rarely would we choose to face difficult circumstances and tough times. However, it can be reassuring to know that when these times come along, we have access to an array of superpowers to see us through them.

Adversity is not fun.

It can press and stress us.

It may depress and distress us.

It can even distract and untrack us.

Yet, adversity can also be a gift that lifts us.

It can be the force that strengthens our wills and builds our skills.

It is only natural that we do what we can to avoid difficult times and extraordinary challenges. We try to anticipate and moderate the problems we face, or we may attempt to sidestep conflict altogether. However, adversity is not always something that can—or even should—be avoided.

We may face adversity when a core principle or significant value is at stake. Adversity can emerge in our efforts to defend an object of importance or in our attempts to create something meaningful and lasting. Adversity also often comes in the form of conditions we do not create or are unable to control.

As difficult as adverse conditions and challenges may be, they can also provide amazingly valuable opportunities to learn and grow. Difficulties can present circumstances that enable us to experience our best selves. In fact, adversity might be the impetus to move us from hesitancy to confidence and from moderately skilled to expert.

Interestingly, the natural world offers some excellent metaphors for how experiencing adversity can offer hidden benefits and important opportunities for us to become our best selves. With this in mind, consider the following:

• The water in a mountain stream is fresh and pure because it tumbles over rocks, cascades over falls, and bounces over rapids. The same water caught in a stagnant pool is dark and stale.

Lesson: Facing challenges can keep us fresh and prevent us from becoming stale in our thinking and stagnant in our approaches.

• The brightest diamonds are formed by the greatest, most sustained pressure. Absent the presence of pressure, diamonds remain clumps of carbon.

Lesson: Pressure can be the gift that allows us to shine.

• The brightest lights shine on the darkest nights. On a sunny day, we can easily miss the presence of a strong light, yet the same light can be seen for miles when other sources of light have dimmed or been extinguished.

Lesson: Our work during the most challenging times can offer the greatest hope and make the biggest difference.

• In the face of a storm, domestic cows try to outrun and avoid the rain and wind, whereas buffalo turn into the storm, understanding that facing what is inevitable often makes it pass more quickly.

Lesson: Facing adversity directly can often shorten its duration and diminish its impact.

• Stormy seas make skilled sailors. While sailors might prefer to sail on calm waters, their best skills are developed when the waves are high and the wind is strong. In the absence of adversity, key skills remain undeveloped and untested.

Lesson: Times of adversity are valuable because they create conditions for us to learn and grow.

It is true that adversity is usually not pleasant. Still, it can be important to our growth and the difference we make. Adversity may not be our choice, but it can be our opportunity.

Occasionally, we have all found ourselves in situations wherein we felt manipulated. It may have been a request, an expectation, an insinuation, or something else that left us feeling confused or uncomfortable. Regardless of the specifics, it was generally not a good feeling.

Some manipulation is the result of happenstance and is not intentional. At other times, we might bring the situation on ourselves by failing to be clear or feeling obligated to cooperate. Fortunately, most people do not attempt to manipulate others as their primary approach to relationships.

Yet, there are certainly people who rely on manipulation as a go-to behavior to get what they want. They may be a colleague, student, friend, or even a family member. They reveal themselves through their frequent reliance of any, some, or all the following behaviors:

• Guilting—Making us feel guilty for not cooperating with or volunteering to carry out their wishes or taking responsibility for their emotions.
• Playing the victim—Seeking sympathy and claiming that others are responsible for their problems and feelings.
• Blame-shifting—Claiming that everything bad is someone else’s fault, even when the fault clearly lies with them.
• Lying—Refusing to admit falsehoods even when the evidence is obvious.
• Gaslighting—Raising suspicions about what we know or have experienced, leading us to question our reality.
• Intimidating—Making subtle threats, threatening to exert power, or hinting at consequences if cooperation is not forthcoming.

Unfortunately, regular engagement with emotionally manipulative people can take a significant mental, emotional, and physical toll on us. We can experience depression and anxiety, feel helpless and lack of confidence, and suffer from guilt and shame. We may even engage in unhealthy coping behaviors and suffer from exhaustion.

The good news is that there are several useful strategies we can tap to protect our well-being and manage manipulators and their behavior. Here are seven approaches to help you gain control and remain sane.

Set and enforce emotional boundaries. Be ready for the manipulator to press and test your boundaries. Expect attempts to ridicule and guilt you for not prioritizing the manipulator’s interests and priorities. If pushed, refuse to engage; instead, respond by stating your commitment to prioritizing your well-being.

Refuse to take responsibility for the manipulator’s emotions. Don’t take what the manipulator says personally. Your guilt, shame, and vulnerability are what they crave to be successful. When you break that link, you diminish their power. Their feelings and behavior are their choice, not your responsibility.

Remain calm. When the manipulator attempts to pull you in, refuse to react. Detach emotionally from what the manipulator is saying or doing. When manipulators do not receive the reaction they expect, they often lose interest. If the manipulator persists, you may need to create physical space, including walking away or ending the relationship.

Avoid power struggles. Manipulative people excel at power competition and advantages. They have lots of strategies and are not reluctant to use them, no matter how they may impact you. Resist debating, forget trying to win, and detach from determining who is right or wrong. The manipulator is trying to escalate the situation to achieve an advantage. Don’t take the bait.

Be clear about your needs and expectations. State what you mean in direct terms. Resist sending open-ended messages, invitations, or requests. Vagueness and mixed signals are the manipulator’s playground. They will reinterpret what you said or meant and leave you feeling guilty, regretful, and bewildered. Meanwhile, expect vagueness and mixed signals from the manipulator, often followed by an interpretation that favors what the manipulator wants or expects.

Listen to your intuition. Manipulators can be difficult to spot. They are often friendly, even seemingly genuinely helpful, when it fits their purpose. They may compliment and smother with kindness when they want something. If you find yourself second-guessing your interpretation or feeling “icky” following a conversation or experience, manipulation may have been at play. If something feels manipulative, it probably is.

Tap sources of support. Manipulators often attempt to isolate those whom they are trying to manipulate. Their tactics work best when their intended victims are not testing their experiences against reality or others’ perceptions. Talk to friends, colleagues, or family members about what is happening and get their reactions. If they have experience with the manipulator, they may be able to validate your experience and offer advice. Consider seeking professional help if the situation is becoming serious and you are having difficulty finding a path forward.

Of course, the “through line” for each of these strategies is that we need to take care of ourselves. Self-care is a critical element in successfully countering an emotional manipulator. They depend on others’ emotional and physical exhaustion for their success. But we are not powerless, and we can prevail. Own your own!

Few people are likely to disagree with the observation that the frequency and acceptance of disrespectful behavior has grown. Behavior that used to generate outrage and embarrassment too often feels normalized. Actions and words that were once met with demands for immediate apology and behavior change seemingly barely raise an eyebrow. Even public figures appear to have fewer filters for their speech; cursing, insults, and insinuations are common fare among people whom we used to look to as models of decorum and properness.

Of course, this trend is not confined to adults. “Respect your elders” used to be a common mantra. At one time, “We don’t talk/behave that way” was a powerful admonishment and cause for shame. Unfortunately, for too many young people, models of respectful behavior are scarce or missing, and lessons about proper discourse are absent. Meanwhile, what they observe and experience in daily life presents few boundaries and little guidance for proper behavior.

We might wish that we could wave a magic wand and return to times when respect was a sign of good character and proper upbringing. We might long for days when disrespectful behavior was less frequent and the people who engaged in disrespect understood that their behavior did not reflect well on them. Correction was a matter of pointing out the behavior, not teaching why it was not acceptable.

Nevertheless, we can choose to wring our hands and complain, or we can work to at least improve the level of respect we experience in our work with colleagues, students, and others. Unfortunately, life does not issue magic wands and there is a limit to how much we can control the behavior of others. Any change we want to see must begin with us and what we can control.

The good news is that the behavior we choose in our interactions with others can have a powerful effect on their behavior. If we want to feel more respect from others, we can start by taking these seven actions:

• We can consistently show respect in our attitude, speech, and behavior. People who are respectful almost always experience higher levels of respect from others.
• We can assume respect from others. What we expect influences what we find. If we expect disrespect, we are more likely to interpret undefined behavior as disrespectful.
• When we experience what feels like disrespect, we can choose to remain calm and composed. If the disrespect is intended to stimulate a negative reaction, the purpose will have been thwarted. If we misinterpreted the words or behavior, we will have avoided awkwardness and embarrassment.
• We might refuse to take the other person’s words or behavior personally. In many situations, what feels like disrespect for us is an expression of frustration, the result of a misunderstanding, or a manifestation of confusion. Even if what we experience is intended as disrespect to us, we gain little by making it a personal issue.
• We can set boundaries and expectations with colleagues, students, and others with whom we interact regularly. Boundaries of acceptability are often enough to moderate behavior. Stating that what was said or done feels disrespectful can signal what is and is not acceptable to us.
• We need to reject the disrespectful behavior, not the person. The other person’s behavior is something that can be changed. Regardless of the behavior, the person still has worth. When we reject the person, we risk creating a divide that may make a future relationship difficult, if not impossible.
• We do well to avoid responding with criticism or blame. Focusing on resolution and solutions is not only likely to be more productive in the moment, but our behavior can also leave the door open to address what we see as disrespect later when emotions are under control and a level of trust is present.

In the context of a classroom, we obviously have more influence on what is acceptable through rule setting and behavior management. The seven actions still apply, but some additional steps may be useful:

• We may need to explicitly teach the difference between respect and disrespect and examine the subjectivity behind certain examples of each. In some cases, some students may not be fully aware of how their words and actions impact on others. There are some things that are more generally considered respectful or disrespectful, though, and those more objective examples are worth discussing.
• We can include respect for oneself and others in the expectations we establish for classroom behavior.
• We may need to intervene more directly in response to disrespectful words and actions, but our approach needs to be in private, when possible, and informed by the seven actions presented above.
• We might give students opportunities to build respect for themselves and from their peers. Offering students meaningful choices in their learning, providing leadership roles, and giving students a voice in classroom operation can be good places to start.
• We can increase our influence and reduce the frequency of disrespect by forming strong, consistent, positive relationships with students. Our interest in and caring for our students matter.

This list could go on, but the truth is that our consistent practice of respect for ourselves and others can have a powerful impact on the behavior of those around us.

We may not think much about the attitude or demeanor we bring to the classroom and share with our students every day. We might assume that the instructional strategies we employ and the materials we use are what matter most. Or we may think that our students’ dispositions and their readiness to learn are what will determine whether the day will be successful. We might even assume that how challenging the lesson objective is will determine its outcome. 

It goes without saying that instructional strategies and support materials are important, that student readiness to learn matters, and that what students are learning can make a difference. However, these factors can be quickly and heavily eclipsed by the attitudes we ourselves present with and to our students every day. The unseen but pervasive atmosphere in our classroom on most days is formed by the mood and tone we project. For students who struggle, the influence of how we present how we feel about the day—and them—can have an outsized impact.  

When we are grumpy, students pull back and may even become grumpy, too, in response. When we are angry or depressed, students might search for the reason and/or keep their distance. When we do not feel good about what we are doing, students pick up on it and may worry that it is in some way connected to them. 

On the other hand, when our attitude projects caring, support, confidence, and persistence, all the other factors that can impact success become contributing rather than determinative. Let’s examine six key attitudes that can have an outsized influence on the success of our students—and by extension, us.  

Patience supported by belief in potential. High expectations rest on an understanding that our students have the potential to improve, perform, and succeed. We may need to adjust the pace or moderate our approach, but when students feel that we believe in them and their ability to succeed, they are more likely to take learning risks and persist until they are successful.  

Readiness to adapt and be flexible. We cannot accurately predict what the day will bring. We may plan meticulously only to face an unexpected interruption, encounter an unanticipated barrier, or experience the malfunction of a key tool or piece of equipment. Our willingness to shift, modify, or even abandon what we planned without undue complaint can reassure students that we know what we are doing and will not be deterred in our commitment to support their learning.  

Empathy and emotional support. Students want to know that we care about them and value what matters to them. An attitude of listening and caring can have a lifelong impact for a student who is struggling or may be facing a significant life challenge. Taking the stance that our students are people first can make a big difference.   

Valuing effort and progress. Not every student will immediately grasp a new concept or quickly master a new skill. Learning can take many paths, and students often begin their learning journeys in different places. Of course, we need to be concerned about outcomes, but the greatest value in the learning we foster is found in teaching our students how to learn. Helping students to find the best strategies, coaching the best type of effort to give, and supporting the progress they are making can have a much greater impact than a pat on the back for earning a good grade.  

Passion for teaching and learning. Our students are perceptive, and they can feel when we want them to be inspired by what they are learning and curious about what more they might learn. Our excitement when they overcome a challenge or achieve a learning victory can send a powerful message about why we choose to teach and how we feel about them and their learning.  

Consistency and fairness. Students want to know that we will treat them and their classmates equitably regardless of who they are or what their learning history is. Being consistent when enforcing rules and fair when students misstep can build trust and create a sense of security. When students know what we expect and trust that they will be treated fairly, they are more likely to engage in challenging work and listen to our guidance and advice. 

When students feel a sense of optimism, patience, possibility, and empathy from us, we set the stage for success. We may make a mistake, students may struggle, and many things might go wrong, yet learning will still grow, students will still feel connected and cared for, and we can still have a successful day. 

These are times that demand flexibility and insight. Much of what we have assumed about our work and those who we seek to nurture and teach has changed and will continue to change. We need to be alert to what is shifting, what is enduring, and how we can position ourselves, our focus, and our skills to achieve success while sustaining our energy and sanity.

We know that adaptability is a key to survival in a changing and often unpredictable environment. Adaptability helps us to be versatile, stay resilient, and manage stress, and it prepares us to embrace change rather than fear or fight it.

However, adaptability has its primary focus on change that is already occurring. It is already here, and it demands an immediate response. While important to how we will choose to respond, adaptability does not anticipate, prepare for, and attempt to shape the future.

Because life is unpredictable, we cannot always wait to face the need for change before we decide how best to respond. We need to be able to move from a position of reacting to a more proactive approach. Experts describe this shift as moving from adaptation to agility.

Agility shifts our thinking and behavior from responding to change to anticipation and proactivity. Agility involves imagining the future and preparing to embrace, adjust, and shape what lies ahead. In an age of emerging artificial intelligence, shifting expectations of educators and education, and evolving opportunities to innovate, agility represents the next-level skill that can position us to shape our future and open new doors to success.

In future-focused leadership circles, agility is often referred to as “prospection.” Prospection is the practice of looking ahead, imagining possible scenarios, designing strategies, and taking purposeful, insightful actions. Let’s consider how agility and the practice of prospection might be useful to our thinking and practice in small and large applications.

First, we can practice agility by considering the chemistry and personality makeup of our classes and anticipating where there may be common interests, conflicting characteristics, and cautions to be observed. We can plan activities, design learning experiences, and shape interactions to maximize positive collective energy and build a strong community. Of course, our agility is the secret to smooth, successful, sustained classroom management.

Second, we might practice prospection by exploring emerging technologies, examining innovative instructional strategies, and identifying accelerated learning approaches. These elements can be woven into new learning experiences and supports for students, especially learners who struggle with traditional teaching practices and learning tools. Our agility can prepare learning paths that help all students find success.

Third, we can explore future-focused knowledge and enduring skills our students will need to be successful in learning and life. Armed with these insights, we might design our instructional strategies and shift our assessment focus to include crucial competencies students will need to rely on long after they leave us. Of course, we need to share timely information and credible implications with students and families to help them to understand the importance and utility of such a shift. Our agility can shape learning experiences that serve students for life.

Fourth, we need to consider our learners’ needs to provide the agile leadership and the technological and instructional skills necessary to understand, articulate, and advocate for necessary change. Embracing the future and practicing agility will demand new policy prospectives and flexible practice allowances. Our insight, agility, and advocacy will be crucial to realizing significant system changes.

Without question, we need to be ready and quick to adapt as needs evolve, expectations change, and required skills shift. However, we also must remain focused on the future and agile in anticipating what will be needed, remaining open to innovative ideas and perspectives, and ready to design strategies to shape what lies ahead.

Life seems to come at us at full speed; as Ferris Bueller notably observed, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” In our day-to-day schedule, though, finding time to reflect, appreciate, and enjoy life can sometimes feel beyond our reach, yet the truth is that each of us has the same number of minutes and hours in each day. The key to finding a pace that works for us and provides time for what makes us happy, gives us comfort, and feeds our soul resides in decisions we make every day.

We can allow life to come at us at its own pace, or we can decide to exercise more control. We can react to things life throws at us without much thought, or we can respond with insight and purpose. The choice is ours.

Of course, gaining more control over our lives, finding ways to moderate the pace, and reserving time for what matters to us is not necessarily easy. It requires thoughtfulness, focus, and some discipline. However, the process can be amazingly fulfilling and meaningful. Here are eight strategies we can use to slow life down and allow us to savor more of it.

Establish reassuring routines and reinforcing rituals. We might start each day by taking a brief walk while taking note of our surroundings and appreciating nature. We may spend a few minutes stretching and loosening our muscles. We might spend some time journaling our thoughts while having a cup of tea or coffee. The key is to begin the day with a comfortable pace and thoughtful presence. Similarly, at the end of the day, we can establish quieting and relaxing routines and rituals; listening to calming music, reading a good book, or taking a relaxing bath or shower can bring the day to a peaceful close.

Engage in mini breaks and mindful minutes. We can interrupt the pace of hectic days by consciously stepping back for even a few minutes to close our eyes, calm our minds, and give our brains a rest. These mini breaks can also be times when we practice mindfulness activities such as breathing deeply, choosing calming thoughts, and centering our attention on the moment. Even a minute or two spent during transitions can help us to slow down and connect to our feelings and surroundings. As a result, our stress can ebb, and our productivity can surge.

Slow your speed and take your time. As simple as it may seem, consciously slowing our walking pace, moderating the tempo of our speech, and even driving at a more leisurely pace can help us to feel calm and more deliberate in our thoughts and actions. Similarly, we can resist multitasking and, instead, focus on what we are currently doing while savoring the moment. Meanwhile, we will make fewer mistakes and get more accomplished.

Take time away from the tension of technology. We might designate times when we will unplug from notifications, alarms, and screens. For example, we might choose to unplug during meals, while driving to and from work, an hour before bed, and, if possible, a day on the weekend. We can avoid nonessential alarms and notifications that add to our distraction. Of course, staying away from technology during the night can lead to more restful sleep. Time spent away from the screens in our lives also creates more opportunities to focus on ourselves, connect with our surroundings, and pay more attention to our loved ones.

Notice small things and appreciate simple pleasures. In a hurried life we can overlook, ignore, and discount the presence and value of small but enjoyable aspects of life. Paying attention to the sunrise and sunset, focusing on music as we listen to it, stopping to smell a flower, or enjoying the taste of a delicious meal can help us to gain greater enjoyment of everyday life. Making time to visit with a friend, spending quality time with family members, or engaging in conversation with a neighbor can help us to refocus and reflect on the importance of the people in our lives.

Prioritize progress over perfection. When we expect perfection, we are more likely to be disappointed than gratified. Focusing on progress gives us permission to make mistakes—and learn from them. Expecting perfection, on the other hand, means mistakes must be avoided. We can celebrate small wins and modest successes as we build new skills, develop our talents, and expand our expertise. Regardless of whether progress comes at a modest and consistent pace or occurs in surprising leaps, we can savor the journey and use the experience to remain positive and motivated to live and learn.

Consider the possibility of procrastination. Procrastination has a bad reputation, but just because something is on our to-do list does not always mean that it must be done right now, or even today. Sometimes allowing time to pass can lead to a better understanding of something or a better approach to completing a task. In some cases, conditions migrate, and the task we thought we needed to complete changes or may no longer require our attention. Of course, we need to avoid falling into the trap or habit of putting off what really needs to be done. However, considering elements of urgency, timeliness, and consequences can help us to better manage the pace and sequence of what needs our attention.

Regularly reflect, reassess, and realign. Life happens whether we go with the flow or decide how to live it. Spending time thinking about what is important to us, contemplating the difference we want to make, and setting goals can help us to clarify and honor our priorities. However, we need to regularly reflect on how and whether we are really spending our time on what is most important. Intentions matter and plans are necessary, but what we do and how we spend our time determines whether what we value is also what we live.

There is no question that resisting the constant rush of life is a challenge and finding time for meaning, enjoyment, and appreciation can be difficult. These and other strategies can help us to create space for meaning, find a place for enjoyment, and embrace life as it unfolds. Do you have some favorite strategies to add?

For many of us, this time of the year can bring with it a great deal of complicated thoughts and feelings. Not only do we face many expectations from others, but we also hold numerous expectations for ourselves. Meanwhile, this is a time when we often experience difficulties, disappointments, and setbacks and feel emotions most acutely.

It is only natural that we want this to be a time when we feel centered, connected, and confident in who we are and what we do. We want to feel good about ourselves and to have others feel good about us. The challenge is to overcome what life brings us and not be pulled down by events over which we have little or no control.

The good news is that there are several experience- and research-proven life strategies that we can employ now—and throughout the year—that can lift our spirits and our confidence, make us more resilient, and leave us feeling more connected to those around us. Here are five of those strategies to try.

Forgiveness:

We might think that forgiveness is primarily about removing the blame and resentment we feel toward someone who wronged us. Yet, while freeing the other person from the grudge we hold toward them is certainly a part of the process of forgiveness, equally important is freeing ourselves from the emotional burden and preoccupation that resentment carries for us. Of course, forgiving is also important when we need to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness allows us to become free to engage, grow, and live free of guilt and shame.

Gratitude:

Consistently taking time to consider and reflect on what is good in our lives can shift our outlook, even during times of stress and strain. Gratitude can help us to become more resilient and better able to manage relationships in our lives. When practiced regularly, gratitude can function much like a muscle that allows us to recognize what is difficult and may cause us to struggle without becoming stuck or preoccupied. Meanwhile, our positive and appreciative outlook can spread to others and inspire them to be more optimistic and less preoccupied with disappointments and stresses. Gratitude, positivity, and optimism can give us confidence, help us to remain centered, and feel connected to others in our lives.

Authenticity:

Being authentic is more than choosing to be oneself, and it is not a matter of simply removing one’s interpersonal “filter” to do and say whatever comes to mind. In fact, authenticity has more to do with being clear about what we value, what we want to accomplish, and who we want to be. Becoming more authentic starts with acting with purpose, focusing on what matters, and finding alignment between what we spend our time and energy on and what is most important to us. Authenticity is engaging in the journey from where we are to who we wish to be. Authenticity gives us courage to act, helps us to become centered in who we are, and frees us to connect with who and what is important in our lives.

Altruism:

We might not think much about altruism—doing things for others, making donations, volunteering, and similar selfless activities—as being just as important and rewarding for the giver as the receiver. Yet, going out of our way to help others also improves how we feel about ourselves. The truth is that doing good feels good. When we help others, our mood improves, and our well-being grows. Research studies have found that altruism can reduce feelings of depression and even provide respites from pain in people suffering from cancer. Doing good can help us to feel better about ourselves and more connected to others.

Hope:

We might think of hope as a naïve view of life and susceptible to being dashed by the words and actions of others. But hope is more than a verbal form of optimism or an idealistic view of life. Hope is the realization that success is possible with patience, effort, strategy, and persistence. Hope is a key motivator that pushes and pulls us toward our goals and is not dependent on the immediate expectation of success or the departure of problems. It gives us confidence that staying the course will lead to what we seek, and it can help us to be resilient in the face of setbacks because we see today’s experiences as part of a longer, more important life journey. Hope can give us confidence, keep us focused, and connect us with others who share our goals and values.

Obviously, we cannot always control the day-to-day experiences that may disappoint or depress us. However, we do control what we do to preserve our outlook and overcome what may briefly set us back. Tapping the power of forgiveness, gratitude, authenticity, altruism, and hope can make an amazing difference.