The Master Teacher Blog

This is a time of the year when educators can feel as though our energy levels have been depleted and are in need of a boost so that we can fully enjoy our summer breaks. For some of us, the school year has left us feeling utterly spent and focused only on getting through each day. As a result, we might have narrowed some of our interests and neglected activities that have excited, energized, and motivated us in the past. Or we may be looking for something to refocus, reenergize, and renew our sense of purpose and direction, especially as we look toward the summer months and hope for rejuvenation.

There is a historical figure whose approach to life can provide inspiration and guidance for living life to its fullest, staying vibrant, and being interested in the world around us: Benjamin Franklin. It must be said that there were aspects of Franklin’s life that were not admirable and are not to be emulated. Nevertheless, he was someone who fully embraced life. His contributions to science, culture, and other areas have endured. There is much we can learn from how he approached and lived his life, things that we can apply to our own lives to keep us fresh, alert, and engaged.

Richard Munson’s “Ingenious: A Biography of Benjamin Franklin, Scientist” is filled with insights and examples of what made Franklin and his life exceptional. Here are six lessons we can glean from his approach to life and the behaviors he practiced and promoted.

Benjamin Franklin was insatiably curious. Franklin had a wide variety of interests; his curiosity extended to include science, politics, literature, philosophy, history, and more. He did not fear appearing uninformed. In fact, what he did not know drove his enthusiasm for learning.

Lesson: We do not have to fear what we do not know or what people might think. Being willing to ask, explore, and experience can lead to energizing, motivating, and enlightening new insights.

Benjamin Franklin was deeply reflective. Benjamin Franklin began each day by reflecting on what he wanted to accomplish and ended the day with reflection on what he succeeded in accomplishing and what he needed to learn and improve. He believed that reflection is the key to remaining focused, moving forward, and becoming better.

Lesson: Life is a series of experiences. However, they only have an impact when we take time to reflect on and learn from them. Reflection can help us to avoid having repeated experiences that lead nowhere, and it encourages us to view every experience as an invitation to learn, grow, and move forward.

Benjamin Franklin reveled in discovery. He appreciated discovery when it was what he expected, but he delighted in discoveries that were not what he anticipated. In fact, Franklin treasured discoveries that dispelled assumptions and revealed new insights.

Lesson: Every day features activities and outcomes, some of which are planned and expected and others that are not. We might be reassured when what we expect happens, but the unexpected often reveals something worth exploring, appreciating, and treasuring. Our choice to revel in discovery can be an excellent source of inspiration and renewal.

Benjamin Franklin was a voracious learner. He was an avid reader and prolific writer. His reading included topics far afield from his formal career. Franklin understood that exposure to a variety of disciplines and perspectives broadened his understanding and grew his knowledge. His writing offered a means to process what he learned and sharpen his thinking.

Lesson: We can access information today through multiple means, but exposing ourselves to other perspectives, views, and knowledge is no less beneficial to our thinking and understanding. Similarly, we may not write letters and depend on formal communication as much as during Franklin’s lifetime, but the process of writing, through whatever means, can still solidify our thinking and keep our minds sharp.

Benjamin Franklin was a constant networker. He maintained a wide array of friends, colleagues, and contacts. His engagement with others spanned an expansive array of disciplines, expertise, and backgrounds. Franklin saw interactions with others as valuable sources for learning, discovering fresh ideas, and challenges to his thinking.

Lesson: The social networks we form can be excellent sources of information, insight, and encouragement. When our networks include people who think differently than we think, have experiences that are different than our experiences, and who bring insights and ask questions that challenge our thinking, they can be great resources for freshening our learning and sustaining our growth.

Benjamin Franklin sought balance in life. Despite the breadth of interests and involvements that filled his life, Franklin advocated for balance and moderation. Finding time for recreation and rest from work helped him to maintain his energy and remain mentally sharp.

Lesson: Life can seem to be filled with limitless expectations and demands. As a result, we can find ourselves spending a disproportionate amount to time and energy in one area while neglecting others. Unless we commit to setting boundaries, finding balance, and practicing discipline, exhaustion and frustration will be our frequent companions as we make our way through life.

Without question, life today can be challenging. However, there are elements and aspects of life that are universal and timeless. Benjamin Franklin lived in a difference century, but much of what he promoted and practiced still has value today. Our task is to learn the lessons we need to live the life we seek.

As humans, it’s fair to say that we generally like to feel competent and confident. Confidence comes with knowing what is expected of us, and we feel competent when we know how to respond effectively to the challenges we face. Feeling competent provides us with a sense of comfort, control, and stability.

However, preoccupation with feeling competent can get in the way of our learning and growth. Wanting to feel competent can keep us in our comfort zone when we need to venture outside of it and into our learning zone. Moving beyond our comfort zone can expose us to risks, missteps, mistakes, and fear, and in turn, we can experience stress, feel anxious, and be embarrassed.

Still, we are not likely to grow unless we are willing to nudge ourselves to gain new experiences, try new approaches, and build our learning. We need the courage to experience feelings of incompetence if we hope to grow, learn, and move to new levels of competence.

At times, we may actively choose to venture into circumstances that leave us feeling incompetent. At other times, the conditions and context within which we live and work change, leaving us feeling incompetent and needing to change and grow in order to regain our competence. Let’s explore five circumstances in which our feelings of incompetence can be the stimuli we need to move us forward and lift us higher.

1. When taking on a new role. Early days and weeks in a new role can present us with tasks and challenges that generate feelings of incompetence. At the same time, these experiences can offer the freedom to explore the purpose and effectiveness of common practices and procedures. While we may ask many “how” questions, we can be free to ask just as many “why” questions. We can also explore different approaches and test common assumptions that later, when we have settled in, might cause uncertainty and create consternation among colleagues. Our willingness to embrace our feelings of incompetence and our commitment to learning can be the fuel we need to gain the confidence and competence we need to succeed.
2. When practicing a new strategy. Learning and applying new strategies can feel awkward and inefficient at first. Yet, overcoming feelings of incompetence requires that we persist until we gain the understanding and skill necessary for the strategy to work. Meanwhile, trying something new often offers opportunities to make mistakes without undue shame or embarrassment. We can take risks, examine consequences, and learn from experience. We can be free to try various options and discover what works best before settling into a preferred approach.
3. When conditions change. When circumstances change, populations shift, or teams are reformed, we face the challenge of discovering how we need to alter our thinking and practices. Assumptions about what works may no longer apply. Consequently, we may no longer feel competent in areas we used to take for granted. A new context can free us to explore new approaches, develop a new understanding of our work, and create new relationships that lead to learning and new levels of competence.
4. When learning to use new tools. New tools come with new processes and new applications and may even require new skills. Old ways of doing things may be replaced by more efficient approaches and new processes. Our lack of knowledge and experience can free us to explore uses of and applications for the new tool(s). Our feelings of incompetence can free us to ask what may seem like obvious questions without others expecting us to already have the answers, and we can tap the insights and experience of colleagues to accelerate our learning and build our competence.
5. When facing new expectations. Feelings of incompetence that accompany new expectations may present the greatest challenge. New expectations can leave us feeling that what we have been doing is not good enough. They can challenge what we believe and assume about ourselves, our practice, and our students. We can feel resentment and be resistant. Yet, new expectations can also be an invitation to re-examine common processes and practices. They can lead us to set new goals. We can choose to open ourselves to new ideas and explore new approaches. Our confidence and feelings of competence return when we realize that we are capable of meeting new expectations with the adjustments we make and the strategies we adopt.

Feeling incompetent may not be comfortable, but it may be the push we need to build our skills, strengthen our confidence, and position us for future success. The key is to see what we face as an opportunity to take advantage of rather than a problem to avoid.

There are several facts we know about stress. First, in the lives of practicing educators, it is inevitable; each day is filled with expectations for high performance, decisions that have an impact on the lives of others, and priorities that compete for our attention and action. Second, not all stress is bad; while some types and levels of stress can certainly gnaw at our confidence and sap our energy, other kinds of stress can nudge us to do our best work. The third thing we know about stress is that, when sustained, it is harmful to our mental and physical health; we need to have breaks from high levels of stress to recover and regain our emotional balance and energy.

Another thing is certain: If we fail to manage our stress, it will manage us. Failing to manage stress can lead to depression, exhaustion, and burnout. Sophia Mullins, founder of the Wall Street Wellness consultancy and former Wall Street investment banker, notes in Fast Company that roughly half of all workers are chronically exhausted from stress. The numbers are even higher for educators.

Mullins argues that the secret to having a healthy relationship with stress is to manage our energy. She notes that by becoming more aware of situations that carry varying levels of stress, we can adjust our approach to regulate and preserve our energy, thus reducing the negative impact of sustained stress.

Mullins proposes three states of energy that people experience throughout their day. Intentional intensity occurs when we invest maximum levels of energy and mental focus. Stress during these times activates adrenaline and cortisol, two performance-enhancing chemicals. A second state, relaxed productivity, allows us to perform routine tasks without investing the high levels of mental energy required in stressful circumstances. A third state is restorative time, when we shift our attention and allocate our energy in areas apart from work and other stress-inducing activities. Of course, the key is to recognize when it is time to shift our energy and minimize “spillover” from other energy states. Let’s examine these energy states in greater detail and then discuss how we can manage energy transitions successfully.

Intentional intensity: These times represent our zone of peak performance. These are times of high stakes, high impact, and high pressure. They ask us to be our most efficient, give our highest levels of focus, and do our best work. These times require our full attention, best judgment, and most impactful communication. Providing initial instruction, attempting a new strategy that moves us out of our comfort zone, offering feedback, redirecting student attention, and dealing with behavior are examples of when we may exert intentional intensity. However, too much time spent at this energy level can lead to burnout, so we need to move away from it when what we are doing does not require such a level of focus and effort.

Relaxed productivity: These are periods when we need to be productive, but the tasks we are working on do not demand our full mental capacity. This is the state of energy where most professional work is accomplished. For educators, the tasks that fall into this category might include designing lessons, responding to emails and other correspondence, reflecting on our actions and experiences, consulting with colleagues, and reviewing student work. These responsibilities are important, but they are not typically all-consuming of our energy.

Restorative time: These are times when we fully detach from work thoughts and tasks. Time for restoration is important and should be included in every day, but it does not always have to be lengthy. Examples of restorative time might include taking a walk, listening to music, engaging in a favorite hobby, and visiting with friends, family, and colleagues. Too few restorative periods and too little time spent at this level of energy can lead to burnout as certainly as spending too much time engaged in intentional intensity.

To some extent, as we transition from one activity to another or relocate from one setting to another, we may naturally transition from one energy level to another. When finishing a lesson, wrapping up an important meeting, or completing the workday, we might automatically shift our energy—but not always. We may maintain the mental state and energy of a high-stress activity into another that demands less, thus wasting energy and depleting our reserves.

Mullins recommends that we create physical or sensory signals that tell us it is time to switch our energy state, like taking a few deep breaths, going on a short walk, stretching, or even just rolling our shoulders. Depending on our circumstances and preferences, we may even have playlists to help us make key transitions to productive or restorative times. The key is to have as many signals for our body as we can to alert our nervous system that we can step back, shift gears, or even “turn off’ for a few minutes.

Our ability to match our energy to the situations we face and switch as circumstances shift can make a significant difference in the weight of the stress we carry and our ability to thrive despite it. Remember, emotional exhaustion is not just the result of working too hard. It is the result of not taking the time to recharge.

Source:

Mullins, S. (2025, February 13). Work-life balance is a myth. Here’s why I practice intentional intensity. Fast Company. https://www.fastcompany.com/91277352/work-life-balance-is-a-myth-heres-why-i-practice-intentional-intensity

Most of us have experienced times when our energy and enthusiasm 
have “bottomed out.” We may have faced a major task, a difficult challenge, or something else that we wanted to avoid. Despite knowing that we needed to act, our energy was low and we chose to procrastinate and make excuses—to ourselves or someone else.

Some might label this state as laziness, and laziness has a bad reputation. We associate it with lack of initiative, avoiding responsibility, and absence of effort. However, feeling low levels of energy can be complicated. For many people, feeling or acting in way that might be considered lazy is the result of some force or factor that is driving their mental and physical state. It is possible that we are experiencing something mental or physical that needs attention. If the condition persists, we need to consult a professional with expertise to diagnose and treat the situation.

The cause of our low energy may also be a temporary psychological conflict or letdown. We may be avoiding something that we anticipate will be unpleasant, difficult, or uncomfortable. We might doubt our chances of succeeding at something, or maybe we are afraid of what will happen if we do succeed. Or we may question whether what lies ahead is worth the effort and if it will bring the benefits promised. What we feel and perceive may or may not be realistic, but the fact remains that it is still likely to influence our choices and behavior.

The question is: How can we get past the feeling, renew our energy, and avoid having it become a habit? Obviously, we need to examine the cause. Once we isolate what is making us hesitate, procrastinate, or avoid what we face, we can explore ways to confront and get beyond it. With this information in mind, here are eight energy-boosting strategies to consider:

• Break down tasks or challenges into manageable steps. We can counter feeling overwhelmed by identifying achievable components and taking small initial steps. Chunking challenges out like this can build our confidence, renew our energy, and create momentum to keep moving forward.
• Set clear, achievable, time-bound goals. Goals can help us to clarify purpose, develop confidence, and build commitment to move forward. Understanding why we need to act can build motivation and help us to persist when we face resistance or our energy ebbs.
• Develop a workable structure for action. Consider establishing a schedule and work plan. For example, we might work on a project for a defined amount of time and then take a break to refresh or focus on something else before returning. Making progress can be a significant energy builder.
• Focus on action and effort rather than immediate results. Achieving sought-after results may take some time. Giving attention to steps we have taken and actions we have completed can build our confidence while also bringing us closer to achieving what we seek.
• Celebrate small wins. We can build energy and momentum by paying attention to our progress. Acknowledging our progress can build our confidence and restore our stamina. Celebrating milestones and completed tasks can create energy and sustain our commitment.
• Practice positive self-talk. Daily affirmations and mantras can help us to shift our thinking, build our confidence, and change our behavior. What we say to ourselves often exerts more influence on our thoughts and behaviors than what we hear from others.
• Shift thinking habits. Rather than focusing on what to avoid or how to put off difficult or uncomfortable things, commit to seeing challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. Rather than fearing difficult conversations, think of them as opportunities to clear the air, build understanding, and seek a workable solution.  
• Let go of what holds you back. When we choose not to pursue an opportunity, complete an important goal, or pursue a new role, we may be allowing something from the past to hold us back. Deciding to let go, releasing ourselves from guilt and regret, or deciding to forgive someone or something can give us energy, hope, and confidence to move forward and take the action we need to find the success and satisfaction we deserve.

A final thought: Experiencing low energy is not necessarily a bad thing. Occasionally, we need to step back, take a break, and find some respite from what is driving us. Rest and recovery can be important to our mental and physical health. A refreshed spirit and renewed energy can be the beginning of a cycle of creativity, productivity, and difference-making.

We know that the choices our students make about who they’re friends with matter. Students who spend most of their time with peers who value learning, achieving, and succeeding do better in school. For example, students who join athletic teams, participate in the arts, and join other purpose-driven groups tend to misbehave less and succeed more in academics. Similarly, students who spend most of their time with others who expect to graduate also graduate at higher rates themselves. Likewise, students whose friends plan to go on to higher education have a higher rate of participation in formal education after high school.

However, the influence of social networks is not confined to young people. It turns out that the people we spend time with as adults—our friends, colleagues, and associates—also tend to have a significant impact on our sense of well-being, our productivity, our level of motivation, and even our character. For example, a recent study found that workers who are surrounded with high performers experienced an increase of 15% in their productivity. Attitudes and behaviors such as curiosity, innovation, and motivation have a “spillover effect.”

Surrounding ourselves and spending significant time with positive people, high achievers, and action-oriented individuals can also have a significant impact on our attitude. We tend to feel better more often when the people around us are optimistic, take action to make things better, and show resilience in the face of challenges.

Of course, we cannot always choose those with whom we work and occasionally must spend time. Nevertheless, we can choose to minimize social and unstructured time with negative, pessimistic, and otherwise toxic people. When we must spend time with such people, we can consciously resist being dragged down, depressed, or otherwise influenced by them. Just being aware of the potential to be influenced can provide significant immunization from their impact.

Each of us has networks of people around us. We may have social networks formed by commonalities like the same workplace or field, or we may have networks based on our faith or religion to feed and renew our faith and spirituality. We may even be part of other networks that meet a need, feed an interest, or serve another purpose for us. Each of these associations plays a role in our lives and can have an influence on our happiness, satisfaction, sense of belonging, and self-worth.

There is yet another type of network to consider if we are not already part of one. This network is comprised of people we admire, people who are high achievers in an area of interest or aspiration and who can serve as models to emulate. Our commitment to and participation in this network can play a determinative role in our career success or in other areas of importance to us. When choosing or building this kind of network, there are several factors to prioritize so we can embrace its “spillover effect.” Here are factors to consider in our search:

• Look for thought leaders who provide access to valuable ideas, perspectives, and insights.
• Look for models of mindsets and patterns of behavior that lead to success.
• Pay attention to curious mindsets, innovative approaches, and novel thinking.
• Search for people who are energized by exploring and embracing ideas.
• Seek out skilled, interested listeners who invite your ideas and will provide thoughtful feedback.
• Find people who inspire and challenge your thinking.
• Embrace opportunities to share your knowledge and expertise.

It may be challenging to find or form a network that includes all these features. Just know that the more exposure to and engagement you have with sources of possibility, the greater impact it will have on your thinking, aspirations, performance, and overall satisfaction.

References:

Housman, M., & Minor, D. (June 2016). Workplace design: The good, the bad, and the productive. Harvard Business School. https://www.hbs.edu/ris/Publication%20Files/16-147_c672567d-9ba2-45c1-9d72-ea7fa58252ab.pdf

Corsello, J., & Minor, D. (2017, February 14). Want to be more productive? Sit next to someone who is. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2017/02/want-to-be-more-productive-sit-next-to-someone-who-is

These are times when we might find ourselves feeling as though everything happens in the extreme. We have all been through a lot over the past few years, and the present can feel uncertain, unpredictable, and confusing. Disruption, distraction, and dystopia can overwhelm our emotions and leave us in despair. We may find ourselves expecting only bad news and negative experiences, or we may choose to ignore reality by accepting only positive news and tolerating only optimistic predictions. In short, we can find ourselves embracing the siren of toxic positivity or caught in the grasp of negative bias.

Obviously, maintaining mental balance and practicing sustained emotional health lies between these extremes. At times we may drift toward negativity and feel pessimistic, while at other times we may find ourselves feeling the need to be overly positive and ignore elements of reality that might worry or pull us down. These are natural tendencies. The danger emerges when these attitudes become habits and begin to dominate the way we see and respond to the experiences we have and circumstances we encounter.

While tendencies toward optimism or pessimism may seem to be opposites, they share several important characteristics:

• Both are emotional states. Despite how they may lead us to feel dramatically different, they are mindsets that can become habits. They may reflect how we see life. They may even become part of how people describe our personality.
• Both involve extremes. One is overly optimistic while the other pushes the limits of pessimism. Both can lead us to exaggerate the implications of our experiences and the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
• Both represent a single view of reality. They limit our thinking and drive our focus. Consequently, they can limit the options we consider and steps we might take in response.
• Both grow out of presumptions and perceptions. They are attitudes we embrace that drive our interpretation of reality. Yet, neither toxic positivity nor negativity bias is an accurate assessment of reality.

Recognizing the presence and tendency toward either toxic positivity or negativity bias is an important first step in shifting our thinking and modifying our reaction to what happens to and around us. However, we also need strategies to inform our thinking and responses when we feel ourselves drifting toward extremes. Here are six actions to get started.

Focus on the moment. Allowing the past to overshadow the present can cloud our thinking and limit our options. Fearing the future can paralyze our judgment. Focusing on what is happening and what it means can give us a better understanding and interpretation of the situation or challenge we face.

Recognize emotions for what they are. Emotions are not reality. Rather, they are the result of how we interpret reality. Our biases—whether positive or negative—can get in the way of our thinking and lead us to follow preset thinking paths rather than assessing reality and deciding the best next steps.

Consider how else we might see the circumstance and interpret the experience. Sometimes just recognizing that there are multiple ways to make sense of what is happening can feel empowering and give us better choices in our perspective and response.

Recognize that there is good and bad in every situation. We must accept the full scope of reality, which includes both positive and negative factors. We can choose to view mistakes as reasons for shame or as invitations to learn, and we can decide whether challenges may be seen as problems to be avoided or as opportunities to take advantage of.

Focus on what we can control. In almost every situation or experience, there are elements we can control and those that we cannot. When we become preoccupied or obsessed with what we cannot control, we risk overlooking the tangible, productive steps available to us.

Practice gratitude. When we consider what is good, what we have, and what we can be grateful for, our attention shifts away from negativity without having to insist that everything is or will be perfect.

Emotions can be challenging to recognize, shift, and manage. However, since emotions reside in how we choose to view and interpret experiences and circumstances, we have the power to change them. These six strategies can give us places to start and practices to employ. What other strategies have you found to be useful and effective that you would add to the list?

For many of us, if not most, anxiety can be an enormous life distraction. We can find ourselves spending our time worrying about what lies ahead, doubting whether we will measure up, wondering how we will face a confrontation, or being apprehensive about any of a hundred other challenges life throws our way. Our anxiety might feel like a gnawing sense of concern, or it can feel like an all-consuming worry.

Interestingly, the very presence and level of our anxiety are more likely to be based on our fears and perceptions than on reality. We can easily obsess about a situation that may have few real implications—or none whatsoever. We might constantly replay a situation that is behind us when everyone else has moved on. Or we may catastrophize an outcome that has yet to be determined and will likely not be as bad as we imagine. Fortunately, there are steps and strategies we can employ to counter our anxiety and lessen its weight. Here are seven of the most common anxiety-producing behaviors and practical ways to counter them.

Negative self-talk. Telling ourselves that we are not capable and are likely to fail or otherwise undermining our self-confidence can be especially harmful and anxiety producing. Unfortunately, we may not be fully aware of how negatively we talk to ourselves. Becoming conscious of our self-talk can be an important first step. We also need to remember that our brains pay attention to what is repeated; the more we tell ourselves negative things, the more our brains pay attention to those things.

Counter strategy:

We must pay close attention to what we tell ourselves and consciously shift our negative self-talk to become more positive. Mantras and affirmations can help. The more often we practice speaking positively to ourselves, the less anxiety we generate and must deal with. Of course, speaking positively and confidently about ourselves to others can also be a helpful counter strategy.

Avoidance. If a situation, interaction, or task is creating anxiety for us, we may try to find ways to avoid it. While it may seem that staying away from a circumstance that makes us anxious should make it better, doing so often increases our anxiety. Avoiding a needed conversation, delaying an important decision, or refusing to complete a time-sensitive task can increase our anxiety, while also making the situation worse.

Counter strategy:

Of course, the most direct and obvious counter strategy is to face the situation and get it over with. Usually, the experience is far less negative and uncomfortable than we imagine. Reminding ourselves of situations in the past that we faced and survived, and even succeeded in, can sometimes help. When we need an intermediate step, we might approach the situation incrementally. Breaking a task into parts and completing aspects of the work can be reassuring and diminish our reluctance. Taking the step of scheduling a conversation can give us the courage to go forward. This also is a time when positive self-talk can help us gain the confidence to act.

Either/or thinking. Seeing most things as either good or bad and not recognizing what lies between or what represents the gray area can leave us with little room for nuance and flexibility. Consequently, we can be caught up in reaching extreme conclusions that have no basis. For example, we might overlook a detail in a task, make a mistake in our communication, or misspeak in a presentation, and in response, our either/or thinking leads us to conclude that we are incompetent. Even worse, we worry that others think so, too.

Counter strategy:

The fact is that we all are human. We all make mistakes. Concluding that a misstep is evidence of incompetence is to overlook the reality of life that mistakes may be reminders or opportunities to learn from the experience, but they are rarely not fixable. It is even rarer that are they recalled for very long by others. Life is filled with nuance. Recognizing that most of life exists between the extremes can be reassuring and freeing.

Overthinking. We can become stuck in a loop of replaying our thoughts, reviewing every possible implication from a conversation, or attempting to predict every possible outcome in a situation. Overthinking can magnify issues and divert our energy from places where our thinking might have a useful outcome. As a result, we can find ourselves exhausted, confused, and unable to decide, let go, and move on.

Counter strategy:

Whether we find ourselves replaying an event or situation over in our head or worrying about every possible outcome, we need to recognize what is happening before we can employ a strategy to counter it. Fortunately, there are several steps we can take to counter this tendency. We might set a time limit to avoid being caught in an endless thought loop. We can challenge our thinking by asking ourselves questions such as, “What is the worse probable outcome?” or “Am I blowing this situation out of proportion?” A realistic assessment of the situation can often break the thought pattern. We also might commit to focusing on the elements we can control and then decide what actions to take. Finally, we can accept that imperfection is natural, mistakes will happen, and it is okay to not have all the answers.

Second-guessing. Second-guessing is related to overthinking, but it typically happens after we have reached a decision or taken an action. We may feel uncertain about our choice, wonder if we considered everything, and worry about opportunities we left behind. Our anxiety might be heightened if we gain new information or discover additional implications after having decided.

Counter strategy:

Sometimes we can realize that we did not make the best decision and revisit and change it. However, second guessing is most common when the decision has already been made, and then it is time to move on. Rather than becoming preoccupied by whether we made the right decision, we can focus on the fact that we made the best decision we could with the information we had at the time. Few complex and important decisions are made perfectly. They almost always require trade-offs. Instead of marinating on something we cannot change, we can shift our focus to making the best of the situation. In many circumstances, the value and wisdom of a decision resides more in what we do after the decision than in the decision itself.

Fearing the worst. While waiting to learn an outcome or fearing the arrival of bad news, our anxiety can grow, even though we do not know if what we learn will be negative. Also referred to as catastrophizing, convincing ourselves that the worst will happen and that we will not be able to deal with it can be daunting. The combination of expecting catastrophe and doubting our ability to cope with it can feel overwhelming.

Counter strategy:

Certainly, reminding ourselves that the worst case is only one of the possible outcomes can help us to gain perspective. Resolving ourselves to wait and deal with the outcome when we know it can help. In the meantime, we might consider what we can do and how we might cope should the worst case become reality. Often, it is the unknown and unexamined outcome that is so scary. Developing options and creating plans for what we might do if the worst happens can help us to uncover steps, strategies, and alternatives that reassure and give us confidence that we will survive.

Needing to please others. Preoccupation with what others think about us and feeling that we need to please them in order for them to like us can create an insatiable need that accelerates our anxiety. We can find ourselves parsing other people’s words to find reassurance. Consequently, an off-hand comment or meaningless observation can put us in an unfounded anxious spin.

Counter strategy:

We can start by reminding ourselves that the most important opinion is the opinion we have of ourselves. When we are true to ourselves and make decisions based on our needs, values, and goals, we become more likeable than when we constantly ruminate on the opinions and observations of others. This perspective does not mean that we ignore the needs and perspectives of others. We can care, give, and please others if we do not lose our sense of ourselves. Importantly, in the long term, people with whom we experience the healthiest relationships value who we are, not whether our goal is to please them.

Regardless of its source, anxiety is an uncomfortable feeling and can be a barrier to our best thinking and work. By recognizing the source of our anxiety and taking steps to counter it, we can minimize its impact and find the freedom to be our best selves. Of course, if high levels of anxiety persist and we are unable to let them go, it may be time to seek professional help and support.