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Overcoming the Challenge of Emotional Hoarding

Hoarding physical objects can be a significant life problem. We have seen television shows and read news articles about people who compulsively collect and hold on to seemingly useless objects, even junk. People fill their living space with stuff they collect and often cannot bring themselves to abandon what they have collected. In extreme cases, people are hardly able to live in their house or apartment due to the space occupied by what they are hoarding. For a variety of reasons, despite the stress and discomfort associated with the behavior, they persist.

While physical hoarding is a visible phenomenon, not all hoarding necessarily is visible or physical. Without consciously choosing or even realizing the impact, we can be accumulating mental and emotional “baggage” that saps our energy, grows our stress, and undermines our ability to fully enjoy our life and work.

Much like the accumulation of physical objects, our mental and emotional capacity to engage, explore, grow, and learn can be compromised when we allow past hurts, current conflicts, and the possibility of future disappointments to fill our minds and fray our emotions.

Of course, the mental and emotional elements that take up space come in many forms. It is also true that hoarding happens in stages and does not always grow to the point of paralyzing the hoarder. Regular house cleaning can help to counter urges to hoard. Similarly, conducting a mental and emotional inventory can help us to see what may be interfering with our happiness and success. Becoming conscious of what we are holding on to can position us to let go of what is not serving us well and create space for new energy, curiosity, and growth.

Let’s consider six mental and emotional elements that are worthy of examination and are candidates for abandonment:

Grudges. Grudges can be among largest occupiers of mental space. Grudges distract us; hold us back from forming, fixing, and flourishing relationships; and almost always exact the greatest price from the people who hold them. Deciding to let go, forgive, and move on can be a major emotional space freer.
Guilt. Guilt can occupy a similar amount of mental and emotional space as grudges, but guilt is aimed at ourselves rather than someone else. To clear space, we need to forgive ourselves. To do this, we may need to apologize and make things right with someone we have harmed. We might need to recognize that we cannot change what happened, but if we have learned from the experience, we can give ourselves permission to let it go and free up some emotional space.
Regrets. Regrets can be the result of choices we made or did not make. They can be the result of opportunities we let pass us by or paths we chose that did not serve us well. However, with each decision made, there were likely new experiences gained, lessons learned, and opportunities presented. Rather than looking back and fixating on what might have been, we can commit to making the best of what we have and making better choices in the future.
Assumptions. Assumptions also take up significant undeserved mental space. Assumptions are untested, unproven, and often inaccurate perceptions of how things work, who people are, and what is possible. Testing our assumptions can help us to avoid misunderstandings, miscalculations, and missteps in our relationships with others and become more productive in our work.
Beliefs. Beliefs are formed out of the assumptions we make. We might even think of them as being “stacked” on what we already assume to be true. Beliefs based on inaccurate assumptions can prevent us from engaging in new experiences, taking responsible risks, being curious, and trying new things. Like assumptions, we can create mental space by testing and sorting our beliefs about learning, teaching, and other aspects of our practice.
Fears. Fear may be the most insidious occupier of mental and emotional space. Fear can conjure up images of failure, identify endless risks, warn of embarrassment, and present a near endless list of other “better avoided” actions. Yet, fear thrives on what might be, not on what is or what will be. Unless we confront our fears, we are not likely to dispel those that have no basis but still have a hold on us.

Summer can be a great time for mental and emotional housekeeping. Remember: We do not have to be full-fledged mental and emotional hoarders to benefit from letting go of what distracts and holds us back. Most importantly, any space we create is available for more productive and growth-inducing opportunities.

June 05, 2024

AI: Six Summer Reflection Questions

Throughout the year, we have been bombarded with news, opinions, and advice regarding the presence, potential, and power of artificial intelligence (AI). With so much information swirling around us, it can be difficult to sort what is relevant and useful from what is just hype and noise. Yet, we know that AI is making an impact all around us, and we need to pay attention.

Now, with the summer ahead of us, we can take some time to absorb, reflect, and learn. It can be a challenge to know where to even begin. Because each of us is on our own journey and will have our own individual learning needs and levels of readiness, it will be helpful to consider what is most relevant in terms of our unique needs and potential uses. Here are six questions to guide reflection within your personal context with accompanying discussion to provide support for your journey.

A logical first question is, what steps do I need to take to expand my understanding of how AI can increase the efficiency of my work and effectiveness of my practice? AI is a potentially powerful tool to help us to manage much of the time-consuming work that has been part of our world forever. Lesson planning, correspondence, and brainstorming are just three examples. Further, AI offers access to a wide array of ideas, resources, activities, and perspectives that can enhance the learning we design for and with students. Innovative approaches, creative applications, and novel strategies to support learning can be part of our regular practice without us always having to spend hours developing them.

Second, we might ask what additional information and resources do I need to understand where and how can I use AI to add learning value for my students? This question is related to the first question, but it shifts the focus to how AI can add to the arsenal of learning skills students are developing. AI can add dimensions to their learning experiences that go beyond what we have been able to provide in the past. As examples, AI can position students to view world events from the perspectives of people from other cultures and regions. It can help students to understand and experience the value of what they are asked to learn in ways that extend far beyond what we might be able to provide without extensive research and planning.

A third reflection question is, what additional guidelines and safeguards do I need to put into place to ensure that my students are using AI appropriately and safely? As amazing as AI can be as a resource, it also can create important dilemmas, questions, and quandaries for learners. We need to think through what our students need to know about protecting their privacy and safety. We can examine with students crucial ethical issues regarding the use of AI. Further, we need to equip our students with the skills to be aware of and recognize bias and fabrication of information, and we need to prepare them with options and strategies to respond when they believe they are victims of inappropriate use of AI.

Fourth, how can I increase the engagement of parents as learning partners and supporters to help students use AI in safe and meaningful ways? Communication with parents is key to ensuring safe, ethical, and meaningful AI engagement. Parent engagement will likely be a key element in determining the level and nature of their support as students begin to utilize AI in more integrated, impactful, and extensive ways. Parents will want to know and be reassured that their children’s safety is being protected and that students are continuing to learn and develop skills beyond those necessary to use AI.

Fifth, how can I best support students’ utilization of AI to stimulate, build, and extend learning while avoiding potentially unfounded suspicions and accusations of plagiarism and other forms of cheating? Once introduced to the power of AI, students will want to utilize it—regardless of our approval. Our best choice is to teach students the proper ways in which to access AI to support their learning rather than to replace it. Students need to know how to cite AI sources, how to use AI to stimulate their ideas, and how to access important support AI can provide while not ignoring the importance of their own learning. Predictably, some students will attempt to shortcut their learning by relying on AI to provide the work product for which they are responsible. In response, we might be tempted to use commercially available tools to identify AI content, but caution is warranted as many of them have been shown to be unreliable. Striking a balance is key.

Finally, how am I using engagement with AI to help students to build their resilience, critical thinking, communication, and other durable skills they will need in a tech-driven world? Building the skills necessary to utilize AI is an important challenge for students. However, we also must give attention to the life and work skills students need to be successful in a world where relationships, sound judgement, decision making, problem solving, and other competencies remain crucial. In fact, the existence of AI in no way lessens the importance of these skills. On the contrary, AI arguably make these skills even more important and their application even more consequential.

Obviously, these are questions we can ask ourselves repeatedly as we learn and our experience and skills continue to evolve. It is reasonable to assume that AI will continue to grow and evolve, and our utilization of it will also need to be frequently reconsidered, reoriented, and renewed.

May 30, 2024

Seven Reflection Questions to Capture YOUR Learning from the Past Year

The end of a school year is a good time to pause, reflect, and glean important learning from the past year’s experiences with students, instructional strategies, curricular challenges, and other aspects of our practice while they’re still fresh in our memories. Now is the best time to capture what we have experienced and turn that into learning.

We might think that having the experience is enough to build our learning. However, learning is not the result of experience. After all, experiences can be repeated endlessly and with little gain. Learning, on the other hand, results from reflection. Here are seven questions to stimulate reflection and transform your experience into learning.

How did your most challenging student(s) frustrate you this year? What lesson(s) can you learn that will prevent reoccurrence of the experience next year? There is a philosophical view that in life, we will continually experience frustrations or failure until we learn a lesson that shifts our thinking and behavior, and once the shift is made, we are no longer challenged by the situation. If you discern the lesson your students’ behavior can teach you and identify ways to implement potential solutions, your frustration will likely diminish.

What student(s) surprised you, and how did that experience change your expectations? What we expect is often what we choose to see. However, occasionally something happens that challenges what we expect and changes what we experience. Over the course of the year, it is likely that at least one student’s insight, behavior, or observation challenged what you expected. What can that experience suggest about adjustments to what you expect?

What learning activity or activities did not go well? What was the cause? Might your approach be recast, redesigned, or recontextualized to have it connect with students the next time? In most cases, something might be salvaged, adjusted, or otherwise repurposed to provide value. Even if you conclude that the activity should not receive more attention or be repeated, you have learned something to avoid in the future.

What curriculum content did not connect with students? Curricular items present a different challenge than a strategy or activity that did not work. We can abandon a strategy, but curricular content is part of what we promise to students and for which we are accountable. It may be time to find new examples, concrete applications, or other ways to help students see the value and purpose of the content for next year. Of course, consulting colleagues who may teach the same curriculum or similar content can help to generate ideas and options to consider.

What advice did you receive from a colleague that you need to accept and act on? How will it change your approach or practice? Over the course of the year, you probably received much advice, some of which may have held little value for your work. Other insights and suggestions, though, may be worth keeping and even improving upon for future use. Making a note of what you want to recall and how you might apply it can preserve it for use during the next school year.

What did you discover about yourself this year that is worthy of note and implies an adjustment in how you view yourself? The challenges, surprises, successes, and even setbacks contain important lessons about our own selves. Take a few minutes to reflect on the high points, low points, triumphs, and missteps you experienced. What can you learn and apply to your planning for next year?

How did you typically spend your time each weekly cycle throughout the year? Did your use of time reflect your priorities and provide enough balance to be productive without being exhausted? Where do you need to decrease your time investment to create opportunities and energy for other endeavors? Do you need to find more and better times to disconnect, clear your mind, and refresh your soul? Where will you start?

The end of the year can be an incredibly busy time, but failing to pause, reflect, and learn is a mistake. Some of your most important learning can happen now.

April 25, 2024